Im soooo confused!!

K, so long story short, I was a math tutor for a grade nine class when I was in grade 11...which was just last year...

And I started to have feelings for one of the students...

During our math class, while they were suppose to work on their assignments, we would talk to each other, and laugh!! We were like the happiest people in the whole class!! We laughed at everything!! I made him a birthday card, and he remembered my birthday, I told him my bday 3 weeks before my actual bday! I was like awww...

Yeah, he was gonna skip class, so his group members would get something done for their project, because it was basically him doing all the work. He went to a nearby coffeshop with his other friends, but he showed up to class after his friend texted him to come. He told his friends he wouldnt do any of the work...Im convinced that he showed up to class, because of me!! He was gonna nap, but I started to talk to him...So we had our conversation!! Great times!!

Sometimes we say things at the same time, and finish each others sentences, K, correction it was mostly me finishing his sentences...But still...

Although we did have a few arguments, but we managed to work them out...

And it was such a fun class!!

Altho we did disconnect over the summer...and things havent really been the same since last June...

We see each other in the hallway like all the time, and he never talks to me...One time, I was walking to my math class, I am in this hallway, and he is also in this hallway, and he walks home with this girl, and the sad part is I dont even if they are dating, or brother and sister, or step step brother ans sister...Anyways, so he passes that girl, and he was like, "Get to class..." And he didnt even talk to me!! And I couldnt talk to him because I didnt wanna be late for math...Im always late for that class...

While we were in our math class, it was obvious that we both liked each other...And I dont know what happened...

And, so three weeks ago, I saw him walking home, we walk down a street together...And he was with his friends, who just so happen to walk across the street, and he looked behind him, and he saw me, and he just so happened to stop in the middle of the sidewalk as I was walking past him...It looked a little planned out to me...

We talked about our classes and stuff...I was soo nervous I was shaking like a leaf and my knees were shaking...

And it was awesome, because we talked on our 8 month anniversary of knowing each other...

So today I saw him, with that girl...AGAIN!! I was behind him, and he looked back, and he saw me!! And he just basically touched her shoulder...And he knew that I was behind them...I walked home sooo fast!!!

Apart of me wanted to talk to him...But not when his sister, step-sister, girlfriend, whoever she is!! is with him!!

Im confused because I dont know who she is, I dont know if he still likes me, why he isnt talking to me...I just dont know...Its really bothering me that I dont know...

One thing I do is I still like him!! I dont care that hes two years younger than me...

Is there a way I can find out my questions??

Any ideas are appericated!!!

Thanks!!

hmmmmmm..... Do you have any friends that would know him and possibly who the girl is? I would guess its a girlfriend since he wont talk to you when he is with her. That's just an assumption though.

Actually, when I saw him in the hall way they werent together...they passed each other...Although I saw him with her after school, and he didnt talk to me...

Although while I was his math tutor, my crush hung out w/ these guys from the class, and I was always w/ my crush, I was with those people too!

But it would be awkward to ask them, yeah, do you know if hes seeing anyone? Even though we talked in five months...Although I see these people like almost everyday, and they dont even talk to me!! And if they were true friends w/ my crush, and if my crush still liked me, they would most definetly talk to me...

One of his friends in the math class, was being nice to me...This was when it was obvious that we had both liked each other...

And hopefully they arent dating!! I know that sounds bad...but...yeah!!

You're best bet is probably to ask him if he's dating her, although, I agree, I think he is. Next time you get a chance to talk to him alone, just ask him casually if that girl is his girlfriend, and if he wants to know why you're asking just say, "Just curious. I'm always seeing you two together."

They never hold hands tho...Im just finding every reason for them not to dating-I dont wanna admit it!! Im in denial...

Although, throughout the semester, he mentioned that he only two brothers, nothing about having a sister...

And another point is when we talked three weeks ago...

Everything that I said is in pink and everything he said is in green...

Hey!
Hey!
How are you??
Not bad...
(looooong awkward pause)
Im great too!

I waited for him to ask me how I was but I guess he didnt care...

I am a little concerned about his being younger? Once you turn 18, you are an adult, and he could still be a minor? It just seems like there is a stigma, senior girl, sophomore guy, and I would hate to see this negatively affect your last year of high school. I am all for going against social norms, but this might not be the time or place. So he might have liked you back then, but things are just different now. You're an "older woman", and that could be a bigger problem than you are realizing? I could be way off, though.

