[SallyStarFish21]

So, when I was about 14-15 I started dating this guy and he was 17-18. It was online and my mother knew his uncle and had introduced us. I was very flattered and happy that an older guy liked me.
We had been together for maybe about 2 months and he started asking me for certain inappropriate pictures and when I said no he started to not talk to me and ignore me. When this happened, thinking that I was in love, I sent him one. He constantly started asking me and I got fed up and told him no. We had been talking about him coming to visit me during the summer.
Well, one night I had just got back from a choir concert we had a voicemail on our answering machine from my sister for me to call her. I called her before I even changed out of my dress. Apparently my boyfriend had also been flirting and talking to my now ex friend and her best friend too. The best friend had bragged to my sister thinking my sister hated me. He had been making plans with my friends best friend to meet up in a hotel room when he came to visit me. Needless to say I was very depressed but I remember my mom had also been talking with my boyfriend too. I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach and signed into her yahoo.
Sure enough I found nude pictures of herself sent to him and nude pictures of him to her along with emails back and forth.. I fell further into depression but told nobody what happened. Not even the counselor that my mom made me go to. I started cutting but with a sewing needle. I liked the pain but it would not draw blood, the cuts would heal fast.
One of my friends noticed how I had become. She had me join a fun website for role playing and talking to new people. I am still a member and I am now 21. But, I met a lot of nice people.
Things had started looking up and I had started to become really good friends with this one guy. He knew everything about what had happened with my ex. We started dating and I was on top of the world.
We were together for about 2 years when I started talking to his friends on the phone with them. He had told me he was 2 years older than me and had told me his name.
His friends knocked my world down when they told me that he was in fact 2 years younger and he had lied about his name. He said he had a reason at the time when we first got together and hadn't thought we were going to last that long.
I kinda let it go but we started arguing about little things and kept breaking up every couple months or so. We broke up a final time. I once again went into depression. Started the cutting again but not as bad as the last time.
I made a new friend that started to pull me back out. He and I knew each other for about 8-9 months when we started to slowly go into a relationship without realizing it.
We have been dating for close to 2 and a half years. Major bridges have been crossed and lots of pain. He told me about 2 weeks ago that during this whole time he has been dating somebody else... needless to say we have been broke up for about 2 days and I have no idea what to do. I'm trying so hard not to fall back into that deep place. It's really hard. Anybody have any advice?

[gayleggg]

I'm so sorry you have had such bad luck with guys. It really sucks. I think it would be a good idea if you sought counseling, considering you have been cutting in the past. You don't want to go there again. I used to cut and it was really hard to give up once I started. It took counseling to teach better ways to cope with emotional pain.
Wishing you the best. And good for you for not taking that kind of treatment. You deserve better.
Gayle

[SallyStarFish21]

Thanks Gayle . It does feel like I have really bad luck of the pick. My friend that joined here and had me join with him has been helping me a lot the past couple months. I've been to counselors and I'm not sure I guess talking to him didn't help much, I would get all nervous and wouldn't be able to say anything. When I talk to my friend he gets me to feel better. About the cutting I have promised 2 of my friends that I would never do it again and to talk to them if I ever feel the urge to.

Wow, you've been very unlucky. The first guy was not a good man especially... you poor thing. I am glad you got out of that one tho.

Please keep strong, and please talk to your friends if you do feel like cutting again. You sound like you've a couple of awesome friends there :-) And... I wonder if it's worth taking some time out from dating? Let yourself heal, be kind to you - and work on making your own life a happier one. You're young, kick back and enjoy your pals.

Big hugs..

[avlady]

Yes get yourself together before you enter into any more relationships, that's not what you need right now, you need to heal your heart. Your friends sound helpful, you seem happy with them, keep talking before you cut, nobody wants you to hurt yourself, it's too risky, you could die from it too. Now that you've been through all this c### you can handle almost anything and you've gotten stronger because of it and if you feel symptoms coming on you can catch yourself and go in the hospital or talk to doctor and T and deal with those symptoms.Good Luck and have a great day!!I'll pray for you too!!!

[SallyStarFish21]

I'll try what you guys have said about the relationships and being alone for awhile and thank you. Yeah my friends are pretty special, we are all three kind of misfits so we go together well. I haven't cut in I think almost a year now and instead of it I either have cried it all out or listened to loud music alone. That was one of my big problems, I didn't let myself cry it all out.