[Elektra_]

i dunno what i want with this but i feel like telling someone even though is quite stupid.

so in December i decided to join a friendship chat (most sex than friendship) caz is the only way i have to "socialize". its rare to find a guy that doesnt want sex but once in a while they appear.. late march i met this guy there, intelligent, funny, witty.. just how i like a man to be. hes a gemini. he used to flirt a lot, he would always ask to see me on skype (he thought i was cute) and asked lots of times to meet me in person. one day i decided to say yes to meet him and gezz wtf was that?? he was never too affectionate online but in person? he was soooo damn cold, he didnt flirt, there was no connection even though i was the same girl he met online (funny, messing with him,...). i commented about his behavior and he just blamed not having slept much... even though afterwards he went with his "friends" to a dinner/drinks. he kept saying the date "was cool". i thought after the date he would use my number (he never sent msgs or even call me) that didnt happen. i read wayyy too many pages online to try figure out how gemini man works and what i read was they do not connect with anyone, lie/cheat, and want new things ALL the time (IM NOT trying to offend any gemini is just what i read). he desappears once in while without even saying anything which he knows pisses me off and recently all i had from him was indifference (he says hes like that with everyone, even ruin last relationship bc the way he is).

i dunno what happened there but most likely he was just screwing with me (since he thinks hes the last cookie of the package) and got me all into him. this Wednesday i almost had an accident (lost control of my car gladly didnt hit anything/one) do u think he cared?? nah
i never met such empty idiot like him. therefore i told him it was enough, he made me fool but was my own fault. said bye and bloked him on skype. you think till today he even sent a msg to ask waht hapened????? of course not

im freaking mad that i like him or i just liked the idea of FINALLY having someone to love me. im just an idiot and seems to pretentious of me wanting to have a freaking bf

[hamster-bamster]

I think you should make character judgments on a case by case rather than generalize based on the signs of Zodiac.

Good luck.

[BonnieG2010]

Can I be honest?
What about if he simply did not like 'the sight' of you and did not have the courage to tell? So he just made some excuses.

In my opinion is as simple as that.

And btw, don't think that no one will like you. This depends a lot on the person that you are facing. Sometimes they do get a click, but you don't. Sometimes you do but he doesn't. Some other times the both of you get the click and that's what you are looking for

[seeker1950]

I agree with Hamster, first of all: forget the Zodiac analysis.

I used to meet men online, then in person, at a restaurant, etc. My opinion, after quite too much of this trying, putting myself out there for scrutiny, is that this sort of thing is like a "meat market." In most cases, you are being sized up based upon physical appearance, initially, despite having what you perceived as a "bond" of some sort prior to the face-to-face meeting. I do not mean to suggest that ALL meetings are like this, but I had my share of the scrutinizing first meeting, and I finally had enough of it!

This man you describe...sounds very deceptive. Who knows what his real-life situation truly is. He could be married! Or he could be some kind of shallow cad who is looking for an easy score. You just can't know because people on the internet can pretend to be anything and everything.

You are certainly NOT pretentious or idiotic for wanting a boyfriend. The website on which you met this fella...didn't you say friendship chat, but more sex than friend? That doesn't sound like a place to meet people of quality! If you want to meet people with honesty and integrity, perhaps investigate other sites. I can't recommend any, since the sites I belonged to were "reputable," and I still had bad experiences.

[Elektra_]

Originally Posted by BonnieG2010

Can I be honest?
What about if he simply did not like 'the sight' of you and did not have the courage to tell? So he just made some excuses.

In my opinion is as simple as that.

And btw, don't think that no one will like you. This depends a lot on the person that you are facing. Sometimes they do get a click, but you don't. Sometimes you do but he doesn't. Some other times the both of you get the click and that's what you are looking for

of course u can. i dunno exactly what u mean... physically he liked me, now he could not like the way i express myself or wtv. i noticed he was nervous caz hands were shaking a bit iin the beginning so i dunno if it wasnt that but nevertheless he became more cold. i did tell him i was expecting more and he was surprised. and no no one ver liked me. thanks for input.

[Elektra_]

Originally Posted by seeker1950

I agree with Hamster, first of all: forget the Zodiac analysis.

I used to meet men online, then in person, at a restaurant, etc. My opinion, after quite too much of this trying, putting myself out there for scrutiny, is that this sort of thing is like a "meat market." In most cases, you are being sized up based upon physical appearance, initially, despite having what you perceived as a "bond" of some sort prior to the face-to-face meeting. I do not mean to suggest that ALL meetings are like this, but I had my share of the scrutinizing first meeting, and I finally had enough of it!

