[albert.anthony81]

I took some folks advice here and got back into adult films, and I must say it took care of the problem of me constantly having "wood" all day long, which I am tired of moaning about in this forum.

At the same time, I am not proud of having to use that method for relief.. and makes me still desirous for a partner. last night I tried this thing you girls call "me time" and I hated it.. I watched a nice comedy but I really wanted a girl cuddled up next to me and watching together!

Also, being in my 30s I like the idea of a partner, not an adult film... for practical reasons like sharing rent. Coming home to her and not to a cold empty house or roommates. Or if not sharing a lease, at least having her over often. Cook together, cuddle, massage, etc.

So... I am gonna try Online Dating again since many girls here have said they do not like being approached Offline in public because of safety reasons and a creep factor they have built in their heads somehow. But here are many questions about what I have encountered now and in the past online, and my thought process in BOLD:

1) why do you girls put as your top things you cannot do without to be Friends, Iphone, Family...
WHERE AM I IN THIS PICTURE?? AT BACK OF THE LINE?

2) why so much emphasis on the fact that you are "work hard, play hard", "highly educated and driven", and "have a crazy work week"?
DO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TIME FOR A GUY?? WHY SHOULD I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THOSE THINGS... I AM EDUCATED TOO BUT NOT CONSUMED BY THOSE THINGS!

3) why do you not mention what you would do for your man, and for the overall larger relationship... to build and nurture it?
WHY SHOULD I BE MOTIVATED THEN TO CONTACT YOU?

4) when emailing each other, why are so many girls either "out of town", "have a crazy week this week", or seem to work 2 jobs and school?
SHOULD I NOT COUNT ON YOU TO BE THERE FOR ME AND FOR US VERY OFTEN?? ARE YOU ANOTHER LITTLE PRINCESS IN HER OWN WORLD?? WHY IS EVERY WEEK SO DARN "CRAZY"??? MINE ARENT!

5) why do they say "just seeing whats out there. I prefer friends first and see where it goes. If you want a hookup, then keep moving."
IS THIS FACEBOOK OR A DATING SITE?? OF COURSE I WANT TO HOOKUP, BUT WITH YOU NOT WITH EVERY GIRL ON HERE... HENCE WHY I WROTE TO YOU AND NOT TO ANYONE ELSE!! YOU SHOULD FIND IT CUTE, NOT ANNOYING.

6) why do they post shots with them and another guy.. sometimes a gay bestie or just a guy friend?
THIS IS SOOOOO UNATTRACTIVE. AS A MALE CAT.. I DONT LIKE OTHER MALE CATS IN MY TERRITORY THAT I AM SCOPING OUT. THAT IS THAT.

7) why do we have great connection by email, text, and phone.. and much in common.. and find each other cute.. but in person 8 out of 10 times they end up "not feeling a connection, sorry."
THIS DRIVES ME CRAZY. YOU PUT IN ALL THAT EFFORT AND THINK IT IS GOING GREAT AND THEN THEIR STUPID GUT "FEELING" TAKES OVER. GRRRR

8) how do I really compete when they are getting 100s of emails?
9) after our "date",, they will go home and check their inbox and rinse/repeat again usually... how do I truly nail them down and keep their attention?

10) finally... why do they write a friggin NOVEL in their profile.. dude, just tell me the key points that let me get to know you!! And write it targeted to your audience.. a SINGLE GUY! Stop writing it like you are on a job interview or trying to impress other girls. Who do you think your audience is? Be playful and flirty... because you have competition too and do not think you are "special" and there is no other girl out there.

I feel like thank god for adult films... the above process is a CHORE!!!!!

[A Red Panda]

Originally Posted by albert.anthony81

I took some folks advice here and got back into adult films, and I must say it took care of the problem of me constantly having "wood" all day long, which I am tired of moaning about in this forum.

At the same time, I am not proud of having to use that method for relief.. and makes me still desirous for a partner. last night I tried this thing you girls call "me time" and I hated it.. I watched a nice comedy but I really wanted a girl cuddled up next to me and watching together!

Good job, you have joined the rest of the world. You had an erection, you dealt with it. Now you will get to do that again and again until you happen to be in a relationship with a willing participant. Very few people prefer to be single to being in a relationship. Join the club.

Also, being in my 30s I like the idea of a partner, not an adult film... for practical reasons like sharing rent. Coming home to her and not to a cold empty house or roommates. Or if not sharing a lease, at least having her over often. Cook together, cuddle, massage, etc.

