It's a jungle out here.

So, my parents aren't exactly the "happy couple" they used to be when i was little... my dad's become violent, and yells all the time at my mum, and he's well a total jerk.... To the point of i no longer actually consider him a "dad". They've talked about splitting up, but then my dad actually apologised for his behaviour! (something he would not do usually.) he treats my mum and i like we're dirt and worthless. In fact he's actually told me that i will never amount to anything in this life, and that i will be the "bag lady" forever and will never be able to take care of myself... yet, my sister is the "perfect little angel that can't do any wrong in his eyes" i then dated someone who was very much like him,(abusive and all) but WORSE!....
the thing is, i worry SOOO MUCH about becoming like them... My current boyfriend and I have had a wonderful relationship, and i worry about treating him like i've been treated in the past, even though he and a good friend of mine constantly tell me i wont. My other problem, since high school, i've had severe mood swings, and lately they've been getting worse... to the point of yelling at my bf to just leave me alone, and then within a few minutes i'm texting him telling him some crazy plan im gonna do with him, and it gets hard b/c he doesn't understand why this is happening, and quite frankly, neither do i, nor can i even communicate to him what;s going on with me, and even how im feeling. we want to get married, and that's a mutual thing, but i dont want to have a kid of my own-just adopt- annnd, he does, and i just dont know what should i say to make him understand. i know this may sound crazy or whatnot but way i see it, he'd be just the sperm donor during those 9 months whereas i may go through agony during that time span. its not like he'd be going through labour and giving birth to the child!

Though, you May not, turn out,to be like your parents,,please be careful with this push/pull pattern that is forming with your new bf?

How long, since you've dated your abusive exbf? Did you seek counseling, for it's lingering effects on you? Friends are great, to have, too, don't get me wrong, but there's little things of a therapeutic nature that a trained/skilled professional can help resolve. And, though friends aren't burdens, to one another, it's much to ask them, to tend to family/relationship wounds. For instance, you May need stitches, not a bandaid. Both helpful, but you'd turn to a medic, for stitches. Then your friends and bf, can help change gauze, or bandaid(depending on size of the wound)



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I agree that counseling would be a good idea for you. It would help to see what's going on with you and your mood swings. Then since you and your bf disagree on children it would be a good idea to get couples counseling. That is a major issue in marriage.

I'm going to see a counselor at school tomorrow, and suposedly my mom is making me an apt 2 see a dr for ppl on our insurance plan close to where i live.

I'm glad to hear that. Hope you get the help you need.

It's been 7 years since i've dated him. I am currently seeing a counselor, and am seeing her every week. I only ask my friend things for comfort, because he understands and knows me better than my family does. All i really ask him is for listening. and offer suggestions for my next step to take. and i always thank him for it, and he always says "that's what friends are for."