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#1
Jun 07, 2014, 01:43 PM
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seriously... it is kind of tragic because I'm in love with him..... and he returns my feelings
but than there are some periods where he is just so much of a pessimist it is almost unbearable.... I can't say anything to calm him down... it is so stressful. yet when he is ok, he is the sweetest man alive... he is tender, funny and inteligent, he can calm me down when I'm anxious.... understanding and respectful ect. and than he goes mad again... selfish and pessismistic...... I don't know... we've been apart for two moth.... and that was hell because the reasonless breakup.... and now I'm equally miserable. I know if he is done with his exams he'll be fine and we'll share some good time again... but how long can I take this roller coster? I don't know..... when he is alright he is open for talking and problem solving... until he hits that spot again. and i'm mainly alone... kinda out of social groups... working to get into one too... i'm often terribly lonely... and one week I can call him up and it is relise and the other week it is just more stress... i'll give him a few shots because I just... really love him, but i'm in pain... I mean do I need more stress?could it be better if go to conseling? 
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#2
Jun 07, 2014, 02:00 PM
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Therapy is of course, an option. Depending on what you are trying to gain from it. It's tough being the loved one, of someone with a diagnosed illness.
Roller coaster relationships are tough. Hope you can both resolve this, together. Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk |
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#3
Jun 07, 2014, 02:15 PM
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I am very close to give up.... because I'm not fine aswell..... even though breaking up will kindof destroy me.... but at least that is repairable
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#4
Jun 07, 2014, 02:17 PM
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What makes u call him psychotic??
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#5
Jun 07, 2014, 02:17 PM
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I'm crying like a baby right now... I have no one to help me......
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#6
Jun 07, 2014, 02:24 PM
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Quote:
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I pray that I am wrong, while fighting to prove I'm right. Me~ Myself~ and I . |
 healingme4me
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#7
Jun 07, 2014, 02:44 PM
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Quote:
in the past two years he first had been diagnostised as bipolar II, but the treatment didn't help at all. than all his symptoms turned very bad... he got to an other psychiatrist. He didn't have any halucinations but most of the other features of his illnes are very close to schizofrenia... well it'd be too long to explain.... so he's on abilify and cipralex now and recieving some therapy from his psychiatrist yet they still don't know what exactly is his problem.... it looks like this medication is helping him... a bit. but still has some periods when he doesn't look like himself (completely different expression on his face) and he is very obsessive and sometimes he tells me he wants to murder people (though he never-ever-ever hurted anyone not even animals....). Last edited by debramorgan42; Jun 07, 2014 at 03:30 PM. |
| healingme4me
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#8
Jun 07, 2014, 04:05 PM
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Quote:
 ) I'm just really confused....ah, I wish I could at least understand his illness.... somehow. I'm trying to as supportive as I can be. but sometimes it looks like it's just his OCD what makes him to say he is psychotic... the other day he is telling all these horrible things and getting into fistfight with his parents who are just.... very-very badly conservative and non-supporting and have no skill to cope with problems like this... I'm constantly asking him to let me come with him to one sitting with his doc, maybe he could tell me something that is more reliable... or maybe I could help him by giving some observations about his "bad moods".... or just some advice how I can help him and avoid the bad fights we have when I'm really anxious and he is... well out of himself (I can not really define it....) I'm thinking about maybe it'd be a help if we go to some couple conselling to learn some trouble solving together... but there is a chance that it wouldn't mater. I'll be learning psychology/sociology (depends on which I can get in right now... but I'll do my masters at psychology anyway)... but I am neighter now.... and I know I couldn't help on this situation even if I were a trained and experienced therapist because I'm emotionally linked with him..... it is just soooo dificult and confusing.
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| healingme4me
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#9
Jun 08, 2014, 03:50 PM
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Yeah I think the reason JunkDNA asked is because nothing you're talking about sounds even remotely like psychosis...a lot of people with OCD worry that they are psychotic because of the intensity of their thoughts. The bipolar you mentioned explains mood changes etc. Psychosis is more like not wanting to kiss you because your face just morphed into something grotesque or a voice said you were evil etc. There aren't major personality changes just scary things happening people following your etc. more social withdrawal. It's just easier for people to help if they know what the problem actually is...
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Hugs! 
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#10
Jun 08, 2014, 05:44 PM
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Quote:
he was treated as a bipolar for a year, got lithium first and other medicines but they didn't change anything.... although this current medication kinda works, but i'm not sure about his psychiatrist.... because I don't really see how he is giving him therapy besides strong medication.... (we have some conservative pdocs that are only believe in meds....) and also I deeply believe that the core of his problems are the stress from school (he is doing his masters as a chemist and the school itself is incredibly hard and this is his second run on getting his degree...) and all the negative talk and fights with his parents -especially from his mother... he constantly gets all these devaluing comments and all when he is very sensitive and has low self-esteem.... he is overwhelmed by this unnecassary shame that he feels about his failures - planted by his mom by constantly saying he is a failure... (pointing that work is the most important thing in life and one who doesn't work should be ashamed of himself - aaand school is not work ofcourse.... ) even when he graduated with straight As (5s here) from highschool and got his bachelor degree with an A.... and I could go on with these.... the result was that by the time his 4th semester he started to get panic attacks in the lab and was really afraid and anxious even going near a laboratory - which in that case is a disaster..... I assume that his "agressive moods" are mainly because of all the stress is building up in him and... he is just can't control his anger (saying he wants to murder people) and he is depressed and obsessive.... and that's why he is getting paranoid about his collage mates and school ....and like with myself the case is that all the other bad things just built upon these untreated stuff. I'm afraid that one day he will commit suicide - because he can be quite suicide in these bad moods... I'm planning to search for somebody who is good with cognitive therapy.... because I guess it would help him if he could somehow learn how to get out of a circle of bad obsessive thoughts..... Idk it is a good idea?:/ what's your opinion? or am I just over thinking this as I usually do with everything? Last edited by debramorgan42; Jun 08, 2014 at 06:03 PM. Reason: blah |
| healingme4me
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#11
Jun 08, 2014, 06:25 PM
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It's sometimes easier, on this side of another's illness, to see potential and ways to learn to manage it. It's just we aren't them, they aren't us.
