Cheating

Hey...I am not perfect...is his cheating proof of that?
Say, you have a wonderful wife, she's European, very good looking, very open minded, loves sex (any time, any way, any where), she's loving, loyal, smart, has humor, is adventurous, understanding, flexible...I guess you've got the picture...
Then why cheats her husband on her for about 11 months, denying it and telling her sooooooooooooooo many lies?
Why doesn't he want to talk about it? Why doesn't he show any remorse?
What can she do? Still no tears...only anger...
Only married for 3 years...

I guess no one answered this one because it is a hard one to answer. Only he can answer it. Unfortunately when there are so many lies on the table it is hard to know when he is telling the truth. It is important that both of you get help. Him for what ever it is he is covering up and you to keep your own self intact. Take care,
Carrie

<font color=blue>The important thing is this: to be able at any momeent to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.--Charles Du Bos

I agree with Zenobia - you should both seek some kind of (outside, impartial) help for your situation. My husband and I went through a similar experience, and I was on your end of the situation.

My husband's behavior definitely put our relationship at risk, and I even left him (we were legally seperated for a year and a half), but, eventually, I decided that there was hope left in the relationship. Things have never been the same since, and trust is still a big issue, but I felt that our relationship was worth the effort - as did he. We have been married for nearly eight years now, and it's not a perfect relationship, but we both work to keep it intact.

Hope that helps somewhat.

Do take care.

Look at it from this perspective "you never miss the water till the well runs dry" you give him everything and you end up choking him with it, men get bored very easily especially if you give them what they in the the past had fantasized or longed for. If his made his final decision only time can tell, but after some time "he will miss the water"

to be or not to be that is the question!

The most important thing for you to know here is that HIS cheating isn't about YOU or any qualities you have or don't have. Infidelity is a complex subject, but essentially your husband chose not to invest his energy with you and found someone NEW. It's all about novelty for him. She is not you, and that's all it takes, sometimes. When I researched infidelity for my book LOVING IN FLOW (and also when my own spouse had an affair ten years into our marriage), I discovered that it wasn't my fault. He got to feeling hopeless that things would get "good" again and when he met a new person, he figured he'd give it a try. That's a vast oversimplication, of course, and I tell the whole story in my book. But what you need to do now is open a genuine conversation with him and find out if he wants to save your marriage. Both of you have to really want it, and then the real work begins. Good luck!

Susan K. Perry, Ph.D.
<A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.BunnyApe.com/lovinginflow.htm>http://www.BunnyApe.com/lovinginflow.htm</A>
Author of <font color=red> LOVING IN FLOW: How the Happiest Couples Get and Stay That Way </font color=red>