Yeah I was thinking too...

And there are twenty days where we are only technically 1 year apart, his birthday is in May, twenty days before mine birthday...

And yeah me too...I honestly dont even know anymore...I just wanna talk to him about everything!! I wish we have each others cell phone numbers...So we talk...

I hope I can talk to him today!!

We have like 5 months of catching up to do...

Yeah...

Hello.

I am not sure about the rules in your school or the rules of ethics, but I would try to be his tutor first before his friend.

I used to run a support group face to face and I fell in love with a man there (I was 31) and I had to stop running the group because it didn't work out. And it was interfering with my job there.

I am only sharing my experience.

Some relationships do start out as professional and then evolve to romantic, but when they do, I have heard that it is best to not have a professional relationship AND a romantic one at the same time, so if something does happen, maybe it's best if he had another tutor?

Sounds like a very confusing thing you are going thru.

I am not giving advice, just expressing my thoughts on this.

You can do whatever you need to do; it might be okay.

But I get the feeling it's just tearing you apart and might be almost interfering with the original reason you met him; tutoring.

Also, if he's not talking to you or being elusive about the other girl, I would just stay out of it.

If I were in your place, I would feel extremely awkward about even asking about it. You are his tutor, not his friend.

Just my thoughts.

Billi

maybe this will put things in perspective for you..

a doctor and their patient. the doctor is doing a job ..monitoring the patients health and helping the patient to learn how to take care of their self and teaching the patient how to take care of their health problems...

would it be ethical for this doctor and patient to have a romantic relationship?

of course not right if they did it would affect the job they were doing. and the patient may feel whether or not they say anything or go along with it that its wrong, that they are at fault and so much other things.

ok now teacher and student. a teachers job is to educate the student on the subject at hand, monitor their progress and help them work out any problems with the subject.

would it be ethical for a teacher and student to have a romantic relationship?

of course not right. if they did the teacher would not be able to do their job and being in the same room with this student could be a distraction, embarrassment or what ever regardless of whether the student goes along with it.

ok now your situation. a tutor is a teaching position/ job. your job wasnt to distract this student during class (regardless of who started it you were the teacher and older more responsible one who was responsible for helping this student focus on the school subject and help him to keep or improve his grade)

all students love attention from their teachers and peers. this student of yours may have taken your interest in him as being normal teacher showing kindness and interest in their student. and not taken your interest, jovial (care free and light hearted, fun) attitude as a romantic relationship.

his being with his friends and the girl he likes regardless of whether they held hand is the way a student is supposed to be.

and a teacher should not ethically that is be put out or what ever you want to call it because their student is choosing their peers over the teacher.

you had a job to do. now its time to move on just like your student did.

plus like someone else stated when you turn 18 you will be the adult and he will be a child still. here in the USA there are laws about adults going after children who are minors. sometimes its called custodial interference, sometimes its called stalking, sometimes its called child abuse and worse.

this student of yours has made his choice. he wants to be with his friends not his "teacher" time for you to let him go and leave him alone and if its meant to be he will come to you after he turns 18. once he turns 18 you wont be considered his "teacher" anymore. then the two of you can sit down and decide where you want this to go.

Well, I was his tutor...

Im a student who tutored other students at my school...

And we did have a lot of personal conversations, like family, and other stuff...

I even made him a birthday card, his birthday is in May, and we still had class together...

AND he even remembered my birthday!!!

yea I know its the between a rock and a hard place situation. you are a student and one of his peers in the same classes he is in but yet you were asked to teach him and help him to understand the classwork.

unfortunately the moment you were asked and took the teaching position of being his tutor that sort of elevated you to a higher level of responsibility and put him in the off limits zone for a romantic relationship.

Some day he may think of you as more than his tutor, and want to pursue a more intimate relationship. All you can really do is wait and see. no one can predict the future so all is not lost here.

The tutors, because there was another tutor in that class, Thank goodness there was because, I spent most of my time, hanging with him and his group of friends...

I would circulate around the room and asked other students how they were progressing, just to make it look like I was actually doing something...ask them if they needed help...All the times I asked them if they needed help, they said no...So I just hung out with him, and friends...

We got work done, while we were talking...Great times!!! I loved that class!!!

Now my only chances of talking to him, is if we bump into each other in the hallways...