Does he see a counselor in addition to pdoc? Meds alone won't bring about recovery, where a person with mi is managing their illness and behaving in a functional manner. CBT, may actually be beneficial to you, as well. Anxiety and Depression go with being partners of those with illness.  Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk |
| debramorgan42
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#12
Jun 08, 2014, 06:31 PM
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no, he doesn't it's the same doc....
I would need cbt anyways, because I'm dealing with depressive periods.... only I can't really afford it.... and that's probably why I want to help him somehow because it looks like if he can't get better it is also hopeless for me (because of some similarities)..... and this stuff all came up by trying to figure out how to deal with his problems - how to deal with eachother.... |
| healingme4me
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#13
Jun 08, 2014, 06:33 PM
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How can you leave, if you don't know how to 'stay' . Here's what I mean. You state you love him, yet, he has an illness that hinders happiness through dysfunction in your relationship. Staying, involves working on yourself. You matter. In doing so, you'll reach a point, of knowing why you stay. If, as you discover, all you try isn't working. Moving forward, you have skills, that you didn't possess previously. And, from there, all in your love life, is by choice. No more, anxiety, for fearing how to handle another's illness. Because, statistically speaking, bound to find another with an illness. Hope that sheds insight. Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk |
| debramorgan42
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#14
Jun 08, 2014, 06:37 PM
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Quote:
Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk |
| debramorgan42
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#15
Jun 08, 2014, 06:44 PM
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thanks! I learned that there is no clear way.... but I hope to find a path that is walkable...
my whole situation is just not set for a decision like this... as you mentioned. I'm just too stuck, and have too much time to think aswell... looks like on bad days I watch for kids lol and I'm still figuring it out if we got enough cooperation... |
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#16
Jun 08, 2014, 07:35 PM
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I was wondering, what is your plan of action for yourself? What are you doing to help you? I hope that you spend some time seeking help for yourself and in the process you might learn ways to better be of help to him, if that's how you wish to proceed...and by finding balance, support for yourself, maybe counseling, friendships, you will uncover tools that will help lift you up and out of the fray...helping you to see things more clearly... I hear the stress and anxiety. Please, take care of yourself. That's OK to do. Maybe you can even tell yourself, the relationship does not have to end right this minute. Because that might be too much for you right now. But, just say to yourself, I'm taking a little break. Going to spend some time figuring out what "I" need to work on...just for today. Can't solve it all right now...easy does it...these are just my thoughts, take in what you like and leave the rest...a big hug to you...
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#17
Jun 08, 2014, 07:37 PM
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Is he aware of these periods and does he recognize it as an issue?...I mean one reason I am afraid of getting into a relationship is because I am afraid when my depression and other issues really get to me it would cause trouble with the relationship. But yeah if he recognizes it is he getting any help or therapy? If he is more reasonable when he's in a better state perhaps having a serious conversation with him about it at that point would be a good idea...let him know you care about him but its difficult to deal with it when he acts that way and its concerning. Perhaps getting counseling yourself could be useful as they might have some advice on how to deal with this....or maybe both of you going to like couples counseling could help. But it takes two people he'd have to be willing to put in some effort to just like you for things to work out.
But yeah that sounds more like depression issues than psychotic issues.....I get like that to and I hate it because I know it can be hard for others to deal with.
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Winter is coming. |
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#18
Jun 08, 2014, 07:48 PM
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Cbt is a great form of therapy I had it for psychosis and it really helped...it helped me deal with the oddity I was experiencing but also helped reduce the anxiety I had in dealing with the world so less stress is less triggering of my illness. Yeah so if he's paranoid about his friends he might be edging into psychosis that would qualify. So people with bipolar can become psychotic and it doesn't mean they have schizophrenia so much as bipolar 1. Usually it's associated with manic states which can be triggered by everything from stress to sunlight to seemingly nothing at all. Do you know if he takes an antipsychotic? They are very commonly used as mood stabilizers in bipolar but can also help get rid of paranoia etc. So in the US the pdocs are pretty much meds only as well but they will refer you to a psychologist if they think it will help....in my opinion it's always helpful but for anything above a personality disorder I think the meds are a first line of defense. Bipolar is one of the hardest things to treat...often people are on a cocktail of five or so meds and it helps to see a pdoc who specializes in bipolar because it's so complex. It might help if you were to read some of the posts on the bipolar forum and see it from their eyes...
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Hugs!
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