Perception gone Wrong - (?)

I need to talk...... and need a ((( hugs ))) and ((( understanding )))

I have been wrongly accused a something I never did or ever had any intentions of doing, but another assumed and perceived things about me (from their POV) that are incorrect about me, my character and my heart.... now I am left holding the reins with wonders of how or why this could of happened?

What is a person to do when the other person will not even take the time to discuss this matter in an open and adult way (and) with out harshness?

While I know it should not matter what another thinks.... it does - for it is not true (I can't handle ppl thinking things about me that are not true) and if they would only listen they could see how wrong it all is.... that it is merely a perception gone wrong - based on wounded emotions from with in and not actual facts.

Thanks..... for letting me vent - I feel better now - needed to get it out.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Sorry, I have no wise words to give. Just that you have my understanding for what it’s worth. I think the best thing might be to let them/the other person calm down for a bit, as forcing the issue with someone who is not prepared (or willing) to respond is a lost cause, and might actually make things worse. I am sorry. It hurts to be accused of something either unfounded and/or without just cause. But maybe with time, tolerance/open-mindedness from all parties, the misunderstanding could be resolved... with time. Just give them their space for the moment. Just my two cents.

Thanks............... your two cents are worth a dollar $ $ $ $ (more if i had it right now).

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Special (((((HUGS))))) for a special person...

Rhapsody, Hi. Oh manomanoman, false accusations used to turn me purple with frustration, into a pretzel with not knowing what to do. My brain would feel like it was exploding in angst, so I can relate.....

Giving space, time to cool down and distance for heads to settle, followed by a clear the air tete a tete, would be ideal in my book, but, I don't get to write the script (for myself, let alone others). So, learning to take care of myself became the only thing i could do. Sure enough, as I've got my own boundaries and self esteem together, stuff like this is not quite so hard on me, bitter though that is in my mouth......

Or: Is there a 3rd person who could intervene with clear information to the offended party?

Hang in there.

I am sorry that this has happened to you Rhap. My thoughts are with you.

(((Rhapsody)))

<font color="purple">Boy do I understand!! many ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) for you! </font>

Hi Rhap,
I do understand how frustrating and yucky that kind of situation feels. Try to stay centered in your own truth. You know your truth. If someone else is mistaken, that's their loss. You're still you, and your truth is still your own.

(((((Rhapsody))))

Take care,
gg

Thank YOU all for the wonderful SUPPORT.... I am feeling better already.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Got a story to share on "perception." When I first started having relationship problems with my daughter, I went to our minister for help and advice. I related to him what my daughter had been saying about me to family; that I resented her having sex with her husband, that she was afraid I was going to kidnap her two boys and run away to Mexico with them and I can't remember the third right now. I couldn't believe what came out of the minister's mouth!!!! He said that "perception is 90% truth." I couldn't convince him that my daughter was having some major issues because what she was saying was so far from the truth that it left everyone floored.

I didn't believe him then, and tend to not believe that statement yet today, but there ARE circumstances where a person is told a different perspective than they see and they call it an ultimate lie or an attack on their person.

In my recent thread in Relationships about finding out that one of my DsIL had been stalking me, I found that the two younger members (this has happened before) saw things from a DIL's perspective and not mine. It could be the "generation gap," maybe not. YET! I listened to what LMo had to say, I dwelt on it, sat with it for days. Some of what she said settled with me. I could accept it and I've tried to change the way I think and speak about that particular DIL. However, I still feel somewhat invalidated by the other things that were said. I'm still looking at and thinking about those things. LMo knows me well enough to know that I'm open to contructive critisism. I'll mull it around in my mind and if I find one inkling of truth in it, I set about to change the way I think about things... therefore changing my perception. Ultimately, it won't be LMo's perception or whoever shared with me, but I accept what's been said and do what I can to make myself a better person.

We may at times be given kind, constructive critisism and sometimes, we can get lashed with it. Regardless, it would behoove us all to let our emotions cool and then think about what was said. I've found that there almost ALWAYS is some truth in another's perspective.

Ok... I'm off my soap box.

Hi, Rhap,

Oh..the bad old days...when everything others said cut me like a knife...got to the point where my insides were like confetti...Honey, everyone is different, and I find that the folks that say things to hurt us, or believe falsely about us, are as mixed up as we are....it just comes out different.

That was a long time ago for me...my life has settled and sometimes gets mind numbingly boring...I actually love to hear false rumours about me now...cause most of the time that false me is having waaaaay more fun that me :O)

You know you're a good person, you know those things aren't true...if what the other person believes is upsetting them...then it is THIER problem....don't let it be yours.

You rock :O)

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
vivir said:
Hi, Rhap,
You know you're a good person, you know those things aren't true...if what the other person believes is upsetting them...then it is THIER problem....don't let it be yours.
You rock :O)

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Thank YOU................. smiling BIG -
NOW I do believe that I can go to sleep and rest with PeAcE tonight.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

I hate it when people accuse me of things that aren't true, especially when I have no way of proving the truth. One of the problems with misperceptions is, people keep their perceptions about a person in a mental pocket, and whether those perceptions are correct or not, they all get stored in that pocket. One misperception can lead a person to believe other false things about you, and those misperceptions pile up. Then the person has this image of you that isn't true at all. And again, they're more willing to believe things said about you that are false. For instance, if someone who's supposed to be your friend says you stole something (and she's placed the item on your person, further making you look guilty) and you can't prove you didn't, people will not only think you're a thief now, they'll be more apt to believe you guilty of stealing other items that go missing in the future.

While I don't generally worry about what people think about me, I'm not 100% worry-free. Especially when those perceptions can affect my life (such as preventing me from getting a desired job).

I was accused of moving my next door neighbor's baby coach into the street. She insisted that I did it and I got really frustrated and upset because although, after we screamed and cursed at each other, I tried talking to her in a calm, rational tone-she just blew me off and even called the cops on me because I insisted on trying to talk with her about it. I was really upset.
GRRR Well, I didn't touch her coach and she's happy believing I did it even though I've never done anything wrong to her-EVER but like my sister told me. She dealing with something else in her life and she's targeting me as an outlet for it. For whatever the reason.
Sigh
It's really frustrating, I know. I hope, as my sister had told to me, it doesn't make you bitter.
((((((Rhapsody)))))))

very interesting hillbunny. Thanks