This man you describe...sounds very deceptive. Who knows what his real-life situation truly is. He could be married! Or he could be some kind of shallow cad who is looking for an easy score. You just can't know because people on the internet can pretend to be anything and everything.

You are certainly NOT pretentious or idiotic for wanting a boyfriend. The website on which you met this fella...didn't you say friendship chat, but more sex than friend? That doesn't sound like a place to meet people of quality! If you want to meet people with honesty and integrity, perhaps investigate other sites. I can't recommend any, since the sites I belonged to were "reputable," and I still had bad experiences.

hi. thing is we both used to show jealousy towards each other, he would ask about my previews relationships and whatnot.. so i THINK we had a connection and interest in one another. hes not married, we used to talk everyday till late ours and see each other in video-call. i used to call him heartless and last time we spoke he was hes like that with everyone so i dunno. just wish he was honest with me like i was with him.
ya i didnt know this chats were like this but many say is everywhere. so i stayed since once in while some decent guy would appear.

thing is i keep checking my cell to see if he cared enough to send a msg but of course nothing! i feel like unblocking him on skype and i SHOULDNT but im a moron

First of all, you're not pretentious and you're certainly not idiotic. How were you to know that he would be like this in person? You had no warning in all your conversations did you? Please don't blame yourself as we can't control other's actions.

Whatever reason he had why he behaved this way, be it nerves (then avoiding you out of embarrassment), changing his mind or just being a strange man, they don't really matter in the end. He's treated you badly, and although it's hard when a person doesn't explain their actions I think that the best thing is to put him out of your mind - you deserve better than someone who plays games. Much better. Hold your head up high!

I hope you won't blame yourself, and try to move on - please be kind to yourself.

Hugs.

By the way, as a gemini, I won't hold your comments against you! And nah, I think its nothing to do with star sign, he's just behaved badly.

[Leed]

Hon, I seriously doubt that he didn't like the LOOKS of you since he SAW you on SKYPE!!! So how could that have been the case!

I have to agree about the Zodiac. I just don't believe in that stuff -- I've seen all too many cases where it didn't make any sense at all. I'm an Aries, and nothing it says EVER pertains to me at all! I'm just NOT the "usual" Aries type!
So you can't rely on that!

You know, it could have been something as simple as he had a rotten day, and he was too embarrassed to say anything about it later on. Who knows? We are all 'strange people" in our own way. It may have had NOTHING to do with you at all.

But whatever the case, do NOT blame yourself. You obviously did nothing wrong, since you didn't put on any airs -- you were just yourself. Just chalk it up to a bad experience, and hope it doesn't happen again. God bless you dear friend, and take care of YOU. Hugs, Lee

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Elektra_

he would always ask to see me on skype (he thought i was cute)

I agree with Lee - he did like you, in terms of appearance.

Originally Posted by Elektra_

i commented about his behavior and he just blamed not having slept much... even though afterwards he went with his "friends" to a dinner/drinks.

I could see myself in his shoes. When I am underslept, the first half of the day that follows being underslept is AWFUL, but towards the later part of the afternoon, I become more like my real self. I am more or less fine now with sleep, but back when I had really serious sleep issues (+ depression ==> hypersomnia = no fun at all), I did not schedule any appointments or interviews in the AM at all.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Elektra_

he thought i was cute

I realize it is not exactly where you intended the thread to go, but as a note in passing, I personally consider the adjective "cute" offensive. I mean, a slightly off color remark such as a "cute bum" is permissible, but to the extent that he referred to your FACE, it was, in my book, offensive. Pretty, beautiful, good looking, gorgeous, attractive, etc. etc. are fine, but "cute" is condescending and demeaning (in my book), so if somebody were to call me "cute", I would call it quits.

[Elektra_]

Originally Posted by riotgrrrl

First of all, you're not pretentious and you're certainly not idiotic. How were you to know that he would be like this in person? You had no warning in all your conversations did you? Please don't blame yourself as we can't control other's actions.

Whatever reason he had why he behaved this way, be it nerves (then avoiding you out of embarrassment), changing his mind or just being a strange man, they don't really matter in the end. He's treated you badly, and although it's hard when a person doesn't explain their actions I think that the best thing is to put him out of your mind - you deserve better than someone who plays games. Much better. Hold your head up high!

I hope you won't blame yourself, and try to move on - please be kind to yourself.

Hugs.

