 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
May 22, 2013, 09:13 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Just wondering if anyone else feels like they have to be someone they are not for people to like them?
__________________
"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves." ~The Buddha
|
|
#2
May 22, 2013, 09:26 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Not to have people like me (actually I just really don't care if you do or not for the most part), but at times, in certain situations, sure.
|
|
#3
May 23, 2013, 09:10 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I used to feel like this, but somewhere along the line I realised a few things. If someone doesn't like me for me, I'm not sure I actually like them. There isn't a 'right' way to be so people like you. May as well be yourself and see if YOU like THEM. And if you're not being authentic, well, people will sense that anyway.
I'm sorry you feel that the person you are is somehow unacceptable to others. I wonder if you are giving other people more of a free pass while being really harsh on yourself? Could you stop and think about WHY you don't expect to be liked, and if you're being really unfair to yourself? |
 FallingAme, Sometimes psychotic
|
|
#4
May 23, 2013, 09:48 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
If people can't like you for being yourself ****them!!
|
|
#5
May 23, 2013, 10:55 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
We can't be who we aren't because we are who we are. We can choose to act a certain way. . . It's like choosing whether to perceive things as half empty or half full. There is no "right" answer to that, it's one's perceptions and decisions on how to act on thoughts/feelings.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
| FallingAme, NWgirl2013
|
|
#6
May 23, 2013, 02:39 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
"Death is easy, peaceful: Life is harder" "The Day You Turned On Me Is The Day I Died, And I've Forgotten What It's Like, And How It Feels To Be Alive" (Daughtry-Gone) "And you always want what you're running from. It's always been that way." Bittersweet Lyrics by Ellie Goulding "The reason I hold on, cause I need this hole gone." (Stay by Rihanna) "The opposite of love's indifference." (Stubborn Love, The Lumineers) |
|
#7
May 23, 2013, 04:19 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
ya i have struggled with this. prior to being diagnosed with adhd, i was having serious social issues. i couldn't understand why i didn't fit in, which meant i tried all the harder. i felt like no one liked me when i was just myself (and they probably didn't- i was impulsive, i interrupted people, i was blunt, etc), so i tried to be someone i wasn't. that didn't work out well either. i tell ya, the correct diagnosis is key!
__________________
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain.  
|
|
#8
May 23, 2013, 07:21 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I pretend to be someone else not so someone will like me but more as a defense mechanism. I don't really care if someone likes me or not. I used to when I was younger but not anymore. I no longer have that need. A lot of people don't understand mental illness and don't know much about it and it is widely still stigmatized mainly due to the lack of understanding. I know who I can share that with and who I can't. Also a lot of people are just out for themselves and therefore I am not giving them any more information about me than absolutely necessary. Also there are a lot of things about me and my past I just don't want people to know. All these things considered, I act accordingly in different situations. Mostly I just pretend to not have any problems and a peachy keen life because when it comes down to it most don't care anyway.
|
| NWgirl2013
|
|
#9
May 23, 2013, 07:33 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I am always myself. I look at it as presenting yourself in ways to suit whomever you are with. I am like an onion....aren't all people?
Only some people get to see very many layers. I can't be alone in this. Am I?
__________________
It only takes a moment to be kind ~ |
| Cherry73
|
|
#10
May 23, 2013, 07:39 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Some of my ideas, opinions, and morals are mine and I won't budge on them, but I am BPD and like a lot of BPDs, I lack a definitive identity. When in a group or with people for any length of time, my identity begins to mold in to theirs. I start talking like them and acting like them, doing things that I wouldn't have ever done on my own. I would have denied doing this a few years ago, but I've observed myself and it does happen with both individuals and groups. I don't know if it's bad or not...it's just the way I am.
|
 NWgirl2013
|
|
#11
May 23, 2013, 07:44 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
You are not alone NWgirl2013.
|
| NWgirl2013
|
|
#12
May 24, 2013, 02:16 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I don't feel I have to be someone I'm not to get people to like me, because quite frankly, I couldn't give a damn if people don't like me.
But, I do behave differently with different people and situations. I think to some degree that's quite normal and most people adapt to suit a situation, for example - you're unlikely to behave the same way at work as if you were on a night out. But I have found I seem to completely change at times. But not purposely so people like me. |
|
#13
May 24, 2013, 04:14 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Quote:
But in professional life, yes, I do certain things to fit in better. I have to fake things, to some extent. I think most people do. I mean, most people who have boring jobs fake at least some enthusiasm about the subject matter of their jobs... no? |
|
#14
May 24, 2013, 08:16 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves." ~The Buddha
|
|
#15
May 24, 2013, 09:04 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves." ~The Buddha
|
|
#16
May 24, 2013, 09:25 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
"We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves." ~The Buddha
|
| hamster-bamster
|
|
#17
May 26, 2013, 07:25 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I know that I don't really act like myself, but I'm not really sure how to act. I don't know how to be myself.
|
|
#18
May 26, 2013, 03:54 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
TinyRabbit had the best response. Just be yourself. I know that sounds cliché, but isn't it exhausting to always have to put on a façade and pretend to be someone you're not? Most people can tell when you're not being your true self. Sometimes it might take them time to figure this out, but unless you are really good at concealing your emotions, it's better to just be yourself. Anyone worth knowing will accept you as you are. If they can't, then to hell with them.
|
|
#19
May 26, 2013, 05:51 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
|
| 5678scream
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
