hey guys
im just led in bed at the mo with alot of things goin round in me head that i need to talk about.
im feelin abit lonely lately and sometimes i just need that special someone to be led next to me so i can talk to, cuddle and relax with. ive been single now for just over a year (that relationship only lasting a few weeks and was my only relationship in a year) and i am still a virgin at the age of 19, after bein sexually abused 9 years ago i find it really hard to trust someone and let them get close and intimate with me. i am now ready to have a sexual partner but my problem is that i only want a long term relationship which is deep and meaningful with someone i care deeply for, im not the type of person to sleep with anyone once or twice and move on, and because of my abuse i feel my (proper) first time has to be with that special someone but because of my age i just cant find a girl who wants a long term relationship and who is similar to me. im the type of guy who prefers staying in, ya no, cosy nights in etc, i am romantic, caring, and very loving but all the girls that i have met are the opposite, they all wanna be out partying and having a "great" time.
I really do want somebody to love and for somebody to love me, i have so much to give and i no i can make that women very very happy, but i think im setting standards too high, or am i? wat do u guys think? am i wrong for wanting a serious relationship, i no its not the "normal" thing to do at 19 but thats all i want, my past has tought me to only spend time with people i care about and i dont care about sleepin with loadsa girls, partyin til early hours and doin drink and drugs cos it just isnt me. am i wrongfully hopin for that special girl? i mean, im not lookin too hard for her because you will never find wat u are looking for until you stop lookin so im not forcin myself to find that special one but am runnin down a dead end!

bump

simon you have some pretty serious issuses to deal with here, what makes you think you are ready for a relationship now? what has changed?

simon if you want to talk one on one, man to man pm me

[SeptemberMorn]

Simon where were you when I was a teen?? I don't think your expectations are too much. Only thing is, you're gonna have to have lots of patience waiting for that girl. They are out there, but extremely hard to find.

From the time I was 14, I wanted that special someone and oh, how I wanted a baby! I wan't doing anything, mind you, to find him! All I ever wanted to be was a good wife and mommy. Both my choices were bad ones because I was in too much of a hurry. So be patient. You're doing the right thing by not going out and looking for your special girl. When the time is right, she'll come to you.

You might want to rethink "staying in", though. I can't think of too many girls/women that I know of that are content staying in ALL the time!

Good luck to ya!

[Rhapsody]

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

I am so SORRY that you are feeling lonely.... that is a feeling I hate when it rears its ugly head.
Please take gentle care of yourself and try not to push the relationship thing, it will happen when it is right..... I found my special someone without even looking.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Its good to know you guys are here. I am ready to get into a relationship, the issues i am dealing with are mostly over, i feel ive just gone over that big hill and its all good from here on in, and yeah, im bound to have rough days, but i pretty much know how to deal with them - talking is the best cure. When im in a relationship i obviously wont tell my partner about my abuse or the really deep stuff ive said on here, but i would like to confide in her, thats what a relationship is about, right? the whole "staying in" thing has a reason its like it is, see, when i did go into depression i never left the house and for about 4 or 5 months i stayed in, afraid to go out and even to talk to most people, so i lost contact with all my friends. now, 3 years on, im completely different, am a very friendly person, i make everyone laugh, ive even been told i lighten the mood in the room dramatically just by being there, im the "class clown" lol, which i love to pieces. so the reason my social life isnt as active as it could be, its because im just building friendships with the right people, and i know once i get a girlfriend i will go out ALOT more, but for now its fine. i no i will make a huge amounts of friends when i have someone i care for by my side, its just how i work, i cant say its a weakness, dont know if its a strength either, but ive always been like that, but i do always remain genuine, if i dont like someone, i wont be around them, unless i had to. and like i said, i do prefer stayin in for a cosy night but i do like goin out with the right people so who knows what will happen in the future, all good stuff i think.
i look forward to that special girl to come along, and im prepared to wait because i know that when she does come along, its so much more special. im not lookin to have a family yet, i feel i need to live a life first, im a keen musician as i said on a different thread so im currently working on that, and again, when that takes off (and i KNOW it will) my social life will be excellent! it is exciting stuff, i go all tingly when i think about music and even more so singing so its all good. i do hope to find that special one before my career takes off but if i dont, well i dont, like u said "septembermorn", when the time is right, i will find her, until then, patience is a virtue, right?

[Rhapsody]

YES you are right..... communication is what it is all about with in a relationship..... when you do find some one take it slow and after say 6 months to 1 year you can open up a little bit more with her.
BTW - I like to stay in and have a warm cozy night at home.... so keep faith, for there are other females out there like home more than the night life.

Find YOU first..... then she can be a blessing and not the package..... YOU are the Package - share it with her.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - (((( hugs ))))

I completely agree with you on that one Rhapsody, and i have found myself, and im happy to be myself. i have found myself recently and discovered my wants in life, and my passions, and everything else too. and i certainly am not one to give up on anything, certainly not myself, my passion for music, or the faith of meeting that special person.
Nice to see people agree too, makes it easier. thanks guys.