Blank and low

Hi friends,
My story is i have always believed in luv n sumhow i always been in wrong relationships. I am in a relationship wid a man 4m last 4 yrs on n off. Last year after we broke up he got engaged n few mnths later called it off. Then he somehow got me in the relationship and since then things were pretty good. In fact our relationship was never better. He was attentive, carin, lovin, possessive i was introduced to his cousins, they were teasin me n all. Last time when he really got insecure n we had a fight i told him whats the point goin on since there is no future. On this he said he can see a future 2gthr so we were again growin strong few days back he told me he cant marry me n i shld start considering other options. Me n him are so good 2gther its hard to find this kind of chemistry wid nione else. And i donno wat to do? I get panic attacks, am depressed, low all the time, cry all the time. And though i tried everything i feel like i don have ni hope or enthusiasm about future. Am a very positive person well use to be bt now i just cant. Everything i planned was wid him includin him n now since he is adamant about no future i feel lost. Though he says he loves me a lot he also cried when we talked about it. We do luv each other a lot bt thr is no way out i see, i tried so hard. I cant imagine bein wid someone else. What do i do?

My reply is for your specific situation but also for all the other people who hang their entire existence on one other person. You could have the perfect relationship but if God forbid an accident or illness took your loved one away from you what would you do? Please, please, please develop all the facets of yourself and your life. Get an education, learn some skills (particularly those that can help you support yourself if your partner dies or leaves you) develop some interests and hobbies you can do on your own and some you can do with other, platonic friends. Romantic love is nice but there is a lot more to life than that.

Hi Thanks for ur reply. Thing is i am aware of all this. I did enroll in further studies. Thing is somehow though i was very cautious abt this i got too involved in this. And now i realize tht though bein so confident person I have become low on self esteem, i cant sleep widout pills. If i don take em i get suicidal thoughts i go out to feel better i dont. I find myself angry all the time. I have lost faith in everything somehow. And cant see anything further. What should i do? Any immediate relief answer u have PLease help me.

The first thing I'd do would be to tell whoever prescribed the sleeping pills your new symptoms: constant anger, despair and suicidal thoughts when you don't take the pills.

Hi Aashlin,

I'm sorry to hear you are in pain right now. My heart goes out to you. Can you find a counselor to talk to? Also, you might consider going to the doctor to try antidepressants. Relationship issues are SO hard. Try to do your best to spend a little time alone and not think about this guy. Sounds like you need some YOU time. Try to do some little things that are nice for yourself. Hope you'll keep posting.

E