I feel bad because I thought I had friends who turned out not to be friends after all. Why do people say they will be there for you and make you feel that you can get close to them and then hurt you? I have become so guarded and mistrustful, I am so tired of being hurt, ignored, and neglected when all I want to do is be a true friend. I don't impose on anyone, I am a loyal friend and a good person, so why do I get hurt? Is it better to be guarded and a loner? I never thought so, but now I am starting to wonder. I feel like not letting people get close to me ever again. I just don't understand.

I feel bad because I thought I had friends who turned out not to be friends after all. Why do people say they will be there for you and make you feel that you can get close to them and then hurt you? I have become so guarded and mistrustful, I am so tired of being hurt, ignored, and neglected when all I want to do is be a true friend. I don't impose on anyone, I am a loyal friend and a good person, so why do I get hurt? Is it better to be guarded and a loner? I never thought so, but now I am starting to wonder. I feel like not letting people get close to me ever again. I just don't understand.

[adeline]

I'm sorry to hear about your friends' betrayal... I understand how hard it is to open up to people, and how devastating it is when they don't help or accept you.

I don't think it's about you, I think it's about them. Some people are just inconsiderate and hurtful friends (or romantic partners) and when given the choice to be with them or alone, I'd say it's healthier for you to be alone.

However, there are other people out there who are genuinely nice and caring (I know, sometimes it seems like they're hiding ). Maybe you're not around these types of people enough to get to know them, or maybe it's harder to approach these people (maybe you don't feel deserving of a higher level of respect)?

These are all just ideas from my experience, so I hope I don't come off as being judgmental of your situation... you've been very brave to open yourself up. I really hope you can somehow use this as a learning experience, rather than let it defeat you. You may be hurt again if you try, but you'll certainly be hurt if you give up.

Hope you feel better soon!
Jessie

[adeline]

I'm sorry to hear about your friends' betrayal... I understand how hard it is to open up to people, and how devastating it is when they don't help or accept you.

I don't think it's about you, I think it's about them. Some people are just inconsiderate and hurtful friends (or romantic partners) and when given the choice to be with them or alone, I'd say it's healthier for you to be alone.

However, there are other people out there who are genuinely nice and caring (I know, sometimes it seems like they're hiding ). Maybe you're not around these types of people enough to get to know them, or maybe it's harder to approach these people (maybe you don't feel deserving of a higher level of respect)?

These are all just ideas from my experience, so I hope I don't come off as being judgmental of your situation... you've been very brave to open yourself up. I really hope you can somehow use this as a learning experience, rather than let it defeat you. You may be hurt again if you try, but you'll certainly be hurt if you give up.

Hope you feel better soon!
Jessie

Thankyou Jessie, for your kind words. I appreciate everything you had to say. I guess I was just feeling bad because these are people I have known for many years, some since childhood, and when they found out I have been hospitalized in the past for depression/anxiety, they shunned me and would even make remarks, for example if we were out in public and we were acting silly, and I said something funny they would laugh but then say loudly ,"Don't worry folks, she just forgot to take her medication today". I don't know if they meant it in a hurtful way, but what other way could I take it? I guess I have stayed friends with these people out of habit, even though we have drifted apart somewhat as far as our interests and such. I emailed a friend whom I haven't seen in a couple of years and he sent me a really nice email back. He said "Sometimes you have to clear the dead wood from the forest to keep things healthy and beautiful." He told me to let go of the past and of people who are false friends. It's hard, but I have a wonderful fiance who supports me and loves me unconditionally, and a fantastic teenage son and a great mom, so I am counting my blessings and just clearing the forest, so to speak. I think we can all benefit from that saying about clearing the dead wood from the forest to keep things healthy and beautiful. Anyway, thanks for hearing me out. Take care!

Sujin

Thankyou Jessie, for your kind words. I appreciate everything you had to say. I guess I was just feeling bad because these are people I have known for many years, some since childhood, and when they found out I have been hospitalized in the past for depression/anxiety, they shunned me and would even make remarks, for example if we were out in public and we were acting silly, and I said something funny they would laugh but then say loudly ,"Don't worry folks, she just forgot to take her medication today". I don't know if they meant it in a hurtful way, but what other way could I take it? I guess I have stayed friends with these people out of habit, even though we have drifted apart somewhat as far as our interests and such. I emailed a friend whom I haven't seen in a couple of years and he sent me a really nice email back. He said "Sometimes you have to clear the dead wood from the forest to keep things healthy and beautiful." He told me to let go of the past and of people who are false friends. It's hard, but I have a wonderful fiance who supports me and loves me unconditionally, and a fantastic teenage son and a great mom, so I am counting my blessings and just clearing the forest, so to speak. I think we can all benefit from that saying about clearing the dead wood from the forest to keep things healthy and beautiful. Anyway, thanks for hearing me out. Take care!

Sujin

[dottie]

[dottie]