I struggle in all relationships, anyone else have this issue?

Whether platonic, romantic or familial I seriously struggle to maintain relationships.

I am quick to cut off ppl who I believe have hurt me in some way. U haven't spoken to a grandparent in almost 10 years because she insulted me and I can't count how many relatives and friends I have stopped speaking to. One relative died and I wasn't speaking to her because she gossiped about me.

I generally withdraw from relationships following hurts and I am no longer able to see the person as " good" or "safe" emotionally afterwards.

I do miss some of those I've left behind but relationships are extremely hard as they require constant communication and the uncertainty of them spikes my anxiety so I let then die rather than endeavor to fix them only to have other issues arise later.

No relationship is permanent to me, even romantic ones.

Does anyone else struggle with this?

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Yes I can relate. I have trust issues from being abused. I too have cut off people who hurt me. A lot of negative experiences. I feel anxious too from uncertainy ..will this person want to keep in touch with me? A wall goes up to protect myself, need to slowly be sure they are trustworthy.

It's a tough one, to overcome, because slights hurt and feel like betrayals. I don't necessarily have the struggle of cutting people out completely, but I've trust issues where I take things a bit too slow. It was from my mom. She'd say one thing, then my late stepdad would tell me that my mom was feeling and expressing something else. That was tough, tough, tough. Had to learn it wasn't a complete betrayal, but that people, lots of people don't know how to be honest with themselves. And it's not a reflection on me.
There's a gray area, hope you can find it.

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Yes, I can relate as well. I have been this was my entire life, as far back as I can remember. I haven't spoken with my best friend in almost six months now because I felt betrayed by her. I have also randomly dropped entire friendships for minuscule things, destroyed romantic relationships, you name it.

I am hoping that I can change things around for the better. Maybe try to rekindle some friendships and truly explain the reason.

You are not alone! Good luck.

Yes, it is a struggle, and it's hard to figure out when your instinct about a person is right and when you are just engaged in an old pattern of cutting people out for minor reasons. I sometimes wonder if the problem is the type of person I associate with in the first place -- if I made better friends to begin with, would I still want to end my friendships so regularly?

Yes, I can totally understand what you said. I do that too. I hate confronting people and constantly having to assert myself just to ensure that they treat me properly. I will stand up for myself, if absolutely necessary. But I prefer people who know where the boundaries should lie and don't try to push them. I think that I am very patent with people. But eventually, if it is clear that they will not rectify their behaviour, I will cut them off all together. I find this immensely painful to do, so these days I'm very hesitant and careful about forming close relationships. I don't want to put someone else (or myself) through that again.

yes i find it hard to trust and even harder to maintain long term friendships and relationships. even with my family i am quick to cut off contact.

Sounds a lot like what I've done, good luck to you too!

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@All- has anyone worked on this in therapy? I feel like when I've tried to ask for help with this therapists haven't offered me any plan for working on it.

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I am currently struggling in a relationship that hasnt been made formal. We arent really dating but we do spen a lot of time together. I have a very strong attraction to her and I believe she is attracted to me but i sense doubt in her willing to move forward. I have some jealousy and trust issues. She has a lot of male friends that dont really hide the fact that they want to be with here but she spends most of her time with me. Why do I think this way? We sometimes spend 3+ hours on the phone staying up until really late even though she has to be up early. I want to trust her and she hasnt really given me a reason noit to. I think its my own insecurity.

I tend to push people away even though they have never said get lost. I'm use to others walking away, rejection.. A job rejection hurts and I can handle that. Personal relationships are difficult. Recently I told someone that if he didn't want to communicate with me anymore please tell me. I would like to communicate but not sure if you feel the same? Yet this person has never indicated prior I don't want to communicate. He responded he sees no reason why I should feel hesitant, info i give to him is helpful, will always listen carefully.I felt awful for asking such a thing and told him I was experiencing a tough day, explained why (but never said i was afraid of him walking),yes I want to keep communicating. 3 days later no response, felt bad, said I'm sorry about the email. Nothing. I felt anxious because this guy has been respectful. We only communicate by email long distance. No romance, more aquaintance- professional.Never met. We don't communicate everyday, I do more of the emailing. He has a busy job. He knows my past. So 3 days ago I sent him info I knew he could use and left out anything to do with sorry etc.And he replied thanking me and explained some ideas he was involved in. I felt anxious feeling when a little over a week went by not knowing if things were kaput ( even though his response didnt appear to say so)I need to learn how to stop doing this. Just started therapy and hoping to learn.

I can really relate to this. I have always struggled in all sorts of relationships.

There is nothing more than I would love is to have a lasting romantic relationship with a woman a couple of friends who I could stick by without questioning everything.

Hermithood awaits!

It's good to have some boundaries, but the trick is to set them where not too many people cross them.