[TOYA]

I was just recently dumped by my boyfriend of six years. When he told me that he didn't want to be with me, I literally felt my heart shatter. We have done this its over dance numerous times but this time I knew there that it was over. The ache in my heart is different than the times before. I don't want it to be over I love him very much and I can't see myself with anyone else. I don't if it hurts so much because I don't understand why or if it is because he is my first love. My thoughts are spiraling like a tornado. All I have done is cry and hold my chest because every thought I have is of him. I hate it. Why is it that I was the one who fought so hard and gave it my all, and made this whole relationship and him my whole world. All I ever wanted was to take care of and love him. It hurts to know that my love wasn't enough for him.

Hi Toya,
I'm sooo sorry you're in so much pain. I know there's nothing I can say or do to make it better.
I just wanted to give you a big hug-
(((((((((Toya)))))))))))

[valexand]

I know exactly how you feel because I am in the same place right now in my life. I also worked really hard for my relationship with this man, while he was doing nothing about it. I gave 4 good years of my youth building moments. We also had the break-up dance many times. You know what I think? A good relationship shouldn't be so much work. When I look back to my relationship all I feel is tired. I don't remember good moments anymore, sadly. He was also my first love and I cannot figure out if I am stuck on him because of that. The worst part is that I am now 29, so it hurts even worse, since I had already planted the images of a family and kids in my head. Now everything is demolished. Do you feel tired of just thinking to look for somebody new? Because I feel like this. The idea of going through the process of getting to know a new person's quirks and needs makes me dizzy. But one thing is for sure, when there are too many break-up dances it is wiser to step out of the relationship. Don't waste too much time on somehting that is already doomed. What I have been doing ever since the break-up is keeping myself busy with things. I take short trips, I go out with friends and I work a lot. I try not to have time to think because I really do torture myself by over-analysing things. And you know what else? The dude is doing great! Really! He has totally moved on in life and is already moving in with this other woman. Yep! He is the one having a ball! I'm sure that your guy is probably somewhere having fun too while you are at home crying, right? How do they manage to be like this, I really have no clue. Makes you wonder who was that person you were really with, huh?! Ok, I've said enough, huh. Just one last thing: KEEP YOURSELF BUSY. Don't think and don't analyse. MOVE ON.

(((((((((Toya))))))))))))))

[seeker1950]

Hi Toya and Vales....
Both of you have had a hard time. I know how painful rejection is from a loving partner with whom you have placed all your energies and devotion, only to be rejected. Valex...keeping busy is one thing; there is also time needed for quiet reflection, feeling the pain, and giving yourself time to heal. Keeping oneself busy with distractions can sometimes onliy mask the pain of healing, with which you must deal eventually.
Healing thoughts,
Patty