[wolfatheart]

I have no friends. None. And I know a lot of people who actually DO have friends say this but.. I don't. The only numbers in my phone are family members and my doctors. The only person who texts me is my mom. It's been almost a year now since I've had a boyfriend.

I WAS talking with one of my exes and things were going well until out-of-nowhere he started ignoring me and acting like I didn't exist :/ He got a new phone and changed his number (his old phone WAS crappy and I know he changed his number because of his most recent ex but.. he hasn't given me his new number either, so..) and hasn't responded to any emails or Facebook messages. And when I say out-of-nowhere I literally mean every thing was FINE and great and then just.. BAM. Stop responding.

I'm on disability so I don't have a job where I can meet people. There's really no "groups" here that I can go to and meet anyone. The last one I went to for depression, everyone was older than me (I'm 29) and married with kids and I just found it hard to relate to any of them plus they were always "busy".

It's gotten to the point where I only leave the house maybe once every week or every other week to run across the street to buy groceries or whatever. I live at home and hibernate in my room because my parents, too, are always busy working and when they aren't working, they're watching TV and get irritated if I "interrupt" them..

I really don't know what to do anymore. I mean. If I already basically don't exist to anyone then what's the point of really existing in the first place? It's been almost 3 years since my last attempt (if the paramedics had gotten there 15 minutes later, I would've succeeded) and I really don't see any point in trying any more :/

[Alone & confused]

I'm about to that point myself.

Hello Wolfatheart: I'm so sorry to hear of your plight. I don't have any friends either. But I'm much older than you are, I am married & I do have acquaintances. My wife works full time & so I'm alone all day 5 days a week. I spend almost all of this time on the internet. And, over the past 2 years or so, I've made many wonderful internet friends. I know it's not the same as real flesh-&-blood friends. But it helps. (I've also been down the suicide path, so I know what that's about too.)

That's probably not of much help to you. But I thought I'd at least mention it. Oh, & the other thing, I guess, would be that I have a dog & he & I walk around our neighborhood everyday. On our walks we often run into other dog walkers & often dog walkers like to stop & chat with other dog walkers. So I chat with the dog owner while their dog & my dog get to know each other. This is another thing that helps.

[wolfatheart]

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

Hello Wolfatheart: I'm so sorry to hear of your plight. I don't have any friends either. But I'm much older than you are, I am married & I do have acquaintances. My wife works full time & so I'm alone all day 5 days a week. I spend almost all of this time on the internet. And, over the past 2 years or so, I've made many wonderful internet friends. I know it's not the same as real flesh-&-blood friends. But it helps. (I've also been down the suicide path, so I know what that's about too.)

That's probably not of much help to you. But I thought I'd at least mention it. Oh, & the other thing, I guess, would be that I have a dog & he & I walk around our neighborhood everyday. On our walks we often run into other dog walkers & often dog walkers like to stop & chat with other dog walkers. So I chat with the dog owner while their dog & my dog get to know each other. This is another thing that helps.

At least you are married. I've come to realize that I never will be. It's really hard because despite my social anxiety, I really am a social person and enjoy being with people. I was so much happier when I had friends. Any friends I have now are online and live too far away (one lives in Washington state, two in Canada, and another in the Netherlands).

Our family has a dog - a Dachshund - but he's much too old to really go on long walks any more (he's seriously about to turn 19 this summer) so that's not really an option either :/

It's getting to the point where sticking around for my parents' and sister's sakes aren't really cutting it.

Yes, I am very fortunate, indeed. Wow, a 19 year old Dachshund! Our dog (we think he's part poodle & part schnauzer) is around 9 or 10. (He was a rescue dog. So we don't know for sure.) But because he & I walk so much, he's in good shape. People who see him are surprised he's as old as he is.

Do you ever talk with your internet friends via Skype or another similar service? I had downloaded Skype at one point, but I never used it so eventually I deleted it. I am on YouTube, though. And this is where I spend most of my time & where I've come to know the most people. It takes work. But it seems like the relationships I developed on YouTube have been the most lasting of anywhere I've gone on the internet.

I made my most serious suicide attempt yet a bit over 2 years ago, I guess it was. And I don't think it's stretching the truth too far to say that YouTube has played a large role in keeping me going since then. And, of course, now there's PC. I only became familiar with the social media on the internet about 3 or 4 years ago. Prior to that, I would have scoffed if anyone would have suggested that it would save my life. But it has.

So, I guess what I'm suggesting, in a roundabout way, Wolfatheart, is that there is something out there that you can use to keep yourself going. The internet isn't a substitute for real-life friends. But it's not bad either. So if there's no way to make any real-life friends in your current situation, then maybe see if there isn't someplace on the internet where you can get to know like-minded people. Your current living situation isn't going to last forever. It's a rough period of time that you have to struggle through. But it can get better. You just need a plan for making it better, & something to carry you over the "hump", so to speak. You can do this. And, hey! You're here on PsychCentral. And this is a great place to start!