So... I am gonna try Online Dating again since many girls here have said they do not like being approached Offline in public because of safety reasons and a creep factor they have built in their heads somehow. But here are many questions about what I have encountered now and in the past online, and my thought process in BOLD:

1) why do you girls put as your top things you cannot do without to be Friends, Iphone, Family...
WHERE AM I IN THIS PICTURE?? AT BACK OF THE LINE?
Yes, you are at the back of line. Why would a stranger come before someone that someone has known for years and years? You have to work your way up that line.

2) why so much emphasis on the fact that you are "work hard, play hard", "highly educated and driven", and "have a crazy work week"?
DO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TIME FOR A GUY?? WHY SHOULD I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THOSE THINGS... I AM EDUCATED TOO BUT NOT CONSUMED BY THOSE THINGS!
That's because you are consumed with your obsession with sex and your feelings of entitlement.... Women are letting you know that they have lives, they are trying to be polite and go "I'm not available every single day" and they are demonstrating that they are highly educated and driven because clearly those are something they want to have in common with someone.

3) why do you not mention what you would do for your man, and for the overall larger relationship... to build and nurture it?
WHY SHOULD I BE MOTIVATED THEN TO CONTACT YOU?
You should be interested in what you have learned about them. Sorry, but unless you're joining a sex-site, no one is going to say what they will do with you and when. No one can predict the future. If you aren't interested in them - then don't contact them! Simple!

4) when emailing each other, why are so many girls either "out of town", "have a crazy week this week", or seem to work 2 jobs and school?
SHOULD I NOT COUNT ON YOU TO BE THERE FOR ME AND FOR US VERY OFTEN?? ARE YOU ANOTHER LITTLE PRINCESS IN HER OWN WORLD?? WHY IS EVERY WEEK SO DARN "CRAZY"??? MINE ARENT!
Perhaps because.... they are out of town or have a busy week! "Another little princess in her own world" is utterly sexist btw. If your week isn't busy then good for you - but you do seem to spend 24/7 on the hunt for sex, so that is busy in a way.... and if you aren't every busy - then do something else with your life. And perhaps they are working all of those jobs because they are trying to get promoted, or, oh, because the job market is crap and they probably aren't doing what they're qualified for or can't quite make ends meet.


5) why do they say "just seeing whats out there. I prefer friends first and see where it goes. If you want a hookup, then keep moving."
IS THIS FACEBOOK OR A DATING SITE?? OF COURSE I WANT TO HOOKUP, BUT WITH YOU NOT WITH EVERY GIRL ON HERE... HENCE WHY I WROTE TO YOU AND NOT TO ANYONE ELSE!! YOU SHOULD FIND IT CUTE, NOT ANNOYING.
This is them letting you know that your sense of entitlement won't be tolerated. They're saying very clearly "I'm not having sex with you right away and if you think that is what will be happening then get lost." and they are saying "I'm not having sex with someone that I do not know and have emotions towards." And HOW are they to know that you only emailed them? That's riduculous. And it is NOT up to you to determine how someone else interprets your actions and words. If someone finds you annoying, then they find you annoying. And they ARE AWARE of the fact that it's a dating site - but they don't want to be used and are being clear about their intentions.

6) why do they post shots with them and another guy.. sometimes a gay bestie or just a guy friend?
THIS IS SOOOOO UNATTRACTIVE. AS A MALE CAT.. I DONT LIKE OTHER MALE CATS IN MY TERRITORY THAT I AM SCOPING OUT. THAT IS THAT.

That's your problem, not theirs. Get over yourself and your jealousy. See how putting up that picture of them with another guy can quickly turn away the selfish ones? You have ZERO control over what she does with her time or her life and you are NOT entitled to having her cater to your desires.

7) why do we have great connection by email, text, and phone.. and much in common.. and find each other cute.. but in person 8 out of 10 times they end up "not feeling a connection, sorry."
THIS DRIVES ME CRAZY. YOU PUT IN ALL THAT EFFORT AND THINK IT IS GOING GREAT AND THEN THEIR STUPID GUT "FEELING" TAKES OVER. GRRRR

That would most likely be because you play games and try to say what you think will get you into their pants the quickest. Then they meet you, and see through all the fakeness. And how is emailing back and forth and that really taking up THAT much effort? If that's too much effort for you... that's your problem again. That's how relationships work. They don't always work out.

8) how do I really compete when they are getting 100s of emails?
Be a decent person. For all they know, you're getting 100s of emails too.

9) after our "date",, they will go home and check their inbox and rinse/repeat again usually... how do I truly nail them down and keep their attention?
Be a decent person. If they don't feel a connection with you, then you can't change that. Over and done. Move on to the next person.

