Can't stand men

monkeybrains21 · Mar 31, 2014, 07:02 AM

Ok I don't hate men, I just don't like them in any position of power around me. I can't have a male GP. No male dentists, nurses, or T. I hate my boss is a man not just because he's lazy and has no idea what he's doing, but also cuz he decided he controls my fate in the company. Now it's one thing if he were a fair honest person but he's not.

I have not always been like this it's just progressively gotten worse the past few yrs. it's not even the aversion that's the problem it's the fact that I get extremely angry to the pt I want to break them the minute they are in my presence and open their mouths.

Mar 31, 2014, 07:47 AM

I am not sure what has caused you such pain. Clearly it was pretty traumatic. And I am sorry you have suffered so.....

But speaking as a guy, I found this very hurtful. Not "personally" - but more that clearly somewhere in your past one or more guys have damaged you to the point that you are not allowed to be comfortable simply living in this world.

I hope you are seeking treatment. And I hope that someday you find that even though someone has clearly hurt you..... not all guys are like this.

I wish you peace, I wish you comfort in this world and eventually I wish you JOY as a person. You deserve that.

yumi · Mar 31, 2014, 01:06 PM

Not all men are bad.

LaborIntensive · Mar 31, 2014, 01:37 PM

Sounds like something you need to work through. I have known a few women who insisted they hated men in general. But at the core was an apathetic or abusive father, bad experiences in life resulting from ignorant, negative males.

The point is to keep aware that no one person is fit into a group so easily. You need to know people first before judging them. I have met many women who are manipulative, deceiving and so self centered. But in the end those were many of the women I have met and not all of them.

The others were so spiritual, loving and caring, open and honest that no man I have met to date can measure up to them. It's a big world out there and humanity is as diverse in form as they are in emotion and character. Can't stand men

monkeybrains21 · Mar 31, 2014, 07:31 PM

Ok maybe I didn't say it right. I don't hate men. I just don't like men to assert power over me in any way. I don't like them telling me what I can or can't do. I don't mean to offend any men. I don't like them in a position of power over me. I don't want them standing when I'm sitting I don't want them leanin over me.

I definitely don't want to be in an intimate setting with me or even in an enclosed room alone with me. I just can't take it. I panic and then things happen and I can't control it

Mar 31, 2014, 11:26 PM

I can relate. Logically I know they are as human and unique as any woman but it's emotional that is driving it. Recognizing it is the first step. I can't say I have too many issues with men in authority now but I did. And it was a somewhat disdainful attitude which is what I am hearing from you. I know my case is a combo fear, anger and lack of respect for my father and brother. If you can try to view your boss from an empathetic view you can start to see him as human and with practice, overcome it.

Eg...He probably has more responsibility and pressure. Maybe his boss is even worse and he is protecting you from him/her. I'm totally making those up. I can't read your boss's mind

. I just say them as possibilities to think about.

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monkeybrains21 · Apr 01, 2014, 11:51 AM

I would post this elsewhere but no where else seems to fit

kim1975 · Apr 01, 2014, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by monkeybrains21

Ok I don't hate men, I just don't like them in any position of power around me. I can't have a male GP. No male dentists, nurses, or T. I hate my boss is a man not just because he's lazy and has no idea what he's doing, but also cuz he decided he controls my fate in the company. Now it's one thing if he were a fair honest person but he's not.

I have not always been like this it's just progressively gotten worse the past few yrs. it's not even the aversion that's the problem it's the fact that I get extremely angry to the pt I want to break them the minute they are in my presence and open their mouths.

It's okay!!! I can't stand them either. The men in my family and anywhere else seem to think that they have authority over me because they are men. They have that "I'm all powerful and knowing" thing going on. When really, us women think with the bigger head, we are far more intelligent. While men are stuck thinking with their smaller head because they always think because they have a smaller head that they are ahead of us in the world.

Apr 01, 2014, 02:22 PM

Do you know why you feel that way?

My father has always been the exact same as you are describing, except towards women. He can't handle having female co-workers, especially when they are of equal position or higher. His issues stem from growing up in a household with a very domineering mother who heavily favored his sisters, and from being stuck in the 1950's gender role mindset.

In the case of my father, he isn't at all interested in changing

But if you know why you feel the way you do, do you think you'd want to change those views?

monkeybrains21 · Apr 03, 2014, 02:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trebyn

Do you know why you feel that way?

My father has always been the exact same as you are describing, except towards women. He can't handle having female co-workers, especially when they are of equal position or higher. His issues stem from growing up in a household with a very domineering mother who heavily favored his sisters, and from being stuck in the 1950's gender role mindset.

In the case of my father, he isn't at all interested in changing

But if you know why you feel the way you do, do you think you'd want to change those views?

I don't know how this happened. It never mattered before a few yrs ago. I've always had issues with my father he's always been an abusive alcoholic rapist. But I've known that pretty much my whole life. The only thing that's changed in the past few yrs is he was finally arrested, charged, tried and then released after3months when it should have been 4yrs. I have no contact with him or my mother who chose him over me. It's probably best I don't try and oh to a male dr. I really don't want to freak out with him in the room, I'd probably punch him quite a bit

LaborIntensive · Apr 03, 2014, 02:37 PM

Well there is a reason there that you may want to discuss professionally with a qualified person. It could come to negatively impact work & friendships in time.

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