Why does my fiancees mother making things more difficult for me and my fiancee?

Well we have an appointment today with her to talk about it.

i really do feel for you, just been thru similar & she made her choose between family or me in the end, i heartbroken hence reason i on here.

That's good! I hope that you will let us know how it goes.

Perhaps make a quick list beforehand of the three or four most important things that you would like to get her input on.

We have been to going therapist about this situation. That we have been dealing with since August. It is getting out of hand but it is starting to. But it is getting very stressful for my fiancee. And it's taking a toll on our relationship

I am trying to say, even, once out, there's going to be lingering things to work through, in individual therapy.

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Well my fiancees mom called and left a message for the therapist yo call back. But I'm curious what's that about.

Who's therapist? if it's not the mom's therapist it's none of her business to talk to the therapist at all. She's being nosy and intrusive now.

Is there anything we can do? My fiancee's therapist. Why is that intrusive?

I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure the therapist can't say much without a release form, if she can say anything at all. So, if your fiancee didn't sign a release saying that her treatment can be discussed with her mother, I don't think the therapist can legally talk about it. Someone correct me if I'm wrong about this...

I truly hope you and your fiance are able to break free of this.

My family was this manipulative, controlling and intrusive.

I ended up having to completely break off all contact with them.

It was the only way to save myself.

I'm surprised your fiancee's therapist hasn't told her how improperly enmeshed her mother is in her life.

When we don't know where we begin and the other person ends, that's totally messed up.

Good luck. It really sucks to be stuck in a situation like this.

Is there anything we can do?

I signed a release only that saying she can talk to my mom, but not discuss what we talked about in session. My mother did go to one session with us. I only wanted to have her come to a session so she could get our side of things and without an argument occurring.
I really LOVE my fiancee, Broncos38, and DON'T WANT anyone to come between us; even if it does mean severing ties with my mother. I just didn't want the WHOLE FAMILY to end up crumbling because I made a mistake with my mother.

What you are going to need to do at some point is to set some boundaries with your fiancee's mother. Actually she should be the one to do so, and I hope she will be able to stand up to her. Your future mother-in-law will not be a happy camper. She might make all sorts of threats, pout, etc. Hang on!

It's intrusive because this is your fiancé's therapy, not her mothers. If she wants to invite, her mom, in for a session, that's between your fiancé and her therapist.

This, is why I feel, it could take your fiancé a long time, to overcome the enmeshment with her mother. If you, are asking, 'why' it's intrusive, then I am not sure, what can be done.

[quote=healingme4me;3439558]It's intrusive because this is your fiancé's therapy, not her mothers. If she wants to invite, her mom, in for a session, that's between your fiancé and her therapist.

This, is why I feel, it could take your fiancé a long time, to overcome the enmeshment with her mother. If you, are asking, 'why' it's intrusive, then I am not sure, what can be done.

But it's misunderstanding my mom called the therapist not my fiancee's mom.

Were you able to see the therapist? If so, how was it?

Yeah, it was ok.

My fiancee of Trekeegirl, she was helping me out and posting on her behalf for awhile.
She has had Epilepsy since she was 8 months old{currently take 4 meds and She has a Vagus Nerve Stimulator (VNS)}. She went through a surgery to help control my seizures back in 2009 (they removed part of my right frontal lobe, and cut her corpus collosum/nerve bridge during the testing for the main surgery). I have only had two complex-partials since I was off the diet, and it was due to her battery needing replacement.
She used to also have a kidney disorder from 3 years old 'til She was in 7th grade -when it went into remission and it has stayed that way since (Thank God for that!)

But it's misunderstanding my mom called the therapist not my fiancee's mom.[/QUOTE]

Did you and your fiancé, invite your Mom, to call? Now, that, I can see,as beneficial, perhaps?

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Did you and your fiancé, invite your Mom, to call? Now, that, I can see,as beneficial, perhaps?

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My mom wasn't invited.

What does her neuro, feel, about the overbearing mother? I'm concerned about the recovery from lack of privacy, post-moving out. There's much self work, out there, lots of books to be read. T sessions alone, won't bring her far along, fast enough, without some elbow grease, if determined to overcome this.

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Well she has appointment on January 7 with her neurologist.

Me and my fiancee just found out my fiancee's mother is emotionally and verbally abusive to her.

I'm sorry to hear that.