[OurLadysTears]

Things have gone downhill for me the past two years, but I've managed to keep kicking. Even so, I don't think my lifestyle is all too healthy and I've kept myself pretty isolated. I'm 25 and I know that is still considered young, but I feel behind in life, as many people my age are married and starting a family. It's something I've wanted very badly for a long time, but I keep encountering people who don't want to take commitment (or life/responsibility, for that matter) seriously. The holidays are getting to me. I see my siblings with their significant others and children decorating for the holidays and I have to say I envy them a bit. I'm just lonely, depressed, and ready to settle down. It kind of feels like a lingering empty space following me around. Anyone else feel this way? Not that I wish this feeling on anyone, but I don't want to feel alone in this loneliness!

[dusty9838]

Originally Posted by OurLadysTears

Things have gone downhill for me the past two years, but I've managed to keep kicking. Even so, I don't think my lifestyle is all too healthy and I've kept myself pretty isolated. I'm 25 and I know that is still considered young, but I feel behind in life, as many people my age are married and starting a family. It's something I've wanted very badly for a long time, but I keep encountering people who don't want to take commitment (or life/responsibility, for that matter) seriously. The holidays are getting to me. I see my siblings with their significant others and children decorating for the holidays and I have to say I envy them a bit. I'm just lonely, depressed, and ready to settle down. It kind of feels like a lingering empty space following me around. Anyone else feel this way? Not that I wish this feeling on anyone, but I don't want to feel alone in this loneliness!

EXACTLY how I am feeling. I'm 31 and just lost the one girl who I thought I was goign to spend the rest of my life with and marry and even have children. I'm 31 years old and scared I'm going to live the rest of my life alone. The depression I have been feeling the past few weeks has brought me to the likes of despair I have never felt... see in the past at least I had her to confide in and lean on.. now I have nobody and the pain is unbearable sometimes.

But I still do have hope... I think we all do deep inside. I say just hang in there and take it day by day and realize you're 25 which is still young (I'm trying to convince myself 31 is still young ) I hope you get to feeling better... and with the holidays almost over at least these feelings of loneliness will subside somewhat.. at least things like seeing your siblings with a boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband etc will be less and less (since family gathers during the holidays). I hope you get to feeling better today and know you're not alone. *hug*

[faerie_moon_x]

Well, I say that I feel for you guys and I understand loneliness a lot. But I must warn you that just because you have found someone, are married, and have children.... that doesn't mean you won't be lonely anymore.

I'm going through a major issue in my marriage now and I have never been this lonely before. Things are up and down at the moment. I'm praying they are getting better. But, I'm scared, too. I'm scared my husband is being lured away from me by the idea of "single is better" by people who are single with lots of "friends."

I think you both have a great opportunity. You can work on building up yourselves to be stronger and healthier without having to be concerned about another person or a child. You can work on healing as best you can. And being a healthier you will make it easier to have a healthy relationship when someone special comes along.

It can be so easy to focus only on the negatives of a current situation (I'm sure I'm doing it, too, right now.) So I hope you both feel better and can find a tiny bit of happiness. I have a sticker on my work computer that says "I am the main source of my happiness." It can be hard to believe some days, but I keep it there to remind me.

[dusty9838]

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

Well, I say that I feel for you guys and I understand loneliness a lot. But I must warn you that just because you have found someone, are married, and have children.... that doesn't mean you won't be lonely anymore.

I'm going through a major issue in my marriage now and I have never been this lonely before. Things are up and down at the moment. I'm praying they are getting better. But, I'm scared, too. I'm scared my husband is being lured away from me by the idea of "single is better" by people who are single with lots of "friends."

I think you both have a great opportunity. You can work on building up yourselves to be stronger and healthier without having to be concerned about another person or a child. You can work on healing as best you can. And being a healthier you will make it easier to have a healthy relationship when someone special comes along.

It can be so easy to focus only on the negatives of a current situation (I'm sure I'm doing it, too, right now.) So I hope you both feel better and can find a tiny bit of happiness. I have a sticker on my work computer that says "I am the main source of my happiness." It can be hard to believe some days, but I keep it there to remind me.

