He still has his profile up

I've been seeing a guy that I met online for a few weeks. From the start he said he wanted a relationship. I regret skipping with him too soon. Now I don't know what to do. Now I've really screwed it up. He asked me to be exclusive like only second time. I wasn't sure. He seems to just want me to cone over and sleep over. I wanted more than that. What should I do? He also still has his profile up. When I suggested doing non sexual things, he told me he was I'll. He was also texting someone last time. I don't have a good relationship history and It makes me paranoid. We had a fight. He said he doesn't wait and waiting is dumb. He attacked me coz he said he can't read me. Well I can't read him either.

He's playing you. Don't automatically believe "I want a relationship," because some men will say that just to get in your pants. This guy, I wouldn't trust him as far as I can throw an elephant. Forget him, don't ever talk to him again (unless you wish to tell him it's over) and don't stop looking until you find the man who will treat you with the respect you deserve. Don't settle for mere sex, if you're looking for love.

It can be done. I met my husband online.

Thankyou but what doni say to him? He probably will contact me

Should I continue looking? I haven't since this has happened. Should I just say how I feel?

Well, it depends on what you feel comfortable with. I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you what I would do if it was me. I'd just dump him. If he contacts me, I'd simply say not to contact me again. You really don't owe him much more than "I'm not interested." He might make a half-hearted attempt to keep you with him, if he doesn't already have someone else waiting in the wings. But make no mistake, he doesn't care about you, and he will simply move on until he finds someone willing to put out and shut up, so he can have his cake and eat it too. By asking you to be exclusive, he means he wants YOU to be exclusive with HIM, while he does what he wants.

My husband and I both took down our profiles when we knew it was going to work between us. The fact that his is still up tells me you mean nothing to him. I've been down that road myself. When a man you're having sex with says, "I keep my options open," the translation is, "I'm having sex with other women too, and if you problem with that, I'm going to call you a jealous, possessive, psycho b--ch." At least, that was my experience.

And of course, keep looking until you find your guy. IMO this one isn't him.

Sounds to me like a classic player at work here. If you are together then why is his profile up? He's using you

I agree. No doubt he's a player. I'd simply explain it's over and I'd go for the No Contact Rule. I don't think you're being paranoid at all. Because of your history, you're thinking things through and being careful.

I think the guy is a player too like everyone said, and if you are paranoid and your gut is telling you something just go with it! Usually gut instincts about people are usually right. Just tell him that you are looking for different things. That's the nice way out. If I was bold, I would tell him that his reasoning for having sex was childish and made you feel pressured. Which in fact it is. Waiting is stupid? Is he for real?

I also agree with lovebirdsflying, I met my guy online too, so there are good ones out there not those that want to keep you while they are out looking for more tail. The profile being up while he wants to be exclusive with you, is the hint. You aren't paranoid. Like I said, go with your gut and follow your instincts.

Good luck!

I say to just put your profile back up and start dating other guys. You don't owe this guy an explanation, and he'll get the message when he sees your profile back up. If he does contact you again, just say "Hey, thanks for calling, but I'm really not interested. I'm looking for a relationship and think we're just in different places." He'll probably try to convince you that he too is looking for something real but just politely say that you're no longer interested and move on. Just try to learn from this mistake and do things differently with the next guy. Believe me, the guy who is right for you will not push you to move too quickly and, when it does happen, he'll be asking you to take your profile down!

If he says "he doesn't wait and waiting is dumb" then you say, "Goodbye." This guy has bad news written all over him! This is the time to turn on your heels and run the other way.

Hes just playing with you. I went out with a guy for 8 months and he was such a big player. Its not worth it.. ur going to get hurt.

If a guy told me that "waiting is dumb", then that would be his last words. Kick him to the curb, coz next he might say STD's are a myth and babies are brought by the stork! Sex does not an exclusive relationship make, and that's clearly all he wants. You deserve better. Take care.XOXO

I really wish I had done that instead. I didn't want to be on this position at all.

