[sometimes]

I wanted to tell a story and see what you all thought.

The other night i went out with some friends. I was flirting with about three guys that night, but i didn't kiss anyone. Afterwards, some of us went to this guy's house. I cuddled up to him on the couch and started running my hands all over him. He didn't reciprocate but he wasn't uncomfortable with it. I initiated it. Except, he didn't want to kiss me. So the next day or so i send him a message that says i really like him, i may have worded it like "i have feelings for you" i didn't ask him out but i said i wanted to spend some more time with him, maybe i said to get to know him better. He never replies. Next day i find out he has a girlfriend.

I am taking it that is why he didn't want to kiss me, and why he didn't reply.

I am still interested in him and i would love him to break up with his girlfriend so we can be more intimate but i can't tell him that can i?

I don't know exactly how he feels. I did ask him directly that but like i said, got no response.

What do you think? Have i done something wrong? What should i do now?

[LMo]

I think that you've done everything you can short of begging. By now, he knows that you're interested. If he becomes available in the future, if he is also interested, he will undoubtedly contact you. I can't speak for him, but if I were in his shoes, I'd be turned off by any further solicitation. If he wanted you to pursue him, he would have shown it by now.

That's just my opinion. I prefer things to progress with mutual interest, with less force than you've shown.

[sometimes]

i think you're right. I shouldn't be forceful. There are other people i like as well. I have given him enough information about my feelings for him to make a choice. He may not have made one yet, but he will. "The ball is in his court" Men like it like that anyway. And, true, it is nice to share, and nice to both have a go at putting in. Rather than having something just "fall in your lap". Thanks LMO. I was thinking of turning up at his house, or asking if i can come over. Your advice has made me change my mind. Thankyou

[sometimes]

To update you, i sent him a message that said "I just found out you have a girlfriend. In regards to us, i have told you how i feel. The ball is in your court now."

Nice touch wasn't it?

Cheerio,

Sometimes

[FelineHeart]

You did the right thing by letting him know that you now know about is girlfriend. Please remember that you are young(I assume) and there are plenty of fish in the sea for you Please keep us posted.

[Rhapsody]

Sorry but I would have to advice YOU to walk the other way.... he cant be any good for you if he has a girlfriend and then he let another person touch all over him. Just think about he would (or might) do you if you two were to get together?

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[sometimes]

Yes, i am 21 and there are more fish in the sea.

I was initially hurt that he would let me do that to him. Then i thought, maybe he is not really happy in his relationship. Maybe she doesn't give him enough love and attention, if when he gets the chance for it he goes for it. Remember, he drew the line at kissing. He didn't want to cheat or to hurt me.

[Rhapsody]

Hmm - not for sure about that ideal.... for in my book touching is cheating if you are already with, committed to, someone.... to me it sounds as though he was out for a sexual thrill.
If I were you I would go fish in another pond - one with better fish in it, with morals and values for the other person they are sharing their life with.

Take - care.... loves.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[sometimes]

Perhaps you are right. Thankyou for your advice.

It all depends on what you think constitutes cheating and if there is ever a moment when it is acceptable. It also depends on how many chances you choose to give your friends etc. so they can change their minds about what the right thing is.

I think the fact that i INITiATED the cuddling, meant that this guy said to himself, i'm not doing this, i will not be to blame, it is not my responsibility to do anything about this.

I think it is a rather weak thing to do, indicated a weak committment to his girlfriend, coupled with a strong feeling for me, i think.

We'll just see what happens. I don't see permanency in our relationship, just fun.

Regards, Sometimes

[LMo]

or, he just didn't know how to handle it or is uncomfortable with confrontation...

[sometimes]

Yes true. Didn't want to offend me...

[sometimes]

A further thought here, the guy who told me he had a girlfriend has been interested in me too. I think he doesn't have a girlfriend, rather, this guy was just jealous and wanted to put me off. Bastard!

[LMo]

omg - you're still thinking about this!?!

[sometimes]

Yeah- only because i'm wondering whether i want to stay in contact with the guy who is jealous, and i think not. *giggle* (Sometimes we can think about things long after they are an immediate issue) It helps me learn about myself.

Big up!

Sometimes

[LMo]

heh...