10) finally... why do they write a friggin NOVEL in their profile.. dude, just tell me the key points that let me get to know you!! And write it targeted to your audience.. a SINGLE GUY! Stop writing it like you are on a job interview or trying to impress other girls. Who do you think your audience is? Be playful and flirty... because you have competition too and do not think you are "special" and there is no other girl out there.
Because they are not a piece of meat and they are not a sex slave, and they want to make sure that they guys they do meet with actually KNOW something about them. This way, it makes that whole process quicker and both parties can tell if they are interested or not. The more you know from the beginning, the less time you will waste on each other if there is no connection. And don't tell women how to act - that is not your place. Not all women are playful and flirty, and they don't all want to act like they're stupid or robots.

If you aren't interested in them - then MOVE ON. There will be many others out there who actually will be interested in her, and the point is to find one who does consider you special. Women aren't robots - we're not programmable like you seem to think. They aren't going to cater to your whims because they want to meet someone who they will be compatable with naturally.

I feel like thank god for adult films... the above process is a CHORE!!!!!

You should post all of those questions in your online dating profile. You'll definitely weed out all those women who want to have any sort of emotional connection. That will make it a lot easier for you - only the ones who have a similar mindset to you will reply.

[Ms.Beeblebrox]

Hi Anthony,

I've been following your threads for a while now. I actually remember you from several months ago, when you had a different profile. I'm pretty sure it was you, because issues and many details were exactly the same back then, even profile name was similar (don't ask me why my brain would hold on to the info like that, it just does sometimes).

I see that this situation is ongoing and bothers you a lot, so I will try my best to help. But I must apologize in advance if I am being harsh.

Fist, to answer your questions about dating sites. I've never used them but have many friends who did, so I know something about the topic.

You ask why girls present themselves as super busy and consumed with careers, school, friends, etc. There are at least two reasons known to me:

1. They actually are.

Women need to pay rent and buy food too and it's hard to make a living these days, so for many it does become a priority, same as for men. Also, women are naturally more social and value their connections. It is normal and healthy and in most cases doesn't stand in the way of romance but helps it. You wouldn't want to be the only one to whom she tells and retells all her problems and grievances, would you?

2. They don't want to appear needy and pathetic.

Opening a dating profile takes a lot of courage from an average girl. It is not very natural for a woman to actively look for a male attention, even these days. Women want to appear well situated in life and desired by others, so potential partner wouldn't misinterpret their being on the site as a sign that no one in RL wants them. That is why women highlight their professional accomplishments and rich social life. Why is it so intimidating for you? You DO NOT need to compete with those things for her attention. Believe me, if the girls likes you, you won't find yourself short of her attentions

Now, couple things I really wanted to comment on from your other threads. You constantly ask why girls behave in a certain why towards you, why they appear disinterested in you and preoccupied with other things when you try to talk to them, why they do not welcome your sexual attention. Well, I am a girl, your age actually, know tons of other girls so I feel qualified to answer. I'm sorry if my opinion upsets you.

The real reason why the girls are like that, is because THEY DON"T LIKE YOU. Not every other guy, but YOU. There is something in you that repels most women. Maybe it is physical, but most likely it's something deeper rooted. Believe me, if the girl likes you she will go out of her way to attract attention, flirt, chat, etc. I know guys who moan that they can't get a break from girls who try to chat THEM up all the time

Of course I might be wrong, but even if I'm right, it's not the end of the world. Most women are not ALL women. There is a girl that will like you very much, I believe there is someone for everyone. Just keep looking, don't become bitter and don't despair. And please don't hate on all women, they aren't responsible for your happiness, don't have to like you or do anything for you, they are just doing their best to get by, same as you.

[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by albert.anthony81

I took some folks advice here and got back into adult films, and I must say it took care of the problem of me constantly having "wood" all day long, which I am tired of moaning about in this forum.

At the same time, I am not proud of having to use that method for relief.. and makes me still desirous for a partner. last night I tried this thing you girls call "me time" and I hated it.. I watched a nice comedy but I really wanted a girl cuddled up next to me and watching together!

Also, being in my 30s I like the idea of a partner, not an adult film... for practical reasons like sharing rent. Coming home to her and not to a cold empty house or roommates. Or if not sharing a lease, at least having her over often. Cook together, cuddle, massage, etc.

So... I am gonna try Online Dating again since many girls here have said they do not like being approached Offline in public because of safety reasons and a creep factor they have built in their heads somehow. But here are many questions about what I have encountered now and in the past online, and my thought process in BOLD:

1) why do you girls put as your top things you cannot do without to be Friends, Iphone, Family...
WHERE AM I IN THIS PICTURE?? AT BACK OF THE LINE?

