[SeptemberMorn]

Jerry was around yesterday for a while, took more of his big stuff then hung out to use the Internet. My "child" knew today something "different" was supposed to happen so I asked him if he would consider taking Amber and I to the beach today. He said "Sure! Sounds good."

He calls me at noon and says he'll be over as soon as he eats something. He was supposed to be HERE at noon. Ok... I wasn't in any big hurry to get dressed.

He gets here, does more of HIS stuff, like some dirty dishes he brought out of the RV, brings in a satchel of stuff he says he need ME to help him sort (just sheets that should have been thrown away a long time ago. Like he couldn't do it by himself?????????) and he did something else outside. Don't know what it was.

I told him I wanted to go before there was less then just a couple hours of daylight left. He was ready to go then. We got our jackets and the camera and we left. We drove past the two different campgrounds, we stopped and he took Amber down to the water and tried to get her to run, but she was more interested at staring into the distance, as usual. He tried to get her to play with a tennis ball, but she wasn't interested in that, either. We turned around and DROVE THROUGH the two campgrounds and came home. Several times I said, "Oh, what a beautiful little spot!" He drove on BUT he stopped at the gate to find out how much an overnight stay would be and if there were hookups... for himself!

I DON'T GET IT!!! Would anyone else here have thought that you were going to spend SOME time there... or is it just me??

Like I said. Just call me STUPID for even having had the thought!

[bebop]

is he trying to worm his way back in hon?

[SeptemberMorn]

LOL By disappointing me like he did today? Harldy, Bebop! He does try to get as much out of me as he can except food and sleeping quarters. I have NO problem telling him where to get off. It's ME that I'm having a problem with, thinking that he's "Normal," ya know?? Like my expectations of going to the beach today.

[sujunew]

I guess that's where I've been lucky- ex didn't really take anything at all (altho I know he's entitiled to 1/2...hope things don't turn too messy) as everyone round him helped him out and gave him stuff, right down to cutlery and salt and pepper shakers. He took a few ornamnens and photos, a couple which I really miss i.e. the giant photo of the 2 girls, and I don't know for sure on the 'ownership' of one ornament...he said g'ma gave it to him but I dispute that... My advise to you on getting together to do stuff together is don't- from my Sat experience. No2 became hysterical for her sis, i phoned and they were shopping. I asked if i could meet them, as no2 was soo hysterical. Met them, then was invited to tea. Wat gets me sooooooooo mad now is that he has told cps that i was not invited for tea...like i would have gone otherwise... he asked me before he got the sausages, like i told no1s caregivers why else would he have bought the size sausage pack that he did. Yes, I'm mad (yeah, yeah, in more ways than 1!!). Where does lying get him, except to make him look even better than me... and it's working... I'm gonna go and mow the lawns now and stop my ranting and raving, and maybe burn off this anger!! TC (you get the idea!!!)

[SeptemberMorn]

Irish, the truth will win out. All his lies will get found out. Just make sure you work on getting yourself together, ok? I'm really pulling for you!

[sujunew]

Truth had better win out........... ohhh, how cute. 21month old just brought me my slippers...sorry...thanks for the post . Good luck yrself!

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Remember you told me to

Stupid

[SeptemberMorn]

LOL I'm glad you agree. Will you kick my butt next time I do something like that??

[sujunew]

Have you heard my scream over your way yet?? I cannot even get to see no1 daughter until Wed- (hols etc...) if then even. Bueraucratic BS. Cps social worker never contacted me to say I can't have her... arghhhhhhhh. Steam rising outa my head. Gonna scream again... block your ears!!!

[wi_fighter]

You're stupid.

I'm just a bit confused. You wanted him out of the house in one fell swoop. A "Take everything the first time and don't come back" departure. But now you want to spend time with him when you couldn't wait to get rid of him a week ago.

[SeptemberMorn]

Well, it didn't work out "in one fell swoop" but I feel really good about him not living here anymore. The fact that I can tell him to "go home" when he starts annoying me as he continues to move his things out is a great PLUS. Like I said! "Call me Stupid" for having asked him to take me to the beach! Sometimes I forget what an idiot he really is! A thirty year history is not easy to earse. Emotions lose their intensity when there's relief from them, ya know.

[wi_fighter]

Yeah, I know that feeling. When they're out of your hair, you tend to forget why you wanted them gone in the first place.

[SeptemberMorn]

Yeah, you do tend to forget!! Why is that??? I mean... he hasn't been this way for the 30 yrs. It's just been maybe the last year, but STILL! Why do we keep putting our hands in the fire???

[wi_fighter]

Got me on that one. My T always says we wouldn't keep doing it (putting our hand in the fire) unless we were getting something out of it. Normally, if it hurts, you don't keeping doing it

[SeptemberMorn]

I HEARD YA!!!! WOW!!!

