[Amama]

anyone else going thru this?

[StargazerLily]

im going through this but i suspect that it might be different for you.were you the cheater, or the cheated? i was the one that did the wrong in my relationship.

who cheated?

[Taipans]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
fayerody said:
who cheated?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I'm sorry I know this is a very serious topic, and would love to throw insight on it and will when more information is released. (Lived though my dad destroying my mom from this very topic) but Fayerody's throw out question was kind of funny, I guess from a sick perspective. Sorry.

[Amama]

he cheated on me. I loved him and i was loyal for six years and he turned around and cheated on me.....I saw my dad do this to my mum and now i know how she felt...............How do i get over this? i do not want to hurt anymore

i recommend therapy for getting through it. i did that and it helped tremendously. good luck, pat

[mlyn]

depends on how long you want to work and keep talking about things to work through them. 29 years I'm almost ready to give up. have experianced both cheating my side and his and his had baby when he denied me another (long story).
grrrrr angry tonight. A man that gives none except when apsolutely necessary when you are ready to leave I'm begining to see maybe not a good idea to hang on to.
gee prbly not to helpful here am I.
mlyn

[Taipans]

I would have to throw in a small negative to all this, I guess I agree with mlyn on their opinion. My parents ever since the affair have never been the same. My dad repeatadley cheated with the same women over the course of 15 years now (was his secretary), and still to this day. (and tries still to hide it) He also from what we found out last year ended up getting this lady pregnant and she had a child. I told my mom a hundred times through all the nights where she would cry on my shoulder, to get a damn attorney, leave him and rip out everything from underhim. (family is well off) But she "loved" him and they have been married for well over 30 years. And kept believing his BS that he stopped and got away from this women. I came very very close the night my mom found out about the hidden child killing him after he went beserk and pushed my mom then screamed at my wife (because unfortunatley it was her who broke it to my mom about the hidden daughter he had) I found that out listening in on a phone conversation here at work (yes I still work daily with him, family company), and it ate me up so bad but I didnt have the heart to tell my mom. And at this point I was married moved out and have 2 kids of my own so I just threw in the towel and said it was none of my business anymore. But she saw it killing me and was like screw it she should know the truth. Anyways, so they went through counsoling, but still countless years of suspicion, lies, the late nights coming home and so on kept going on. And even to this day my mom still stays, and is just pretty much a broken women anymore. She should , as I suggested over a decade ago gotten a divorce and walked away. Once the trust is gone in a relationship... the relationship is over period. I understand why some like my mom hang on for so long, as they are afraid of change, the embarassement of it getting around, the loss of financial security and so on. But all your going to do is live the rest of your life in suspicion, against the one person you are suppose to love and trust the most.

No matter your decision I wish you all the best, its going to be a tough road, one that may not end the way you want. Just never ever blame yourself! He made the decision, not you.

Mark

let me be perfectly clear. i left and then had therapy. i did not stay with him.

[Taipans]

Its very clear with that icon of yours!

i divorced my cheating wife for adultery 6 years ago, she slept with 2 of my work mates whilst i was out busting my b+lls working 16 hr shifts 6 days a week to pay off her college debts and provide a stable home enviorement and i finally caught her in my bed with her boss, and to this day no amount of therapy will ever stop me hating her, but thats just me

[Wants2Fly]

Tough decision. I wish you all the best as you make your call, plus strength, courage, and independence.

Just because you draw a boundary, such as I refuse to be treated this way, doesn't require you to stop loving the man. I left my husband, not because he cheated, but because he had too many female friends, and he always had them in my face for comparison's sake, and I just couldn't take it. I left loving him like crazy, but I left. Sometimes you just have to decide who you are, and I decided I'm not a woman who wanted to live with my husband's attention always on other women.