Falling for married man?

We met online on a cheating website. I am single, divorced. We have been chatting on yahoo for a year and a half. We met in person last summer. At first, I wasn't sure I liked him. I had a picture in my mind of what he was like and it wasn't the same.

I liked the fact that he actually talked to me, and got to know me. we saw each other about 5 times in a month last summer. We found a secret place to meet at, it is in public but secluded. So over the past 6 months we have not seen each other. At one point, I told him I couldn't do it anymore and we stopped talking for a week, then I started chatting with him again. It's just that when I need to chat with him, he isn't there for me. But how can he?

His wife used to work a lot of nights so we would chat online while he was home alone at night. Now she works another schedule so he hasn't been talking to me as much.

We don't know each others phone numbers or anything. But I feel like he has become a good friend online. When something in my life happens, I want to get online and tell him about it. That bothers me.

So anyway, we finally met last night after 6 months of not seeing each other. We went to our secret spot and made out like crazy. On my drive home I felt like I was in a trance or something. I told him about it and he said he feels the same way, and he likes the feeling.

I can't date any single guys right now, my life is too messed up, so I have resorted to married men. It's as if part of me wants him to fall for me, I also like the attention he shows me when he can. I just keep thinking about how he held my hand when we were walking and how he kissed my forehead.

In my life I only have booty call relationships. I don't even know how to date anyone and am afraid. My husband treated me like crap and I feel as if I was never really married. So when I have this guy holding my hand and kissing my forehead I start feeling things. But then I realize I am just a booty call. I feel like I want to say things, but I have to think about everything I say because he is married and he might think I want more, so I don't say things. or I sometimes pretend to be avoiding him so he won't think I am getting too attached but actually I am going crazy because I want to talk to him and see him.

he claims he never has sex with wife and it has been over a year. I believe him based on what he has said about it. He said they never kiss either and he hasn't kissed anyone in 6 months since the last time with me.

I randomly had sex with another married man a few months back and told him about it. I felt like I was cheating on him.

I fell for another married man 2 years ago. We had sex once at a hotel and we tried to arrange more meetings but it never worked out. I was so attracted to this one and felt like I had to act like I didn't like him either just so he wouldn't feel like I was getting too attached to him. He also said he felt weird after meeting me and didn't know what it was. Not sure if that meant he was having feelings for me or not?

There are others that want to meet me. I could have many married boyfriends if I wanted to.

But after the guy last night, I just feel trancelike, like I can't even move, a real relaxed lazy feeling, and I couldn't sleep last night either. I want more.

Well idk what it you're looking for from your post, nobody's going to cheer you on in your persuit of this married man, and members have already given their insight and input regarding your preference for married men.

I will say this though, wanting more from him, will only lead to misery, you think your life is too messed up right now to date, wait till you involve someone else's spouse, kids, and family / friends.

Now that would be a mess.

They have cheating websites?

You've become attached,,it sounds. Kissing on forehead, is a sign of respect and nurturing. That's how I kiss my sons.
Knowing your story, it makes sense that a kiss like that, left you feeling comforted and nurtured; that's what's missing in your life. It's clearly more than physical, what's been going on. All, the online chatting.
Clearly, your needs, to a point, are met and addressed, by this one.
Which, is confusing, duh, the guys married, wth, right???
In some ways, i get what you mean about single men. Sometimes, they aren't often completely available to reach that vulnerable state of involvement. (I'll stop myself short, right there....personal reasons)

Um, he's not considering leaving his wife, is he?

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No, he does not want to leave his wife. And I wouldn't want him to.

He told me they both had an affair years ago, and she was the first one to do it. they have small kids now. I don't really ask about her and he doesn't really talk about her.

From what he says, she will no longer go near him and he is craving kissing and being with someone.

I am lonely.

Yes, there are cheating websites - Ashley Madison.

I know him so well now that I don't even think of him being from a website.

I don't think it helps you learn to interact/find an available man who can treat you well and be "yours". Can't see how flirting with him/danger in this way can help you in the long run but could hurt you and, especially, innocent others.

That trance like feeling is called being in a fog. Go to Surviving Infidelity online, you will learn a lot from the articles and posts!!

The three of you deserve healthy relationships!!

It is not fair or right to get involved in encouraging a man to cheat on his wife. Many of them say they are not having sex with their wives or are unhappy.

Cheaters are cheaters, and don't change their colors, if they do it to someone else and you hook up, they will do it to you too.

No dating married people... ok to chat with people but.. just do not go there = trouble. Wish you well.

Well, if it's a quasi open marriage, i suppose. It's just seems so unfair to you, where it really seems you could use the moral support of a man,,that's completely available, to you.

I've perhaps asked before, but wouldn't it be nice to share a sunrise?

Think I'll read that mentioned link, too. Just for curiousities sake. It's an uphill battle, to leave yourself lonely. I get how you got tangled in this Web, only hope you'd find your way to more satisfying grounds.



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Ok, I browsed it. Nothing there for those who are third party, to a marriage. There are sites out there, stories of Other Women for Other Women. Those would be better suited to read. They talk of pains, betrayals and more.
It takes a certain strength of character, hotchicken, to come out and admit to this.
It's not about right or wrong, this is your plight, your struggles. Your own admission to the loneliness. Even last affair mentioned, that sour taste it left on you.
See, you have redeeming qualities.



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It is certainly nice to share a sunrise, but when you've been alone for a really long time, it's nice to share anything at all... even 15 minutes in the car can be a royal gift. From that standpoint, "the full will never understand the hungry" as the proverb goes... I understand the thread author completely... the withdrawal will be really tough for her. (hugs)