How do you have a relationship with an alcoholic Father?

What type of relationship should I have with my father? He's a man that I don't know how to trust. The first thing that comes to my mind when I think about my father is his alcoholism and his anger. Many times he's disappointed and hurt me emotionally and physically. Am I supposed to let my guard down and love this man or am I supposed to be resentful and angry with him. There's been times when I've had my hopes high and believing that he's a changed man but he's let me down so many times. I've tried to get to know him as a man but his drunkenness continues to blind him and his judgment and it has hurt me so many times. I don't know how to identify my boundaries with him.

What type of relationship should I have with my father? He's a man that I don't know how to trust. The first thing that comes to my mind when I think about my father is his alcoholism and his anger. Many times he's disappointed and hurt me emotionally and physically. Am I supposed to let my guard down and love this man or am I supposed to be resentful and angry with him. There's been times when I've had my hopes high and believing that he's a changed man but he's let me down so many times. I've tried to get to know him as a man but his drunkenness continues to blind him and his judgment and it has hurt me so many times. I don't know how to identify my boundaries with him.

I suggest children of alcoholics as a start and for me living with an alcoholic was always waiting for the next shoe to fall. No one can tell you how to have a relationship with him...that is why I suggested adult children of alcoholics or at least al anon

I suggest children of alcoholics as a start and for me living with an alcoholic was always waiting for the next shoe to fall. No one can tell you how to have a relationship with him...that is why I suggested adult children of alcoholics or at least al anon

Jenn,

I am in the same boat as you are, and it really stinks. I dont know how old you are, i am 16 years old and its really hard because my parents are divorced, and having problems at home makes me forced to go to his house and see him. heh. it really suckkss big time. :[

Maybe try talking to him?? I talked to my father about his anger and drinking this weekend, and the way he acts in general. He DID get very angry of course, and was being manipulative with me which is not good. Afterwards, he came to me this week when he was picking us up for a visit and said, "I'm sorry for what happened over the weekend."

It DID help, it got a lot off my chest believe it or not even though he wasnt the nicest person at the moment. I recommend you strongly too talk with your therapist, or a friend. They can always give good advice to you, believe it or not. :]

Hang in there, i know how it feels. Especially when drunks get angry and physical. heh. DO NOT hesitate to email me, PM me or AIM me. I'd be glad to talk to you anytime and try to help you with whatever issues your having. :]

take care and hang in there !!!

deb*

Jenn,

I am in the same boat as you are, and it really stinks. I dont know how old you are, i am 16 years old and its really hard because my parents are divorced, and having problems at home makes me forced to go to his house and see him. heh. it really suckkss big time. :[

Maybe try talking to him?? I talked to my father about his anger and drinking this weekend, and the way he acts in general. He DID get very angry of course, and was being manipulative with me which is not good. Afterwards, he came to me this week when he was picking us up for a visit and said, "I'm sorry for what happened over the weekend."

It DID help, it got a lot off my chest believe it or not even though he wasnt the nicest person at the moment. I recommend you strongly too talk with your therapist, or a friend. They can always give good advice to you, believe it or not. :]

Hang in there, i know how it feels. Especially when drunks get angry and physical. heh. DO NOT hesitate to email me, PM me or AIM me. I'd be glad to talk to you anytime and try to help you with whatever issues your having. :]

take care and hang in there !!!

deb*

Helped me to read most everything I could find on adult children of alcoholics, 12 step meetings I agree can be helpful too.

I would never tell you how you "should" feel. Your feelings are your own, you have the right to your feelings, your feelings are okay.

Reading, lots of good therapy, and keeping a journal works for me, to sort out my emotions and figure out boundaries.

I've had to stay away from my alcoholic father. At least for now, I do much better that way.

Helped me to read most everything I could find on adult children of alcoholics, 12 step meetings I agree can be helpful too.

I would never tell you how you "should" feel. Your feelings are your own, you have the right to your feelings, your feelings are okay.

Reading, lots of good therapy, and keeping a journal works for me, to sort out my emotions and figure out boundaries.

I've had to stay away from my alcoholic father. At least for now, I do much better that way.