[CountingSheep]

Hey there. I can sort of relate to a little of what youre going through now. I'm 21 and only have 3 friends (with one being online and on the rocks at the moment), two of which I met in middle/high school. Since I graduated I haven't been able to make any new friends. Now, I say I've got three friends but I feel like we're drifting, which is probably my fault since I always wait for them to initiate contact because I feel like im bugging them if I do it first. That mentality is working against me but I can't seem to get over it.

The job I currently have only allows me to have contact with the elderly, which isnt really a good environment for a 21 year old to make friends.

So I basically don't talk to anyone unless they do it first, and spent most of my free time reading, gaming, or on the net. I'm looking into getting a new job that'll allow me to socialize more, and once we settle down in our new apartment (my mother and i are currently in-between houses right now) I plan to look around the area for clubs/groups I can go to.

In the meantime though I've been trying to become comfortable with doing solitary activities, Im an introvert so that really isnt hard, im more trying to ignore the fact that I dont have many friends. Keep telling myself it'll happen eventually as long as I work towards it.

Sometimes when I think I'm cooping myself up in the house too much I'll grab my ipod and just go for a long walk, or I'll get a book and find someplace nice to read. Sometimes I'll go out on a run. Since godzilla came out recently I plan to go see that, even if I'll be going alone.

I'm really sorry you're feelin the way you are, and I hope this clears up positively real soon. Have you tried meetup.com? I've given it a once over and have found some groups I'd be interested in going to, the tough part is getting over the nervousness lol. You might find some things that interest you on there, and if you do go you might find some people you click with.

[wolfatheart]

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

Yes, I am very fortunate, indeed. Wow, a 19 year old Dachshund! Our dog (we think he's part poodle & part schnauzer) is around 9 or 10. (He was a rescue dog. So we don't know for sure.) But because he & I walk so much, he's in good shape. People who see him are surprised he's as old as he is.

Do you ever talk with your internet friends via Skype or another similar service? I had downloaded Skype at one point, but I never used it so eventually I deleted it. I am on YouTube, though. And this is where I spend most of my time & where I've come to know the most people. It takes work. But it seems like the relationships I developed on YouTube have been the most lasting of anywhere I've gone on the internet.

I made my most serious suicide attempt yet a bit over 2 years ago, I guess it was. And I don't think it's stretching the truth too far to say that YouTube has played a large role in keeping me going since then. And, of course, now there's PC. I only became familiar with the social media on the internet about 3 or 4 years ago. Prior to that, I would have scoffed if anyone would have suggested that it would save my life. But it has.

So, I guess what I'm suggesting, in a roundabout way, Wolfatheart, is that there is something out there that you can use to keep yourself going. The internet isn't a substitute for real-life friends. But it's not bad either. So if there's no way to make any real-life friends in your current situation, then maybe see if there isn't someplace on the internet where you can get to know like-minded people. Your current living situation isn't going to last forever. It's a rough period of time that you have to struggle through. But it can get better. You just need a plan for making it better, & something to carry you over the "hump", so to speak. You can do this. And, hey! You're here on PsychCentral. And this is a great place to start!

Well I used to Roleplay, which is where all of my online friends come from, but we have all gotten older and "real life" basically made it so none of us could really do it anymore. I don't have a webcam and don't know if any of them do or not. I guess I could ask. I'm always a mess, tho, because if I "get ready" and end up not going anywhere, I tend to get even more depressed. So I'm pretty much in my PJs / lounge clothes all the time.

My attempt almost 3 years ago.. doctors said I was 15 minutes away from succeeding. I wish that I had never called out for help when I woke up scared and reacting like I did. I wish I had just remembered what was going on and let it happen :/

I guess I just feel like the things that have kept me going all this time aren't really succeeding anymore.

[wolfatheart]

Originally Posted by CountingSheep

Hey there. I can sort of relate to a little of what youre going through now. I'm 21 and only have 3 friends (with one being online and on the rocks at the moment), two of which I met in middle/high school. Since I graduated I haven't been able to make any new friends. Now, I say I've got three friends but I feel like we're drifting, which is probably my fault since I always wait for them to initiate contact because I feel like im bugging them if I do it first. That mentality is working against me but I can't seem to get over it.

The job I currently have only allows me to have contact with the elderly, which isnt really a good environment for a 21 year old to make friends.

So I basically don't talk to anyone unless they do it first, and spent most of my free time reading, gaming, or on the net. I'm looking into getting a new job that'll allow me to socialize more, and once we settle down in our new apartment (my mother and i are currently in-between houses right now) I plan to look around the area for clubs/groups I can go to.

