How much does 'marriage' mean to you?

You know, it wasn't all that long ago when I was saying the same things as you are now, DSF. In fact, when I first read your post, I was startled at my own perception that you were writing defensively... but then I reconsidered that *I* might have been feeling defensive when I was in a committed relationship but not married, so I realize that I have to be careful not to read that into your posts, since you are, obviously, not me

You may very well feel no different after you get married. If you look at it as just a piece of paper, then you're right -- it really doesn't matter whether you get married or not. However, if you and your partner mindfully and meaningfully decide to take that step together, marriage can mean much, much more than just a piece of paper. I don't believe that any relationship is 'forever' just because someone gets married, but I just know that it added an entirely new dimension to what was already a fulfilling, deeply committed relationship for both me and my husband.

What I mean is that you'll get out of it what you put into it.

Marraige means a lot to me. Although, I have never been married, but I was in a very long relationship that meant to me just as much as marraige-too bad he didn't share the same view. We lived together. I don't think I owuld ever live with someone again. I think I might spend time at his place, him at mine until we could figure out how compatible we were...but to do the long term thing without the commitment of professing our love? No.

My ex is married to someone that previously took vows to another (my ex's wife was his bestfriends wife..nice huh?), now my ex has always believed marraige is just a piece of paper. Not only does he believe that, but because he was married outside of the church (because of her divorce they could nto be married in the Catholic church) he feels he is really not married. BUNK....lol.

I guess my point being, everyone has their own view on what a marraige is or isn't, and how our opinions can change through time. When I was younger marraige meant something different to me than it does today.

I do hope one day to marry, but to someone that shares my same morals, values, and characters, and over all what our views mean or marraige, and what we expect to get out of it. Otherwise, to me, it would just be a peace of paper.

L

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_Sky said:
The thread topic asks How much does 'marriage' mean to you? Why then, is anyone arguing with what another posts? If support for living together rather than making a committment of marriage is what you wanted, perhaps you might have phrased the thread differently.

A strong marriage, imo, is the basis for a strong family and a stronger society. Statistics prove out that living together before marriage does not guarantee a long marriage, in fact, it shows the opposite. Before you go quoting divorce statistics, why not look and see how many of the divorces were of ppl who lived together first? Also, why not check to see WHY they decided to finally get married, perhaps it was because of a child... only to prove another point that any reason to get married is not a good one... it takes love. Some ppl only live together to satiate their sexual and loneliness desires, maybe to try to reduce their fear of STDs, but also because they aren't sure they love someone enough to marry them...yet.

This topic has many, many avenues to pursue... again, it you need support for where you are in life regarding relationships, ask for it, I'm sure you will find it here at PC. (((dsf))))

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Oh I'm completely fine ... I don't want to be with anyone right now but I do have two men in my life (as of last night it went from one to two )

Not serious with either of them right now but ... with one of them I *know* I could be.

I only wish I was in the right place to be a good girlfriend.

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jennie said:
I have Libertarian views on marriage and society. I don't care if others in society practice monogomy, non-monogomy, or polygomy as long as they don't hurt others in doing such. To each his/her own.

Personally, I feel more comfy in the traditional sense of marriage. I see my marriage as a legal contract for society, my child, and G-d to recognize there is a solid commitment between me and my husband. Our marriage contract gives our family future security benefits and ensures our family lineage and values will continue for years to come.

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Do you not have de facto status in the US! Here, social support is equal to marriage if you have been with someone for over 3 years. Children are not disadvantaged.

we do have de facto (called 'common law') but the rights and vary state by state.

Marrage means a lot to me I met my husband when I was 17yrs & we married a yr later thats 10yrs ago now & we have just done it all over again as we were told that we would not last as I was so young my husband is my sole mate, best friend, lover & my whole life I would not be with out him.