2) why so much emphasis on the fact that you are "work hard, play hard", "highly educated and driven", and "have a crazy work week"?
DO YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TIME FOR A GUY?? WHY SHOULD I CARE SO MUCH ABOUT THOSE THINGS... I AM EDUCATED TOO BUT NOT CONSUMED BY THOSE THINGS!

3) why do you not mention what you would do for your man, and for the overall larger relationship... to build and nurture it?
WHY SHOULD I BE MOTIVATED THEN TO CONTACT YOU?

4) when emailing each other, why are so many girls either "out of town", "have a crazy week this week", or seem to work 2 jobs and school?
SHOULD I NOT COUNT ON YOU TO BE THERE FOR ME AND FOR US VERY OFTEN?? ARE YOU ANOTHER LITTLE PRINCESS IN HER OWN WORLD?? WHY IS EVERY WEEK SO DARN "CRAZY"??? MINE ARENT!

5) why do they say "just seeing whats out there. I prefer friends first and see where it goes. If you want a hookup, then keep moving."
IS THIS FACEBOOK OR A DATING SITE?? OF COURSE I WANT TO HOOKUP, BUT WITH YOU NOT WITH EVERY GIRL ON HERE... HENCE WHY I WROTE TO YOU AND NOT TO ANYONE ELSE!! YOU SHOULD FIND IT CUTE, NOT ANNOYING.

6) why do they post shots with them and another guy.. sometimes a gay bestie or just a guy friend?
THIS IS SOOOOO UNATTRACTIVE. AS A MALE CAT.. I DONT LIKE OTHER MALE CATS IN MY TERRITORY THAT I AM SCOPING OUT. THAT IS THAT.

7) why do we have great connection by email, text, and phone.. and much in common.. and find each other cute.. but in person 8 out of 10 times they end up "not feeling a connection, sorry."
THIS DRIVES ME CRAZY. YOU PUT IN ALL THAT EFFORT AND THINK IT IS GOING GREAT AND THEN THEIR STUPID GUT "FEELING" TAKES OVER. GRRRR

8) how do I really compete when they are getting 100s of emails?
9) after our "date",, they will go home and check their inbox and rinse/repeat again usually... how do I truly nail them down and keep their attention?

10) finally... why do they write a friggin NOVEL in their profile.. dude, just tell me the key points that let me get to know you!! And write it targeted to your audience.. a SINGLE GUY! Stop writing it like you are on a job interview or trying to impress other girls. Who do you think your audience is? Be playful and flirty... because you have competition too and do not think you are "special" and there is no other girl out there.

I feel like thank god for adult films... the above process is a CHORE!!!!!

I am going to try and help you, but I am going to probably be blunt so I apologize if I offend you.

1.) You have to earn your spot as a top priority in someone's life. I'm sure it's that same way with you.

2.) Things that are important to your partner should become important to you. The emphasis on those things shows drive, drive is an important quality for many women.

3.) No woman should have to sell you on why to contact them, you're either interested or not.

4.) You sound like a bigot here and I hope that's not what you mean here. A woman would want you to become PART of their life, not become their life.

5.) Most men are scum bags on dating sites, the problem is not that you're interested physically, but it shouldn't be your only interest.

6.) It's a picture, get over it.

7.) Common interest does not equal chemistry. If she doesn't feel that with you, would you rather her pretend to and string you along?

8.) You just be yourself. The world of online dating is full of this, if you don't like it don't do it.

9.) Give them something that they don't think they can get elsewhere. And don't expect exclusivity after one meeting.

10.) They want you to know who they are. Get over it.

Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk

[albert.anthony81]

Ok I am listening..
so how would you ladies here prefer that I talk to a girl online? or offline? how should I pursue them? how should I show interest without her finding it creeperish or "sexist" and "objectifying"? Where should I go to meet such a girl.. or what type should I aim for?

And I want to make it CRYSTAL CLEAR... I am not understanding why so many here equate my wanting sex with somehow me feeling "entitled" to a womans body.... is the woman not there to enjoy the sex as well? Every partner I have had, ever, has Always benefited from that situation.. not just me. Last I checked, sex requires Both persons to orgasm. And isn't orgasm just as pleasurable for a girl as for I? So I am not getting why it is sexist, objectifying, or self-entitling on my part??? It is a two-way pleasure and ecstasy!!!!

I also want to make CLEAR that sex has different levels. I don't necessarily let a girl sleep overnight with me that quickly, simply because I move alot during sleep and cannot sleep with a partner in my bed.. until knowing them much longer. I tried once.. and it was a really bad nights sleep! So my point is, two people can agree to have "oral" stimulation, or even variations of massage... "dry" sex (to not be too blunt on a forum like this). It has much of the same effect in terms of pleasure and relief for BOTH... but without the risk or complications (STDs, pregnancy, etc.) .

