not lovable

ive never been loved, i never had a bf!im 26 lol i had a thing with the biggest SOB ever at 21 but he just wanted to **** me... he treated me like crap but i still stick with him caz i thought was better than having no one! he ended the thing caz i didnt **** him! i felt like crap and even lost my friend (his cousin)!

2 years after i fall for this dude guess what???? i fell for an idiot that only wanted to raise hes ego and mess with my ****ing head/heart!!! i humiliated myself after he laugh at my face when i asked what he wanted from me... after an year i sent him a note saying i loved him and missed him...

then recently i found this guy in a chat but yeah although the asshole knew i wanted serious relationship he just wanted sex.
i have no life right now so... but what does matter? when i had a life nobody EVER wanted me. i see sooooo many ****ed people that have bf/gf but guess im an outlier and im not entitled to a ****ing thing in this world.

Oh

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I don't know if it makes you feel better, but i know someone who is 42 and he never loved, makes me more sad than never being loved by someone else... Maybe. You are so angry and I can understand why. At least your assholes didn't pretend that they love you, my asshole was "confused" because of the drugs for 4 years which made him think that he loves me. Maybe you hanging out with wrong people?

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Maybe you should be more strict and more careful when you look for someone? Let it happen naturally, of course, but i would rather be alone for many years than in meaningless relationship (which you don't need).

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of course they lied otherwise i wouldnt have anything to do with hem! the first one old me alllll beautiful things.. actually he stole my number from his cousin.. so i got all YAY someone noticed me!!! but of course it was all BS lol

Sorry these men, are mistreating you. Especially, when they promise you a rose garden and all you have to show for it, are these lousy weeds.

It's hard, to meet people. That is truth. I agree with lightinthesky, it's better to be alone, than subjected to such relationships.

yeah they say when we have poor self.esteem we attract the wrong men... right now is impossible to meet people, i dont have social life at all. being alone has been quite hard. specially now that i find out my sis has a new bf... just proving being a slut pays off after all... so i got quite mad about it.
then the 1s idiot i had a thing with was 5 years ago during xmas so at his time of year i always remember how happy i was and how by new year it was all over...

Elektra-I'm sorry you're feeling down about this. Been there, am still there. And you know what? Being a slut does not pay off. Assholes will be assholes no matter who you are.

I can relate. I have met soooo many lousy guys, liars, cheaters, etc. It can be so disheartening.

BUT...don't give up. I know you won't, because you want love. One day, someone will see you for who you are and love you.

thing is apparently the dude is cool guy... shes the one that is no good. soo... she always gets what she wants.. lol even got a married man at same time she was living with her bf!
thats the issue... i never had even a date or even a man showing real interest in me.. so i might not be lovable at all.
really appreciate ur words hun and hope this dude treats u well.

i read this book "why men love *****es" (sherry argov) that someone posted in other thread. some things written werent news for me. men want a woman independent, that stands up for herself, detached, successful... that makes them chase her. men need challenge, thats why every time we show interest right away they get sick of it quickly. so how a woman with none of items mentioned above gets a man? lol

This is all so confusing! I don't think all men are looking for *****es just as all women aren't looking for Neanderthals. And I've seen the same issues pop up over and over again with different kinds of men--mostly I'm too independent, I'm aloof, and I don't need anybody--that couldn't be farther from the truth!

If a woman desires confidence and esteem, she pursues her own interests, first and foremost. Solidifies her own identity, likes/dislikes, philosophy, values, beliefs, et Al.

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i rephrase... woman with mental issues.

Well, even with mental issues, women meet men. Everyone has a shot at love

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thats the problem i dont have a shot.. and i dont want a man with mental issues (i have enough of my own for the both of us) so yeah a normal guy would never want me.

I think it's normal that a man wants to be with an independent woman, who knows what she wants, stands up for herself, what is wrong with that? Just like women wouldn't like to be with a men with low self esteem and confidence, no values.

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they like challenge not the nice girl that shows interest in them.. thats too easy for them so they lose interest.

Nice girls can give challenge as well, I don't know what you mean by being too easy. When I met my bf I was nice and he was wonderful too, there was a little challenge for him but he did know that I am very interested in him. We were dating for many years after (even tho it ended).

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they like the chase. they play games. if i like someone i show it without noticing and then they just treat me like an idiot.

Maybe there is other reason why they treat you this way (if they do).
Because not everyone plays the game.
Maybe chasing is in the nature but it doesn't mean it can not happen when a woman let's a man know she likes him.
It's is understandable that we all want to be with people in the right state of mind, interesting, independent, so if you have a low self esteem you might want to work on that because if we don't love ourself then how can we expect others to start loving us? Stop looking at the world as only black and white.

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Depends on the illness, imo.

Let me expand, hit send, too soon...

If two people, were to have their own set of issues, would it matter more, if they could function, communicate, take a solid look at self first, before delving into some emotional roller coaster ride.

Don't many, come with our own pasts, trials, tribulations? It's almost subjective to feel there is one person out there without baggage.

So, even with your own sorrows and wounds, why couldn't there be someone who complements those, in a respectful, loving way?

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@light - funny u say that. how many people here have self-esteem issues or, in matter of fact, severe issues that affect relationships but STILL have bf/gf?? im just not entitled to a ****ing thing in his world!!

You can be both nice and challenging...

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That Elektra,, is true, not entitled
Do women who sleep around, have affairs with married men, truly have good esteem?
Finding a man with a sense of independence to match that of an independent woman, isn't an easy find. These men, that you are looking at, for this post to exist, are they really 'catches'?

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should i feel insulted for what u just said or people her should.. u lost me