By the way, as a gemini, I won't hold your comments against you! And nah, I think its nothing to do with star sign, he's just behaved badly.

hi. thats the real issue... i always want a justification and usually i cant move on if i dont have that. i thought we were both interested. i dunno what the hell hapened... thanks

[Elektra_]

Originally Posted by Leed

Hon, I seriously doubt that he didn't like the LOOKS of you since he SAW you on SKYPE!!! So how could that have been the case!

I have to agree about the Zodiac. I just don't believe in that stuff -- I've seen all too many cases where it didn't make any sense at all. I'm an Aries, and nothing it says EVER pertains to me at all! I'm just NOT the "usual" Aries type!
So you can't rely on that!

You know, it could have been something as simple as he had a rotten day, and he was too embarrassed to say anything about it later on. Who knows? We are all 'strange people" in our own way. It may have had NOTHING to do with you at all.

But whatever the case, do NOT blame yourself. You obviously did nothing wrong, since you didn't put on any airs -- you were just yourself. Just chalk it up to a bad experience, and hope it doesn't happen again. God bless you dear friend, and take care of YOU. Hugs, Lee

hi. yeah i was the same i was in skype, personality wise. and he would always say he liked me caz i was funny and smart sooooo go figure... thanks

[Elektra_]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I realize it is not exactly where you intended the thread to go, but as a note in passing, I personally consider the adjective "cute" offensive. I mean, a slightly off color remark such as a "cute bum" is permissible, but to the extent that he referred to your FACE, it was, in my book, offensive. Pretty, beautiful, good looking, gorgeous, attractive, etc. etc. are fine, but "cute" is condescending and demeaning (in my book), so if somebody were to call me "cute", I would call it quits.

hi u actually made me laugh :P i do think the same i put cute but i should have put beautiful lololol and he would stare at me and smile like he was enchanted with me... anyway his loss

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Elektra_

hi u actually made me laugh :P i do think the same i put cute but i should have put beautiful lololol and he would stare at me and smile like he was enchanted with me... anyway his loss

I am glad you and I have the same book! Yes, his loss, but at least you now know that you DO have the power to enchant!

[Elektra_]

who am i kidding?? i miss him!! and he couldnt care less..

hamster have i that power? apparently i didnt otherwise he would give a damn about me not talking to him. who cares if im pretty? no one wants me anyway...

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Elektra_

who am i kidding?? i miss him!! and he couldnt care less..

hamster have i that power?

You are on your way to acquiring the full power of enchanting and bewitching.

Meaning - you are not yet a magician, since you are still in training.

It will get better!

[seeker1950]

You can waste a lot of emotional energy wondering WHY about such a man. Be glad it didn't go further, I say. Move on and count yourself lucky!
You will meet someone special in the future.

[Elektra_]

its official im an idiot. soo had him removed from skype (this thing suckssss btw) and yesterday i put him in my contacts again to see if he had left at least a msg there. he wasnt online and no msg. i blocked him. today i decided to go invisible and se if he was online and as soon as i unblocked him he went offline!!! could he see me??? quite a coincidence no?
and i was experimenting when we exclude someone it shows a "?" with the contact therefore he must know i added him AGAIN. im such and IDIOT

[BonnieG2010]

I don't know about being idiot.

But I know that you are wasting your time thinking so much about him.
How about something new and more exciting to keep your mind busy?

[Elektra_]

i have no life so i have tons of time to think about him...

[BonnieG2010]

Hey hey hey!!!! Everybody has a life!!
You must be nicer to yourself!!

Originally Posted by Elektra_

i have no life so i have tons of time to think about him...

In my best mumsy voice, "now I'll have none of that nonsense young lady"! In all seriousness tho, I think that's your hurt speaking. You've been hurt and its totally understandable.

You've hit the nail on the head tho, you've too much time to think about him. So what's the answer? Distraction, get yourself busy! It doesn't do anyone any good to cyber stalk as it keeps the pain alive.. and can I be honest? The man is just not worth this feeling bad, feeling bad about yourself. No man is worth this, especially one who treated you rotten. Please let him go - he doesn't deserve another moment of your thoughts and effort.

Please be kind to yourself - and no life? Now's the time to get out there and make one.

Hugs.

[Elektra_]

i have nothing going on in my life.. no friends, job or anything so yeah is pretty lifeless. that chat and people i meet there is all i have to fill my day sooo...

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by Elektra_

i have nothing going on in my life.. no friends, job or anything so yeah is pretty lifeless. that chat and people i meet there is all i have to fill my day sooo...

how do you support yourself without any job?

[Elektra_]

maybe i live with my parents? lol