Not interested in meeting people

I'm going to be honest, I suck at making new contacts and making new friends. Always been, always will be. Yet I manage to get friends, but I don't know how, it just happens without me realising it.

I see myself as a very boring and uninterested person, because that's true about my personality. My friends often ask if I want to hang out, but I always come up with excuses why I can't because I don't feel like hanging out with my friends or my family. I never know what to talk about, and I always feel relieved when any of my friends always know what to talk about. I often need people who can start a conversation that can last for hours, otherwise I will never start a conversation and actually talk.

I'm a extremely introvert person, I've always been that and I'm extremely shy. People tell me to be myself, and that's the problem. If I'm being myself, I'm always quiet and barely talk at all. I'm just there while people are talking.

My main problem is that I don't want to meet with people. I'm kind of a lone wolf, but at the same time I hate to be alone. It's frustrating. I don't like being around people for a long time. I would rather sit in my room and talk with people online for hours than going out with people.

Tell me, am I antisocial?

I don't think people are allowed to diagnose on here...we are all psych patients after all. But let me ask you what does it mean to apply a label to yourself...is it because you want to change and need to find information? If you're happy with who you are then call yourself either normal or shy and be done with it no need to pathologize it.

Antisocial people are often quite charming and adept at making superficial friendships. You do not sound antisocial. Asocial perhaps, but not antisocial. I also agree that it does not particularly matter, but no, you are not antisocial. You do seem to be introverted.

let me ask you this silly question - WHAT do you talk to people online for hours about, and why cannot you talk about the same things with RL people??

Angel:

You CLEARLY are not antisocial.

Wikipedia:

Antisocial personality disorder (ASPD) is described by the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic and Statistical Manual, fourth edition (DSM-IV-TR), as an Axis II personality disorder characterized by "... a pervasive pattern of disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others that begins in childhood or early adolescence and continues into adulthood."[1] They have an "impoverished moral sense or conscience" and may have a "history of crime, legal problems, impulsive and aggressive behaviour." The antisocial personality disorder falls under the dramatic/erratic cluster of personality disorders.[2]

Wikipedia on asocial, if you are interested:

Asociality refers to the lack of a strong motivation to engage in social interaction or the preference for solitary activities. Developmental psychologists use the synonyms nonsocial, unsocial, and social disinterest. Asocial is distinct from antisocial as the latter implies an active dislike or antagonism toward other people or the general social order. The condition is often confused with misanthropy.
Asociality is seen as a desirable trait in certain monastic traditions, notably in Catholicism, Buddhism and Sufism. It is lauded both as a tool of alienation from secular life and of enabling a lifestyle of uninterrupted contemplation.
A degree of asociality is routinely observed in introverts, while extreme asociality is observed in schizophrenia patients. In schizophrenia it is characterised by an inability to empathise, to feel intimacy with, or to form close relationships with others (Davidson & Neale 1994). Asociality has also been observed in individuals who have been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome and Autism, usually due to bullying and social discouragement in adolescence.[1]
Asociality is not necessarily perceived as a totally negative trait by society, since expressing asociality has been used as a way to express independence of the mind from prevailing ideas (dissent). Expressing asociality can also be used as a form of humour to indicate an issue (e.g. used for pointing out the exaggerations of social network services (Kahney 2004)).

It's easy to see why people think "antisocial" means "not being social" when it has a way different meaning. I got called antisocial - and I knew what it meant - it is a behavior associated with people who commit murder. No way I am THAT.

You CAN feel this way , we all do some times. I feel boring right now, actually. I had the option to go with a friend, but I chose not to. and it's okay. I just want to stay home in bed.

May be your social group is limited, and the internet offers you a bigger audience to connect and share the same interests.

May be you're scared to be rejected. it sounds like you're conflictted when you want to be social, but you seem uncomfortable, which is totally ok. But you're avoiding socialization based on something... Next time, just put on your shoes and go

You're not boring otherwise people wouldn't invite you. I kept saying no, no, and I regret it now

You might want to check out the avoidant personality disorder page.

Hi Angel ~ I'M very much like you are!!! I had quite a few friends in my younger years, but my crummy husband at the time got rid of all my friends cause he wouldn't let me out of the house! So they all dropped me of course, and I haven't seen them since!

So now, I tend to be a loner. And I AM quite shy. I also have a hard time starting conversations -- I don't know what to talk about. YOu can't talk about religion or politics, so what else is there? The weather? I'm certainly not well schooled in the best authors, and I don't WANT to be. LOL Art bores me -- I don't understand the majority of it. LOL

I can be in a room full of people, and STILL feel alone. It's like I'm a square peg in a round hole. All these people will be standing around talking to each other, and I'll be off in some corner, alone. It's like that all the time. So I may as well stay home! I feel more comfortable there -- I AM comfortable in my own skin, alone. Not to sound snooty, but I enjoy my own company.

So I know how you feel Angel. If that makes me Asocial, that's ok. I've been called MUCH worse things in my lifetime than that. Hugs, Lee

Thank you for all of your replies. I didn't want to be diagnosed, I just wanted to share my feelings and see what you think it is, because my family has called me antisocial pretty often when I don't want to be around people.

I talk about anything with my friends, sometimes I go pretty deep. We can end up discussing deep things like, the fact that we live in space, and that we can't see air and etc. Really deep stuff. And sometimes we just talk about stuff that doesn't make sense to people around us, things that only the two of us understands.

I met a girl 12 years ago called Johanna, we're still friends and we can talk about absolutely everything, doesn't matter what. She's my age too. We are both in a group called "fandoms". A fandom is basically a group - usually millions or thousands - of fans who watch tv-shows and movies. The Marvel fandom is probably the biggest.

Anyway, we're both in fandoms and therefore we can talk about fandom stuff that other people doesn't understand at all. We make references that no one understands.

If there's anyone on Earth that I want to spend my time with, it's Johanna.

I hope this makes sense lol

You sound perfectly normal to me!

Yeah, but I start to wonder when this lack of interest comes all the time. Sometimes I stay home from school because I don't want to be around people. Today I went shopping with my sister, and that was the worst decision of my life. I was really stressed out, I was getting paranoid because it felt like everyone was looking at me and judging me. Then it all ended with a panic attack and a trip to E.R.

I don't mind being alone, but sometimes I get depressed because deep inside I want to be with people, but at the same time I can't. It gets too much for me to deal with. I've had this problem since I was like 12-13 years old and I'm nearly 20 years old. Mom thought it would eventually go away, that it was just a phase I was going through but she is now pretty sure that it's not a phase.

I will probably never be comfortable around people

Have you read about social anxiety disorder...a great book on it is called diagonally parked in a parallel universe by signe dayhoff.

How old are you, if I may ask?

If you are Johanna's age it is more than normal to be introverted during adolescence.