In the meantime though I've been trying to become comfortable with doing solitary activities, Im an introvert so that really isnt hard, im more trying to ignore the fact that I dont have many friends. Keep telling myself it'll happen eventually as long as I work towards it.

Sometimes when I think I'm cooping myself up in the house too much I'll grab my ipod and just go for a long walk, or I'll get a book and find someplace nice to read. Sometimes I'll go out on a run. Since godzilla came out recently I plan to go see that, even if I'll be going alone.

I'm really sorry you're feelin the way you are, and I hope this clears up positively real soon. Have you tried meetup.com? I've given it a once over and have found some groups I'd be interested in going to, the tough part is getting over the nervousness lol. You might find some things that interest you on there, and if you do go you might find some people you click with.

It's hard for me to get around because of the social anxiety and the fact that I don't have a vehicle. Plus there is no public transportation in the area that I'm in, so. It's really a struggle. I may take a look at that site anyway to just check it out.

I've found that every job I've had when I switch jobs, I can never keep the friends from the old one :/ Since I don't have one right now, I don't even have "work" friends.

I've had friends in the past where I've felt that I was constantly the one to initiate contact and that can really hurt any relationship because you feel like either they don't wanna hang out or that you're bugging them. Some people (most people) seem to just wait for others to come to them so.. that's hard. I've gone through that a lot :/

I've come to realize that being alone isn't all that bad.

At least then no one can hurt me and I can't hurt them.

At least that's what I keep telling myself whenever I start to think I'm lonely.

[avlady]

I know what it's like to be alone even though i have husband and son. my husband is at work most of the day, my son is in between jobs but stays by himself most of the day. I was always a loner even in grammer school, and high school but when i got to college i was social butterfly until i was in an accident and had to drop out in my 4th year. i also had a suicide attempt in high school, i took some pills, but it didn't work. I am bipolar and schitzoaffective, have a head injury from a few accidents i was in too. I've been in several hospitals pshyc wards throughout my life, i didn't like it at first, but am now glad my parents put me there, i fought it the whole way. Well i hope you feel better soon.

In reality I don't have any friends. I mean, I have online friends, but even then it's kind of lonely. The only people I literally speak to everyday are my sisters and my nephew. I used to speak to my mother too, but my relationship with her got torn up about two and a half weeks ago. Because both of my sisters are fraternal twins they have better conversations with each other then they do with me. However no matter how many conversations I have with family members they're still strangers to me because they're not very supportive or understanding. It's hard to be close to people who don't really listen or hear you.

I also feel like a lot of people on here are older than me and have spouses and kids and stuff. So it IS hard to relate. My outings consist of grocery shopping and job searches and that's about it.

I do pretty much what BeteNoire does. I just think, "Maybe it's not really worth the trouble." All I ever find is disappointment anyway. Then I start to realize that maybe it's not so much that I'm lonely because I don't have friends, but the influence to have friends because I'm surrounded by people who have other people. I don't know.

I won't even mention relationships. I will not touch that. lol

[wolfatheart]

Originally Posted by BeteNoire

I've come to realize that being alone isn't all that bad.

At least then no one can hurt me and I can't hurt them.

At least that's what I keep telling myself whenever I start to think I'm lonely.

I tend to tell myself this a lot, too.

[wolfatheart]

Originally Posted by XantheoftheSun

In reality I don't have any friends. I mean, I have online friends, but even then it's kind of lonely. The only people I literally speak to everyday are my sisters and my nephew. I used to speak to my mother too, but my relationship with her got torn up about two and a half weeks ago. Because both of my sisters are fraternal twins they have better conversations with each other then they do with me. However no matter how many conversations I have with family members they're still strangers to me because they're not very supportive or understanding. It's hard to be close to people who don't really listen or hear you.

I also feel like a lot of people on here are older than me and have spouses and kids and stuff. So it IS hard to relate. My outings consist of grocery shopping and job searches and that's about it.

I do pretty much what BeteNoire does. I just think, "Maybe it's not really worth the trouble." All I ever find is disappointment anyway. Then I start to realize that maybe it's not so much that I'm lonely because I don't have friends, but the influence to have friends because I'm surrounded by people who have other people. I don't know.

I won't even mention relationships. I will not touch that. lol

I was in a class at my church for depression and literally I was the youngest one there. Everyone else but one other woman was married and had kids (and even the woman who wasn't had been married and was divorced). I couldn't really relate to any of them because of that, plus most of them had gotten depressed after they had kids and stuff and didn't grow up with it like I had.

My only outing consist of grocery shopping, too. I don't think I've been out of the house now for maybe 2 weeks?