Thank you for your kind words dark_heart_x. I guess my current problem is just that it's been recent and the wound is still fresh...

Honestly I never even considered the possibility that she'd leave me so in my mind it is as if the impossible has happened to me and I can't seem to come to terms with that... not right now anyway.

But you're right we should definately be the source of our own happiness and it is something that I am working on everyday. I hope that things work out for your marriage as well... I'm sorry that your husband is thinking about how he'd rather be single but you could look at it as "well if he truly feels that way then maybe he really isn't for me" I'm sure you'll find a guy that would take care of you and want to be with you rather than being single.

Good luck to you and take care.

Originally Posted by OurLadysTears

Things have gone downhill for me the past two years, but I've managed to keep kicking. Even so, I don't think my lifestyle is all too healthy and I've kept myself pretty isolated. I'm 25 and I know that is still considered young, but I feel behind in life, as many people my age are married and starting a family. It's something I've wanted very badly for a long time, but I keep encountering people who don't want to take commitment (or life/responsibility, for that matter) seriously. The holidays are getting to me. I see my siblings with their significant others and children decorating for the holidays and I have to say I envy them a bit. I'm just lonely, depressed, and ready to settle down. It kind of feels like a lingering empty space following me around. Anyone else feel this way? Not that I wish this feeling on anyone, but I don't want to feel alone in this loneliness!

Hi OurLadysTears,
I am in my thirties. I also don't interact as much with other people. However, I am slowly but surely changing this. I believe you can too. I can relate with the longing to find Mr. Right, the loneliness, the sorrow, and the emptiness. Though I realize that I am not ready to enter a relationship of that nature yet. Reading spiritual and inspirational books and walking outdoors have helped me enormously to get out of a major depression and suicidal thoughts.

Each person is unique, and some coping strategies work better for some people than others. I hope that you find something that helps you in the best way possible.

(((( OurLadysTears )))) , (((( dusty9838 )))) , (((( dark_heart_x )))) , I believe in all of us. I believe that we can overcome this loneliness and all its accompanying challenges. Change is part of life, so these challenges are temporary.

[faerie_moon_x]

QUOTE]I'm sorry that your husband is thinking about how he'd rather be single but you could look at it as "well if he truly feels that way then maybe he really isn't for me" I'm sure you'll find a guy that would take care of you and want to be with you rather than being single.
[/QUOTE]
Right now, if that happens (which I'm not sure it will, I think he's just acting this way but won't go anywhere.... I hope he won't....) I don't want another guy. I have learned I am strong enough to take care of myself and my kids even through great adversity.

But healing is important when you lose someone. In a relationship you become part of each other and it is important to regain yourself, and get to know your new self.

I am in my thirties. I also don't interact as much with other people. However, I am slowly but surely changing this.

I used to be very closed off from people unless I already knew them. One way I have worked to change this for me is to practice. When people at the store make chit chat like, "Cold enough for ya?" Instead of mummbling and looking away I answer them. Also at my job I get a lot of practice at this, as I'm the receptionist. I feel much more confident around people. My people anxiety is not as high as it was, that's for sure.

[alwaysbeenbroke]

As I read your posts I think of my sons (32,29,&28). My eldest just got married in October. Two Christmas' ago, he also was alone and facing the holiday's as a single, and was bummed about it, but then in January he looked up into the church choir and saw this cute little redhead...... well by Feburary they started dating, and .... now they are married. All that to say, even 31-32 is not too late and sometimes you just have to wait for the best things. The other boys have girls at present, but the 28 y/o just started seeing his gal a couple of months ago, before that he was pretty bummed out on being single. I used to wish that the boys would have found someone earlier, cause I hated to think of them being lonely, but as I watch them now, they are better equiped to be a partner to a gal. I believe their relationships have a better chance to be long term and positive ones because they are more mature and more established in their own lives before they bring someone else into the mix.

I would council to spend your "single" time learning about yourself and being the best you. Good Luck. ((hugs))

[OurLadysTears]

All of you are amazing! Lonely people must unite for the holidays! I definitely feel better from everyone's responses. I hate that lingering lonely feeling, but having this forum makes me feel much less alone.

