I dont know how to be around my family that has only caused me so much pain and anger

Today my sisters surprised me taking me out to lunch and spending the entire day together. Its been so long since we've done anything like that and I enjoyed every part of it.
I had a huge falling out with our parents and one other sibling to where I had to call the cops on them and I was left with no other choice but to leave the home. I feel a void when I'm not around my family but when I'm back in the situation it open up old deep wounds thats filled with oozing anger that no band aid can ever cover to attempt to heal it.
I'm fed up with the side of the family that has abused me over and over again but I miss my sisters and then theres my 2 month old nephew that I was to be of his life as he's growing up. How do I balance the two?
After coming home from hanging out with sisters I couldn't help it but to think about how angry I am at the family who had forced me out of the home when I have nothing and a family that would abuse me.
Sometimes I think that its just better to stay away from the whole family bc the anger is unbearable and I just have to let it all go. When I'm around the family that has taken me for granted and treated me so horrible it brings back memories that hurts me tremendously and the disappointment makes it so hard for me to grasp for air.

Hi Jenn1fer82,

It is very hard to figure out how to balance the two. I was abused by my brother and verbally by my mother. I came to the point of not having anything to do with my brother, wife and my neice. They hurt me so bad. They usually only seek me when they need something. My brother has also hurt my husband by spreading rumors that he has malested my daughter. Which I know for a fact is not true. My neice has destroyed my daughters self esteem. She now goes to couseling for this and other things.

I can't tell you what to do or how to figure it out. I just decided that the best thing for me was to support and be here for my husband and daughter. They are the ones who matter the most in my life.

Hope you can find a solution to your pain and anger. It is not healthy to carry all that inside. Here for you.

Hello Jennifer,

I can definitely relate to your family situation. My family of origin was VERY toxic. They were VERY emotionally abusive towards me. I put up with it for years because they were "family." After they knocked me down over so many, many years, I went to therapy because of anxiety and depression from it all. In therapy I learned that it was okay to let go of them. I did not have to associate with them and allow the abuse to continue. I have rights as a human being too ! I did not have to allow them to hurt me anymore. I disowned them. My "mother" use to say that I was wrong for disowning her because the bible says honor thy mother. I brought this up to my minister and he told me that it was okay to let go of my family of origin because God would never want me to suffer like this at the hands of them. I finally let go of them and it was sooooooo liberating. I then began to work on me and bring back my self esteem and realizing that I truly am okay as a person. I am a good person and I deserve love and respect.

As far as your sisters, I have a brother that I keep in contact with, so I understand you wanting to keep in touch with them. This is what I did: I told him that I still wanted to be a part of his life and he was still welcome to call or visit me. He would have to come to my house to visit however. I told him that I did not want anything to do with the others in the family, so to please respect my wishes and not talk about them or tell them any of my business. It has worked out great. My brother visits me and we also talk on Facebook. I can still love him, but disown the rest. The key is boundaries.

I hope that I have helped you some. I can not tell you what to do as that is your very personal own decision, but I can tell you what worked for me. I hope this helps !

Kristy

Abuse is never OK. If the price you have to pay to protect yourself is to stay away from them and suffer over the fact you have no family, that may be the direction you have to take.