codependency/confusion need advice

Honey, we can still pray together. I even prayed with you recently. Do you not remember? Honey, this will take some time. Why do you keep saying both we good match, and need to see if good match? We both felt God tell us before this was right.. I know myself am not seeking just comfort. i really love you. You know that.

You know we are match. Why do you keep saying that? it hurts my feelings. You know it is really that we need to ask God "how can i be a good spouse?" not "what kind of person to marry?"

It is because it is so fast, like a big wind blow, and it happened while i was in a little recovery process....and this blow wind make this recovery process v complicated and mixed too...
and meanwhile both inner issues mixed with emotion feelings arise too..

Sigh, life is too hard and heavy........

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agapegirl said:
It is because it is so fast, like a big wind blow, and it happened while i was in a little recovery process....and this blow wind make this recovery process v complicated and mixed too...
and meanwhile both inner issues mixed with emotion feelings arise too..

Sigh, life is too hard and heavy........

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We will work together on this honey. we will not marry until God's timing is right.

what? May Jesus prevail forevermore and not us let your heart not be troubled (about anything,,stay calm and serene this day for nothing else matters)

Agapegirl

I understand what you are saying about issues of the past. I had a terrible, terrible, past..and it affects my relationship now..the word 'confusion..' you used pretty much sums it up for me too...sometimes I cannot even concentrate on a simple conversation right before me...its hard..also the emotion fear you mentioned that, too, well when I was homeless the fear and the confusion was at its height..hard memory to swallow..and you fear you and renew are just seeking comfort from each other..I beg to ask..is there anything worng with finding comfort with each other? You are a Godly person, I can tell by your name and your post..and I believe you and Renew can be ok with Godly counsel and working out things from your past...it took me years to get over my past..I pray for you, I do see it working out though!! I feel God has put this thread in my path, it is wonderful thread and I have learned so much from it!! God bless everyone who has shared their story. God is looking down on us all, with his ear tipped down, saying I hear you, I hear you..

Yes. God is revealing much! I believe what He is showing us will help our relationship grow in Him!

it is horrible....where can get those counsel online? I can not meet any real person, lack strength deep sick already, and it is too heavy job for renew...he is a man and can not understnd many things

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agapegirl said:
it is horrible....where can get those counsel online? I can not meet any real person, lack strength deep sick already, and it is too heavy job for renew...he is a man and can not understnd many things

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i am not able without God, but through God we can la. God has helped me understand so much already, and you know that. You must realize humans do not complete humans. God completes us, but we are here to share the love of God. oh honey..

agapegirl,

I googled 'online counseling..' i found helphorizons.com find-a-therpaist.com and thecounselors.com...........good luck!!

Those sites r helpful , thanks
and i find another interesting fact is, I keep invovling in same spirit traps, i think it also with some psy reasons......i need a lot psy help it seems....
It is because I have never overcomed some devil traps, those devil keep coming back. This world is full of different kinds of devil, it is so scary. i hope i can get more strength from the lord so that I can win them without fear.

you are not alone honey, and we can do all through Christ.

I love you,

-Renew

We both have issues to deal with firstly, but Renew already involved deeply, so it is hard for me, i do not know what to do now,
cuz i feel pressure and screwed up,
i need to get fixed of my issues,same for him,but Renew not realize or he is out of control......

i am not out of control la.. you just not see that i am striving hard because i love you.. persevere does not mean out of control. :cries:

Maybe you inspire Renew, he could be trying hard to get his life in order so on day soon you can both live as a married couple. Maybe you inspire him to desire a better life. Just back off and both of you rest in the serenety of trust and faith and loveingkindness, just let time take the time for the next few months. Try not to have sex, maybe limit yourself to hugs, kisses, and naps (if you can control) Anyway, time "Does take Some Time", you two i will be praying for renew and agaphe girl because right now me and larry are in the exact same situation here in wally wally wa, you two are definately not alone. Many believeing couples really feel punished, feel ashamed, feel overburdened, for getting sexual too fast, but then again the world makes it so easy to fall prey. AgapheGirl, trust trust and trust but also do what you know is Best in the situation, the Possibilietis are endless, each day poses as a brand new opportunity for anything to aspire in any direction the freedom of choice is in your pocket Agaphegirl, don't let anything get the better of you for day by day there is a way and you are strong enough with higher power .

we haven't had sex, kissed or hugged at all. She thinks i have too much passion by writing her poems and singing to her and being sweet, and persevering in trying to help this grow stronger.

thanks for your prayers. i hope soon God shows us the way to do this.