[tnt4lyfe72]

i was on a few weeks ago.been on and off ever since.my prob. was the ex and the best well ex best friend got into a relationship a week after i got the boot and she moved in shortly after.anyway 2 days ago she packed her stuff n took off on him while he was at work.well guess what yep u guessed it i was the 1st one he called hmmmmm go figure!!!he needed sumone to talk to bout this. he was a mess, crying.i told him now u know how i have felt for weeks!he said why cant we be friends .i told him thats difficult for me cuz i still have feelings and cant listen to him talkin bout her.well rite away his attitude abuse and narcissim came out.i cant be friends w sumone who hurt me that bad and did what he did.i was just starting to feel better bout the whole situation, and the he called GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!now im starting out at square 1 where i was wks ago in the healing process.please help.should i be there for him as a friend?????im confused and sad all over again.

Please don't be confused, and please don't be put back on your healing by him. Change your attitude if you can and use your gggggggggggr in a good way - its fair and just to be angry! You just got what they class as 'revenge'. I know that its sad to see someone hurt, but if there was anyone who ever deserved a taste of his own medicine is your ex. Sounds mean, but take comfort in that - and perhaps he will think differently when he meets someone new.

Then just forget about him. He was yet again nasty when you refused to be his friend, and yes you are right, you shouldn't be friends with someone like him. Why on earth would you put yourself out for someone who treated you like doggie mess on the bottom of a shoe? The fact he wants to sound off about his new ex to you shows you that the guy is either really stupid, or really inconsiderate towards you - and neither are good qualities in a friend. Keep away, don't feel guilty - all of this is his own making. Do things you like, see friends, have some fun for a change, take good care of yourself and put him behind you. He really isn't worth it.

[tnt4lyfe72]

ur so rite he did try guilting me too wen i said i cant listen to u talking bout her.i said im sry she hurt u but i told him it was goin to happen i thought she would stay a little longer than 3 wks tho lol!he has never appreciated or really respected me inthe 4 yrs we were together,he actually cheated on me 2 wks into the relationshp. i should of stopped it there im very soft and forgave him tho.thx 4 ur support and great advice hun def goin to stay away!!xoxo

I wish you well on your journey hun. You'll be ok, promise. One day I bet you'll meet someone who treats you better and that you can love and trust without it being undervalued - and the ex will be but a distant memory..

Hugs

[avlady]

There's alot more fish in the sea!!!!and they come looking for just you, the good ones, someone you can trust and love, you don't have to feel guilty for something someone else did too!!!

Originally Posted by t.p.

Yes, friends like that can't be called real friends at all.. But makes no sense to take revenge and behave even nastier than him. Like other guys said before, keep away from a close friendship with him , but just act politely

I think it may be useful to read the OP's story in another post. Her best friend and her long term b/f got together and caused the OP a great deal of pain and distress. Neither of them were there for her as a friend in her hour of need. They caused it.

Then I think its useful to read her post above here and that his phoning triggered a lot of the pain again, and she was left feeling guilty because she didn't want to be his friend and she felt confused because he leaned on her so much that she was feeling guilty where she shouldn't. Is that the sort of person who will respond well to her acting politely even if she wanted to?

Then please read my post again. I never said about her going out to get her revenge. I said that she has got it. Think of it as karma if you like. None of that is her own behaviour, nothing she did split them up. In fact I think she's just kept away, trying to get over the hurt they both caused. I never said about her being even nastier to him. On the strength of the OP's post, I was trying to say that there is nothing wrong with her keeping away if she wants, which she said she wants. Its him putting pressure on her that made her wobbly but she owes him nothing. Quite frankly I think that the OP deserves much much better than having a friend in him when he's been no friend - or boyfriend for her. Why would anyone want to be a friend when been so badly treated, and certainly not 'act politely' when he wants to talk about the upset he had when his second g/f left him. She should look after herself now.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by tnt4lyfe72

ur so rite he did try guilting me too wen i said i cant listen to u talking bout her.i said im sry she hurt u but i told him it was goin to happen i thought she would stay a little longer than 3 wks tho lol!he has never appreciated or really respected me inthe 4 yrs we were together,he actually cheated on me 2 wks into the relationshp. i should of stopped it there im very soft and forgave him tho.thx 4 ur support and great advice hun def goin to stay away!!xoxo

Encourage him to see the positive side of it - she did stay for THREE WHOLE WEEKS!