[_Neen_]

I feel like I am. I can't quite put my finger on it. I don't know if I've always felt this way and was just smitten or blinded by the thought of losing him. I'm not sure if it's just this deployment and the distance between us. It might even be the different experiences we're not having together. I don't know. What I do know is that I have this terrible thought that creeps into my head... "I don't love him anymore...". I tried to talk to him about it tonight, but I couldn't just come out and say it. I beat around the bush for nearly an hour. Why can't I just say what I'm feeling and not worry about the consequences of how he's going to react? Why do I always evade the real point I'm trying to make to him (no matter what it is)? Why can't I just speak?

But most of all...

Why am I feeling this way?

[bebop]

maybe because you care deeply for him and don't want to hurt him? just a thought

[SeptemberMorn]

Being "in love" is just a feeling that passes as we get to know the object of our affections. "Loving" someone is a commitment and an act of will.

Maybe you were "infatuated" rather than being "in love." Both are niffty feelings, but that's all they are.

[Fuzzybear]

because you care about him and aren't only thinking of yourself?

[dottie]

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It might even be the different experiences we're not having together

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

This is a huge factor with couples growing apart.

Sorry you are going thru this. It is so very painful..and awkward feeling.

[EJ711]

Janine -

Are you talking about a boyfriend or husband? Has he seen any combat duty?

I think separation makes it very hard to maintain a relationship.

I was married to a Vietnam Veteran before anyone knew that it could be dangerous to your health.

If he has been in any combat, I would be careful about telling him you don't love him anymore.

Feel free to PM me.

Hugs,

EJ

[_Neen_]

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"Loving" someone is a commitment and an act of will.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Wow. That's hitting the nail on the head. I've been pondering that for the last few minutes... it's the gospel truth. Thank you for those words.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Janine -

Are you talking about a boyfriend or husband? Has he seen any combat duty?

I think separation makes it very hard to maintain a relationship.

I was married to a Vietnam Veteran before anyone knew that it could be dangerous to your health.

If he has been in any combat, I would be careful about telling him you don't love him anymore.

Feel free to PM me.

Hugs,

EJ

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I'm speaking of my husband. This is his second go-round in Iraq. We weren't together for the first one, but he had some pretty horrifying experiences then. This time he's nice and safe and in no way in combat.

It's not that I don't love him anymore, it's that sometimes I feel out of love with him (or out of infatuation, however you classify the feeling). I just hear that nasty voice in my head that bothers me. The separation certainly is a factor, likey the biggest one. I still despise that being with him is the exception rather than the rule. I don't know... Am I freaking out over nothing?