And never do I remember having a partner that just laid there while I had all the benefit of the moment, taking advantage of her. In some cases the girl had alot more given to her than I received.

With that said..

perhaps girls in your part of the country are different. But in my area, YES THEY ARE VERY SELF-ABSORBED! Thinking you are somehow "above" having a boyfriend or don't need a man simply because you have a degree and make your own money, that to me is Entitlement! Not attractive.

Both sexes need each other... your man may be great at directions or fixing your car, while you may be great at giving him fashion advice! In the bedroom as well, it takes two to tango... as mentioned above.

So is it really asking alot to get some attention from a modern girl, to get her to open up to the idea of affection and physical contact, and more? I don't think I am really being that sexist or asking much at all.

[Anika.]

Ms.Beeblebox,

I also mentioned the familiarity of these posts and a user a while back. I have a huge memory too

[Angel of Bedlam]

Originally Posted by albert.anthony81

Ok I am listening..
so how would you ladies here prefer that I talk to a girl online? or offline? how should I pursue them? how should I show interest without her finding it creeperish or "sexist" and "objectifying"? Where should I go to meet such a girl.. or what type should I aim for?

And I want to make it CRYSTAL CLEAR... I am not understanding why so many here equate my wanting sex with somehow me feeling "entitled" to a womans body.... is the woman not there to enjoy the sex as well? Every partner I have had, ever, has Always benefited from that situation.. not just me. Last I checked, sex requires Both persons to orgasm. And isn't orgasm just as pleasurable for a girl as for I? So I am not getting why it is sexist, objectifying, or self-entitling on my part??? It is a two-way pleasure and ecstasy!!!!

I also want to make CLEAR that sex has different levels. I don't necessarily let a girl sleep overnight with me that quickly, simply because I move alot during sleep and cannot sleep with a partner in my bed.. until knowing them much longer. I tried once.. and it was a really bad nights sleep! So my point is, two people can agree to have "oral" stimulation, or even variations of massage... "dry" sex (to not be too blunt on a forum like this). It has much of the same effect in terms of pleasure and relief for BOTH... but without the risk or complications (STDs, pregnancy, etc.) .

And never do I remember having a partner that just laid there while I had all the benefit of the moment, taking advantage of her. In some cases the girl had alot more given to her than I received.

With that said..

perhaps girls in your part of the country are different. But in my area, YES THEY ARE VERY SELF-ABSORBED! Thinking you are somehow "above" having a boyfriend or don't need a man simply because you have a degree and make your own money, that to me is Entitlement! Not attractive.

Both sexes need each other... your man may be great at directions or fixing your car, while you may be great at giving him fashion advice! In the bedroom as well, it takes two to tango... as mentioned above.

So is it really asking alot to get some attention from a modern girl, to get her to open up to the idea of affection and physical contact, and more? I don't think I am really being that sexist or asking much at all.

Grr! You're so oblivious I just want to shake you! Ahahaha! I don't mean to laugh but it's just ridiculous to me.

Sex is not a business transaction- you don't go into it thinking that both parties benefit from it and that your "investment" physically should reap you rewards. This attitude may be a large reason why you aren't getting laid by the "modern woman."

My suggestion to you is to show genuine interest in someone and to not be motivated by selfish goals, no matter how beneficial you think the sex is for both sides.

Sent from my SPH-D710 using Tapatalk

[Anika.]

Albert, you keep asking the same questions....over and over, phrasing it a different way but is always the same questions. You also keep getting the same answers over and over, phrased in different ways, but the same answers. If you just don't like the answers you are getting that's fine. But why keep expecting a different response to the same questions.. unless you think you know women better than they know themselves, then accept the answers you have gotten from many many women here.

I am not sure your threads are worthy of this much attention compared to all the other posts here. But you seem to just love the attention whether negative or positive. Am I right? Haven't seen you express any concern for offending others here as has been extended to you.

I thought you said you were done here after you put us all down? Now you expect even more... just like your dating problem huh?

Seems to me you are the one scared of true intimacy, scared perhaps to be vulnerable yourself. Perhaps you could explore your ownself before trying to explore others. It might be helpful to your cause.

[pbutton]

Originally Posted by albert.anthony81

8) how do I really compete when they are getting 100s of emails?

In your current state, I don't think you can. Your attitudes and beliefs are incredibly off-putting and narrow-minded. I'd imagine that you DO get screened out rather quickly. Look at the reactions you get from women in your threads. The common denominator here is YOU, not the entire female population.

[sabby]

At this time, this thread is being closed.