BF pulling away - withdrawing from Paxil - don't know what to do

I"m sorry....we're here for you no matter what happens, Brianna

Thank you, waiting. I did an hour of yoga. That has calmed down at least some of the anxiety..

I'm so sorry for the loss of your grandma. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

Why did you say that?

IT it seems to me you have a fully functioning poll for that question. She said it because she loves him. I think questioning her motivation for that statement may not be helpful or supportive, in this thread.

Yeah I'm a little confused by that question but I said it because I do and I wanted to make sure he knew even though we were going through a rough spot. It was quite painful to not hear it back but I'm beginning to accept it.

withdrawing from an antidepressant can be horrible for some people. i was on the second lowest dose of effexor xr and i had horrible anxiety & stress when i went off it that i sure never had before. to be honest i'm not sure the stress has ever gone away and it's been several years since i stopped the drug. the one thing that has helped is doing a detox tea but it only helps for a few days. i'd suggest taking stress tabs (hi potency vitamin B complex). i'm not very consistent with taking them so can't tell if they work but they probably would. i also experienced the numbing you mentioned being on the AD but when my doc had me take half the amount twice daily rather than once a day it went away. i couldn't take more of the drug though without the numbing coming back. so, i'd cut him a whole lot of slack as he's dealing with a lot on top of the crazy drug withdrawal. have you asked him how you can support him, if there is anything you can do? maybe that would help.

Thank you for your input! I want to believe all this is because of the medication and it will go back to normal soon but I'm losing hope. Yeah I asked him what I could do but he just said he didn't want to be a burden to me because I already had enough on my plate. Then he told me that he just wanted to be alone and I decided the best thing I could do for him was to leave him alone and take the pressure of being a good boyfriend off of him. That was a week ago, I haven't heard anything from him since. I did email him with some suggestions once - and included that I heard b-complex vitamins will help. The problem is I'm hesitant to give him advice he hasn't asked for - I'm afraid he'll be less likely to take it. So I think I'll wait another week - until I get back from my friends wedding - and then check in on him.

Guys I don't think I can do this anymore. I really hate not knowing what is going to happen. I imagine him thinking I've abandoned him and making a decision about the promotion without even talking to me.

Well folks, I think I hit bottom. I knew better but I mixed a little bit of wine and a little bit of Xanax last night and ended up in detox after telling 911 I was having suicidal thoughts. Really one of the worst nights/mornings of my life. Never been so happy for being able to go to work!

((((((((((((((((((((((((Brianna84))))))))))))))))))))))))

Don't do that again silly girl. Glad you got through what must have been a really sh***y night...
Have you reached out to your man?

Yeah and it was part of what set me off. I had finally broken down and texted him on Tuesday afternoon. Conversation went like this:

Me: Hey just checking in - how are things going?
Him (several hours later): Hi. I'm pretty stressed out and don't really know which way is up. I'm sorry I've been distant and unavailable. I know you're headed to Alaska and I hope it's a good time. I think I'm going to be moving soon
Me: Please define "think" and "soon".
Him: Well it's all up in the air. But things are in motion but I am not really privy to it all.
Me: I have so many questions.
It was at this point I had my "episode".
Him (next afternoon): I know. It's not really clear to me except I think they're firing someone on the front range
Me: Ok. Well I think we should have a sit down talk next week after I'm back.

The end. The anger is really starting to set in. I'm ****ing pissed today.

I don't blame you. I think you've been amazing at keeping it in, and trying to protect his feelings, but at this point, I think I'd be ready to just toss it, and him, into the bin.

please don't mix any drugs & alcohol again, okay? you are worth so much more than that. i think it is fine to set some boundaries with this guy. i would tell him that i need some answers and will not be waiting around forever and shutting you out is not working. he is not being fair to you at all. personally, i'd put a time limit on this but i'm not sure if it's best to communicate that or not because that can come off like an ultimatum which isn't usually such a good idea. he may be stressed to the hilt but to shut you out like this really isn't cool.

Yeah if I didn't know better before my experience the other night taught me an important lesson on that one.

I wrote a strongly worded email today (never to be sent). I had too much time to think on a long drive today and got so angry. Writing helped but I'm really tempted to just break up with him right now. I'm so freaking mad. This is so unfair.

Yeah, it is unfair. He is fully immersed in his own deal. At some point he will wake up from this after all the dust settles and wonder what happened. (I'm serious, he won't know) and you have to decide if you are going to be there to ask or not.
Good to know you can write it down and Not send! It does help get some of the turmoil out but it doesn't answer the questions.
Wish I could wave a magic wand over him (or smack him with it~ KIDDING)

Best to you B

Going to see counselor tomorrow - they made me make an appointment before they'd discharge me from detox...

What do I talk to him about?

Saw my counselor today. He made me feel much better, much less like a crazy person. Confirmed my "diagnosis" of bf with globalized anxiety disorder.

I think the way all this is going to end is I'm going to give him one more week (while his bro is in town on the off-chance bro might be able to talk some sense into him) and then have "the talk". I'm just going to tell him how much he's hurt me, that I think he needs help, and that we're over. Without cussing him out. Wish I could stick around to love and help him but he doesn't want it and is moving anyway. So this is it unless there is some miraculous turnaround.

that sounds like a good plan. i am sorry he has treated you so poorly during this time.

Today was a bad day. I got sucked into what happened with his ex, so I searched his Facebook until I found her and then looked through her public profile on Facebook. When that wasn't enough, I created a fake Facebook profile and friended her so I could see the rest of it. She didn't accept so I never got to see it. I came to my senses and deleted the fake profile but I sure feel like I'm losing my mind here. Hey, at least it's not detox.

I also saw him while out driving around today. Oh my god did that hurt.

Final update:

After almost of month of no contact, except for that one night when I texted him how it was going, I finally insisted on a sit-down conversation with BF. He was resistant, but I insisted he give me what explanation he could.

So we're officially done, as of a week ago. I don't know if it was the Paxil or just an incompatibility. His reasons include that he couldn't imagine living with my son and I because we have different parenting styles and because he's neurotic about cleaning, and also his job is transferring him and he doesn't want to take me away from here because I have a lot going for me here.

It's been hard. I've never been so hurt by another living person. I never met a man that I thought I could marry. He was my best friend and it all just seemed to happen so fast. I guess I'm doing pretty good, I still cry every day but I am functioning and taking pretty good care of myself. So I guess that's the end of the story. Thank you all for listening and giving support and advice. I really do appreciate it.

i'm really sorry it didn't work out as you had hoped. at least you found out now before marrying him.