Is Swinging mentally harmful?

For those interested, Ashley Lister, author of Swingers: True confessions From The Modern Swinging Scene (Virgin Books; ISBN 0753511355), will be in the Internet chatroom of Suburban Swingers (http://www.ssuk.org.uk/) this Thursday at 9:00 p.m. UK time. Ashley will be discussing his/her (not sure which) latest title, SWINGERS: True
Confessions From Today's Swinging Scene.

The chatroom is usually for paid-up members only, but anyone can enter that night. You have to register, but it's free.

Ashley's site is http://www.ashleylister.co.uk/

What if my values and enjoying it are differant? I don't know if I am in doubt because it's socially wrong or because I think it's wrong. Thats one thing I can't figure out.

EVERYONE'S VALUES ARE DIFFERENT. BEING COMFORTABLE WITH THEM IS WHAT COUNTS....


Just because I enjoyed it doesn't make it right. Right? Would that make it one of my values if I liked it, or the society part of it? Do you understand what I am talking about? I guess what I mean is am I under conviction because society says it's wrong or is it crossing over one of my bounderies?

AGAIN, IT'S DIFFERENT FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE. SOCIETY ISN'T ALWAYS RIGHT. INDIVIDUALS FREQUENTLY GO AGAINST THE MORES OF SOCIETY. YOU HAVE TO DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT FOR YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU CAN LIVE WITH. AND THAT'S WHAT PERSONAL CHOICE MEANS.

I'll give you an example, though it's far from what you're asking about...it might help.......i photograph rodeo. a lot of what is done at a rodeo doesn't fit in my value system. i only photograph Indian rodeo because i'm documenting and observing for a book that i'm writing. they enjoy roping calves, i would never do that. i don't believe in it. i'm firm on that. i leave the arena and refuse to watch. HOWEVER, remember, that i'm only there to document and observe..not take part. so, it's a no brainer for me to decide what i believe in, when it comes to rodeos. When someone tries to start an argument with me over rodeos, i remind them that i'm not there to reform, just observe..........

i've probably confused the hell out of you, but i hope it helps. xoxox pat

Thanks Pat, I think I have went so long with pple making decisions for me (just recently started doing it after working on this in therapy) that I still have a hard time doing it. I know that sounds stupid, but for the longest I have aways had rescuers and know that I won't let anyone rescue me so I can "clean" up my own mistakes its scary sometimes to make a decision. This isn't just a "o I payed a bill late" thing. One thing I know is that I wouldn't just go if my husband didn't want to go. I would find something else to do just because it's not high on my list of priorities.

Thanks Maven I am going to check that out.