Friend update & Question

I've been in contact with that one friend of mine. He was off work for 3 days in a row! Don't know how that happened, LOL. Anyway, we've been talking alot, and text messaging each other even more. He wants to be with me and go out and do things--and stay in and do things. I'm shy of that last part because of the PTSD still having some effect yet. Hand holding, cuddling, that I can handle. I know that he is hoping for more at some point. He embarrasses easily, so I believe that he truly does like me. I've looked into his eyes. I am interested in maybe doing more with him, but it has to feel natural at the moment. I'm not sure how to do this while just handholding, cuddling, or having more mild intimate contact. I don't want to feel pressured, I want it to be comfortable and let nature take its course, so to speak. Any ideas?

This is what I think you are saying:

Your guy wants to do more than cuddle. Doing more doesn't feel comfortable to you right now, but you want to do more and find a way not to feel uncomfortable about doing it. You stated that you don't want to feel pressured, and to avoid being pressured by this guy, you are going to pressure yourself before he has the chance.

That way, you don't have to hold him responsible when things happen that you don't want to happen, which you assume they will, because your PTSD is thinking for you. (That part is my personal hypothesis.)

I recognize that you want to be over your PTSD, but further traumatizing yourself is not going to help you to overcome it, and I fear that is what you are attempting. The only way to make it feel natural is to wait until it really is.

Hi inkblot,
I'm not sure if you have or not, but try explaining your situtation to this guy. Also, tell him that you need lots of time.. and there are a lot of people that wait until they are married anyway. It can be hard on a relationship anyway for people to get that close, but not be 100% commited yet. There is always this thought of oh i might lose him and look at what i'll be losing with him. Although, this is just in my opinion it might be different for you, but you might want to explain that to him.
-Audrey