I am angry at myself more than anything.

I mean whenever this happens guys always turn it against us no matter what. If we want an exclusive relationship than where "needy" or "desperate" or something.

What did you do if you don't mind me asking? You sound like you're beating yourself up. Let it out girl. We are here to listen

Don't mean to but in.....But.....Your turn! Kick him to the curb with your highest heels and turn it against him! A real guy will not think you are needy just cause you want exclusive relationship. Let him know that he wasn't that good and you are gone! Win some lose some. You can do better. Don't sell your self short you deserve better! Sorry just some ol' ladies opinion that has been there done that!

I totally agree with gma45! You don't need that at all. And don't worry girl you're not butting in at all! We are all here trying to give advice. It just sounds like she is beating herself up about something, and I am just wondering what is all. Gothgirl, don't feel like you did anything wrong. You didn't. He was trying to make you feel guilty, and the worst thing in the world is to make him succeed! No need to make excuses for him or make yourself feel bad, he is totally not worth it

Where the OP says, "skipping" with him, I take that as an autocorrect for "sleeping." If this is the case, then please know, you didn't commit a crime. You only made a mistake. You don't need to kick yourself for it. Just learn from it, and go on. He was the one who lured you into a trap. Your intentions were good, his were selfish. No need to think lowly of yourself, because many of us get played like that from time to time.

Yeah iPhone error. I meant sleeping

Hi Gothgirl7,

I just recently had and posted about a similar experience:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=228124

I have encountered this so many times with online dating now that if the person is not specifically there for a long-term relationship and/or is seeing other people at the same time as me, I generally regard it as someone who likes to date around and I just don't feel secure enough to invest time in someone knowing that they are seeing someone else. I say, you see someone and see what happens, and if it doesn't work out then you move on. I personally don't understand seeing multiple people at once. I think it does more to take away from a potential budding relationship than contribute to it, because you are dividing attention. That, and there's the whole guesswork thing ("How many other people is s/he seeing? How serious are they? Is she just hanging around until something better comes along?")...which I just can't do. Perhaps that could be seen as a 'weakness', but I know myself well enough to know I won't tolerate it. But that is what is promoted in culture these days, so people follow it. It seems to work for many people, but it doesn't work for me, so I don't cater to it. I believe in staying true to my beliefs, doing what feels right, and being open and honest about that, and if others' style is just too different...then the next one can have them. Supposedly, there is someone out there for everyone. But don't take my word for it. I'm still single and waiting...

And apparently this is pretty common dating via online.

I'd be concerned that his profile is still up but explain why it bothers you before making a final decision. My BF was new to the online scene and I don't think he'd given much thought to the 'when does one go exclusive' question. Some guys are adamant on "once sex is involved". That's how I am. But my guy really hadn't thought about it. His first reaction was that having sex does not determine exclusivity. So after I walked him down the path of what could happen, he agreed with me. I said stuff like:
"What happens if you have sex with one girl, then meet another and like her too and want to sleep with her? What will you tell her? What will you tell the first one if you go ahead and sleep with the second one? How are they both going to feel? Is the first one just in your hip pocket as you keep looking? How would you feel?"

So...I suggest you have the discussion if you haven't already. And make sure you ask him if he's monogamous. If he's not and you are, you know what to do.

My bigger concern is the comment "Waiting is stupid". Sounds like he pressured you into having sex. Sounds like a lack of maturity or he just doesn't know any better because nobody's called him out on it. Or maybe it was just a dumbass comment when he was drunk and horny. But I would calmly and non-judgementally explain how all this makes you feel and see how he responds. If he is defensive, stonewalls or makes you feel bad about it, move on. If he is apologetic and sympathetic then OK, give him a chance. But the profile has to come down or he's just not sincere.

Thanks. Also ironically If i do become exclusive I am scared I'd being screwed over by someone, considering I was dumped really cruelly by my ex.

I often really feel like giving up and getting like 50 cats or something.