[beauflow]

Everyone- I use to think I would never find some one-- I stopped looking, then pop- the co-worker I had been working with for 2 years - we were so similar in ways, thoughts, and morals- we talked more- he made me so happy and laugh so much a lot-and still does.

There are some days I wish that when I was 15 I met someone (it is the time i think that gets me- i feel i don't have enough time), but ya know i am happy that I met some one at 22.. I tend to like to believe that since I was older, I knew myself a little more (though I am still lost at times) and that we will have a longer relationship.. that we are adults- even if we act like kids some times, the years do add to sticking and understanding and communication and less turmoil.

I am 25 right now- I like OurLadyTears have several friends with kids, are married (some happy and some that I am amazed they still "work it out" or I think my friend could do so much better and don't understand why they take the abuse) and even a few that are already divorced.... I differ though (of course with the obvious that i just wrote above), I don't want the kids for fears, I do want a companion though- which I have found-- though always have doubts of where it is going, him leaving and so forth---

Also, you would think that being with someone I would be more in the festive spirit but I am not- I still feel lost and alone at times, even at times "on my own" stuff still-- IDK if that will pass.

I wish you all well and hope you all good luck and I love what you put OurLadyTears:

"Lonely people must unite for the holidays! "

that just makes me smile so much-- Ya know you may not have a b/g friend or a spouse but you surely could always have friends- even if it is just for a day or a time of the year

[SophiaG]

there are lots of lonely people at alonelylife.com

Originally Posted by dark_heart_x

QUOTE]I'm sorry that your husband is thinking about how he'd rather be single but you could look at it as "well if he truly feels that way then maybe he really isn't for me" I'm sure you'll find a guy that would take care of you and want to be with you rather than being single.

Right now, if that happens (which I'm not sure it will, I think he's just acting this way but won't go anywhere.... I hope he won't....) I don't want another guy. I have learned I am strong enough to take care of myself and my kids even through great adversity.

But healing is important when you lose someone. In a relationship you become part of each other and it is important to regain yourself, and get to know your new self.

I used to be very closed off from people unless I already knew them. One way I have worked to change this for me is to practice. When people at the store make chit chat like, "Cold enough for ya?" Instead of mummbling and looking away I answer them. Also at my job I get a lot of practice at this, as I'm the receptionist. I feel much more confident around people. My people anxiety is not as high as it was, that's for sure.[/quote]

Whatever happens, I wish you all the best, dark_heart_x.

Thank you for your suggestions. It is easier to succeed in any goal if one starts with small sub-goals first.

Originally Posted by alwaysbeenbroke

As I read your posts I think of my sons (32,29,&28). My eldest just got married in October. Two Christmas' ago, he also was alone and facing the holiday's as a single, and was bummed about it, but then in January he looked up into the church choir and saw this cute little redhead...... well by Feburary they started dating, and .... now they are married. All that to say, even 31-32 is not too late and sometimes you just have to wait for the best things. The other boys have girls at present, but the 28 y/o just started seeing his gal a couple of months ago, before that he was pretty bummed out on being single. I used to wish that the boys would have found someone earlier, cause I hated to think of them being lonely, but as I watch them now, they are better equiped to be a partner to a gal. I believe their relationships have a better chance to be long term and positive ones because they are more mature and more established in their own lives before they bring someone else into the mix.

I would council to spend your "single" time learning about yourself and being the best you. Good Luck. ((hugs))

Thank you for sharing about your sons' experiences with feeling bummed out about being single. I am so happy for your youngest and eldest sons. Thanks for your advice.

[Flint-chess]

Hi I'm 15 and I have been in a relation ship for a little over 6 months now to a girl of whome I love dearly. Now I know that I am young and a lot say that I am too young to know what love is and that may be so but that is besides the point of this conversation. I have been with this girl and since the beginning of school (September) I have had these strange feelings of loneliness and I don't know what has causesd them. I also have been experiencing strang episodes where I feel that something within the relationship is wrong yet ever thing going right. I don't know how to exposing what's wrong because I dont really know what is wrong can anyone help me?

I'm 26, and I feel your pain. Every holiday season, especially, I feel unfulfilled and unloved and just long for someone to share these occasions with - to share life with. Be part of a happy family.
Best of luck to you all in finding what you're looking for