[buckboy3006]

i come from a family with a verbally abusive father and she is adopted so it is understandable that we are detached to some degree but she confueses the mess out of me i am her first serious boyfriend, she is introducing me to family and friends, talking about marriage and kids and living together and even was going to give up her dream so we could stay together but heres where things get sketchy, she will go days without talking to me, (usually about 3 days.) and then she will talk to me out of the blue ans act like everything is fine. she doesnt do this very often, usually when she is having issues with her family but when she does it always worries me. ill see that she is updating her facebook from her phone so i know she is getting my messages, just not responding. thats where im confused, if someone obviously means that much to you why wouldnt you talk to them? i know shes got alot going on in her life right now (our senior year, grandfather has cancer, family issues etc) ive talked to her about it before and she said she doesnt mean to ignore me its just that when she gets a chance to talk she forgets to reply to whatever form of communication i used, which i understand because im the same way, but it always seems like she has time for her friends. i dont know what to make of it, i know i mean the world to her but why does she do that?

[chipperdear]

Originally Posted by buckboy3006

i come from a family with a verbally abusive father and she is adopted so it is understandable that we are detached to some degree but she confueses the mess out of me i am her first serious boyfriend, she is introducing me to family and friends, talking about marriage and kids and living together and even was going to give up her dream so we could stay together but heres where things get sketchy, she will go days without talking to me, (usually about 3 days.) and then she will talk to me out of the blue ans act like everything is fine. she doesnt do this very often, usually when she is having issues with her family but when she does it always worries me. ill see that she is updating her facebook from her phone so i know she is getting my messages, just not responding. thats where im confused, if someone obviously means that much to you why wouldnt you talk to them? i know shes got alot going on in her life right now (our senior year, grandfather has cancer, family issues etc) ive talked to her about it before and she said she doesnt mean to ignore me its just that when she gets a chance to talk she forgets to reply to whatever form of communication i used, which i understand because im the same way, but it always seems like she has time for her friends. i dont know what to make of it, i know i mean the world to her but why does she do that?

I know sometimes I get like that. You say you mean the world to her, so maybe she feels like you will be there for her no matter what, so she focuses her attention on other relationships/issues that need more "immediate" attention? Like when you're in school, you put more effort into the harder subjects than the easy ones because the easy ones aren't as demanding. That's usually what happens with me. Just an idea though, everyone is different. I hope you two can work through it! Good luck!

[buckboy3006]

that makes sense but why just completely ignore me? i mean i could understand not talking for a little bit and then saying hey sorry i was with some friends or i had to deal with a family thing but she doesnt even do that. i wont hear from her and when i eventually do she just acts like everything is fine and doesnt even give me a reason why she didnt talk to me. i talked to her last night and i said that i was fine not being her first priority but everyone is telling me that i deserve better and things like that and it was really taking its toll on me and she said "well lemme kick their ***** and then they can talk about priority haha" so i know doesnt mean anything by this but what can i do? i dont mind waiting on her but im afraid that we are/going to drift apart even though she assures me that wont happen. she says that just because we dont talk doesnt mean that shes not thinking about me or worrying about my safety. (i know this is true becasue once we went a week without talking and when we finally did she showed me a shirt she bought and it was my favorite football team and she didnt talk to me a few days before christmas and she eventually gave me my presents which was a tool bag considering i love tools and a fox racing hat because she knows how much i support her motocross racing) so i know she still loves me and only has my well being in mind but why do this? i always assumed that she just didnt want to take her frustration from her family out on me and that why she did this but i honestly dont know anymore.

[buckboy3006]

that makes sense but why just completely ignore me? i mean if she didnt talk to me for a few days and then said hey sorry i havent talked to you lately i had some family stuff or i was out with friends i could understand. but she doesnt even do that. she wont talk to me and ill eventually get her to talk to me and she will act like everything is fine and not even give me a reason why she didnt talk, i just always assume that she didnt want to take her frustration out on me. ive talked to her about this before and she said "just because we arent talking doesnt mean im not thinking about you, talking about you to family and friends, or worrying about your safety" (i tend to be a bit of an adrenaline junkie baha) and i know this is true because i bought her a ring for her birthday and her friends told me how she wouldnt stop showing it off and we once didnt talk for a week, when we finally did she showed me a shirt that she bought to sleep in which was my favorite football team, heck even her sister told me a conversation she had with her about marrying me. so i know shes not cheating or planning on leaving me. she once told me that she gets depressed alot and likes to shut the world out and i understand that completely but is it common to just ignore the one you love for 3 or more days at a time?

[buckboy3006]

(sorry if ive posted the same thing multiple times, my computer is showing that it isnt being posted)
that makes a lot of sense but why just completely ignore me? i mean if she would go a few days without talking to me and say hey sorry i didnt talk to you, i was with friend or i had to deal with a family issue i would completely understand but she doesnt even do that. she wont talk to me and when i finally get her to talk to me she just act like everything is fine and dandy, and i never ask her why because i always assume that she just didnt want to take her frustration from her life out on me or that she didnt want to talk because she told me once that she sometimes gets depressed and shuts the world out. ive talked to her about this before and she said "just because we arent able to talk doesnt mean that im not thinking about you, talking about you or worrying about you."(i tend to be an adrenaline junkie bahaha) which i know is true because of things she does, for example we didnt talk for a few weeks because she was grounded before christmas but on christmas she asked if she could see me and surprised me with a tool bag because i had recently said that i wished i could organize my tools better and she didnt talk to me for a few days and then told me she bought a shirt to sleep in and it was a shirt of my favorite football team, she randomly posts "i love you"s on my facebook wall even though we havent talked in a few days. so i know shes not going anywhere or cheating. but why doesnt she just let me know SOMETHING? anything? just at least make an effort to talk to me instead of me always having to try and figure out whats going on?

[Irreplaceable]

I don't care what she has going on in her life/family, if she wanted to talk to you, I mean REALLY wanted to talk to you, she would call or answer your texts...Point blank period...It's disrespectful to me...The whole not answering your texts or calls...If you are my man, I want to talk to you every day...To see how your day was and just to talk...Couples should talk everyday....

[buckboy3006]

well if she gets a chance she does talk to me, like about 2 weeks ago i didnt hear from her all day and then around 9 at night she said that she was at the hospital all day with her grandfather who has cancer, that was one of the very very few times she tells me whats going on and she wanted to talk to me for comfort. and honestly dont agree with that, couples dont have to talk everyday, as the old saying goes "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and i believe that to be true. if you talk everyday you risk smothering each other. but thats just my opinion. no offense to you.