Sweety... have you been paying attention to what I've said, though?? You need to focus... you need to ground yourself FIRST! I can feel your out of control feelings all the way over here! No one understands the love and attachment a mother feels for her children better than I do, but Sweety... Let her caretaker worry about her for now! You need to worry about YOU!

Use this time that you only have to actively take care of ONE child and use the time to take care of YOU!! That's paramount! If YOU are not in control of YOU, then NOTHING else is going to be under control, either!

Stop worrying about #1 daughater, stop worrying about the ex, stop worrying about CPS. If you don't get YOU in focus, it's going to hurt everything else, ESPECIALLY #1 daughter and what CPS will allow you to do with her!

<font color="red">TAKING CARE OF IRISH IS PARAMOUNT RIGHT NOW!!!!! </font>

{{{{{{{{{{Irish}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[Lexicon78]

As soon as I read the title of this post I thought "oh definitely not stupid" but now I'm thinking...."completely not stupid!"

Some people can be so utterly selfish!

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{Lexi}}}}}}}}}}}} Thank you, Sweety. "Dense" maybe? LOL

[nothemama8]

Stupid is as Stupid does, honey child you let your heart do the thinking, snap a rubber band at the mans butt and get him washed out of your hair, if my foot would reach I'd ___________ ( you insert the rest)
Love ya Tomi hang tight ya can dop this
Angie

[SeptemberMorn]

Yes, Mother! That's what she used to tell me all the time. "You think with your heart, not your head, Silly Girl!" Oy Vey! Can I help it if my heart it bigger than my brain?? LOLOL

Love you, Angie! Also love the subject line of your PM! You betchur Sweet Beepie! LOL

[nothemama8]

love ya girl, bbl got to feed the old man supper

[SeptemberMorn]

hehehehe I don't have an Old Man! Neener! Neener! Neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeener!!

Whatcha eatin'??

[eskielover]

Hi there Tomi,

Haven't been keeping up with what's going on with you....but sounds like he is still around. I wouldn't call it stupid at all. I think that sometimes it is hard to determine how much tollerance we are willing to put into a relationship. It is nice to have someone around....if nothing more that to just be there. Being alone even with our babies isn't the same as having someone there to communicate with. I know my doggies talk to me without any yelling necessary, but there is nothing like human interface.

I know that I am having 2nd thoughts about going through with our divorce after 30 years. There are times when I feel that by tollerating him, we both can be better off. I will have complete ownership of my ranch....& whatever else I can purchase with my estate money. He will have to pay his share of utilities & with my disability, I will pay my share of the expenses. If there is any money left over, then we can put it together & buy the other things we need then if there is anything left comes buying things that we individually want. Purchasing anything on credit is not allowed at all. This time the ground rules are set & he knows that there will be no second chances this time.....like he has had over the past 30 years. I have been completely up front as to what I expect out of the rest of my life & told him if he didn't see himself there, then get out now because the next time I won't back down.

I'm not sure why your husband is taking his time at leaving unless he is having second thoughts about what he decided to do. He is putting you into a difficult situation when he comes back into your life then treats you without thinking about your feelings. I would have thought with you taking the camera to the beach, it wasn't just an invitation to have him take Amber into the water without you being part of that. Sounds like he isn't really sure about what he is wanting to do since he didn't just leave for Nevada.

Take care of yourself,.....Hugz,
Debbie

[SeptemberMorn]

Debbie, you're reading a page out of my book. However, Jerry has used up all of his chances. No more for him. I hope things work out for you the way you want them. Your arrangements sound very similar to what Jerry and I had but it didn't work. I'm wishing you better luck than I had.

Jerry has been doing what he should have been doing the whole week after his little tantrum. He gave himself a week just off the top of his head, never stopping to think of all the work he had to do for HIMSELF. He's also finishing up the work that he commited to doing when we moved into this place. BUT... I can tell he's having difficulty pulling away from here. Not even gonna pretend I understand him! He's living out of his RV and for the last two nights, he's slept in it in the storage space here in the park!! I don't get it!! But hey! If that's what it takes to have him treat me decently and do what he's supposed to have done months ago, I'm all for it! I'm not having any emotional problems with it, either, and I'm still on track with my independence. I REFUSE to feel sorry for him. Obiously, this is what he wants. Don't need to understand it.

I REFUSE to call you stupid.

that would be lying and thats not right hehe

[mrb020377]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I REFUSE to call you stupid.

that would be lying and thats not right hehe

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Rainbowzz you were reading my mind!!! I would never call you stupid Tomi!!! never!!!!! You are not stupid or dumb or anything else you may think that you are...
YOU are however hurt and upset. You have every right to be!!!

I love you!! So dont think I would call you stupid... you wouldnt call me that!!!