[seawhale]

Without stating too much details, I and him were friends for several months, and then we had a small fight which escalated into a bigger fight over emails and phone calls, we settled the subject and next day he called me again to provoke me, the problem went into a very very big one and I blocked him on fb, then we made a peace agreement and shared apologizes. We are sitting in the same office together btw, and we got back together on fb.

Then and although we settled everything, he started bullying me without any reason, he just want to raise troubles with me, after the fight I was so careful about every action and every word in order to avoid him and avoid any future conflicts or fights, I did not even say one word that even may makes him upset, a couple of weeks ago he unfriended me suddenly on fb, then I asked him why, he just said any nonsense reason and then he asked me to add him again, I did and he accepted.

He is making tricky and provocative actions, talking sometimes in a bad way, we are at the same level, same age, he has no authority on me, leaving his empty cup on my desk intentionally, and much more provocative actions that he does it to just stress me, today he unfriended me on fb again, but ok this time I don't care and I will not even ask him why.

He is talking about me bad I am sure several of our mutual coworkers changed with me.

Now what can I do with him.

- Tried to totally avoid someone who is sitting in the desk in front of me and have some common work together is almost impossible.
- Bully him back: ok but he is really and evil person and aggressive and bullying him back will not solve the issue, it will just make the problem worse.
- Official complain: well I do not want to put my self into such situation like a small kid, going to the manager and complain about his college like school pupils, moreover, results and consequences are not guaranteed.
- leaving the company because of someone is also nonsense and finding a new job is never that easy.
- I tried many times to talk to him very kindly, friendly and peacefully to improve our relation status, he just pretend that there is nothing wrong and everything is ok.

How to live with this idiot, I want to live and work in peace, please advice.

[waiting4]

I know you would prefer not, but I thi k this is a time to get your manager/supervisor involved. At the very least, human resourses. Mediation with a third party may help...but definately document all instances where u felt bullied. In the corporate world, if it isn't documented, it didn't happen.

Good luck!

[seawhale]

Originally Posted by waiting4

I know you would prefer not, but I thi k this is a time to get your manager/supervisor involved. At the very least, human resourses. Mediation with a third party may help...but definately document all instances where u felt bullied. In the corporate world, if it isn't documented, it didn't happen.

Good luck!

You are absolutely right. However, I will leave this as the last option and will wait to see how things will go on the coming weeks, may be changing my desk to another location. He is just an ill person. Thanks a lot

[hannabee]

Yes, you need to involve your manager and you need to document everything. Maybe he is jealous of your competency and feels that you are a threat (you make him look bad or mediocre in his skills).
I think you have tried hard enough to befriend him and handle this on your own. This is your livelihood, why are you allowing someone to make you miserable while at work?

[seawhale]

Originally Posted by hannabee

Yes, you need to involve your manager and you need to document everything. Maybe he is jealous of your competency and feels that you are a threat (you make him look bad or mediocre in his skills).

I think you have tried hard enough to befriend him and handle this on your own. This is your livelihood, why are you allowing someone to make you miserable while at work?

Yes he carries so much hatred towards me, I feel that even a while before our big fight, don't know why!

There are some factors to consider before escalating the issue to managers:
- I guess that he might have recorded something during our fight over the phone, seized a part of my words to him while shouting or cursing him, yes it reached that we cursed each other, but this was about a couple of month ago.
- currently I have some emails between us that proof he is not doing his work in the way it should be at the same time of the fight (may be for that, he tried to provoke me afterwards to record something bad about me as I mentioned above).
- There are two possibilities if I complained about him, the first that he will play his record and i will be the guilty one and I do not have records for him, so I will defend my self verbally. The second possibility is that I succeeded to win the battle somehow, then I am sure that if I caused him problems or embarrassing, he will not let it go and will revenge, which will cause me feel always insecure

[hannabee]

Hmmmmm, now this is sounding more like a problem, a rather big problem. If it were me, I would see if I could make a move within the company. I would probably avoid him as much as possible, but I would be extremely polite and nice to him. You cannot have any more fights with him or I fear you BOTH may lose your jobs. I might even secretly being looking for a "better" position to get you out of there and away from him. Office politics really do suck!

[seawhale]

Originally Posted by hannabee

Hmmmmm, now this is sounding more like a problem, a rather big problem. If it were me, I would see if I could make a move within the company. I would probably avoid him as much as possible, but I would be extremely polite and nice to him. You cannot have any more fights with him or I fear you BOTH may lose your jobs. I might even secretly being looking for a "better" position to get you out of there and away from him. Office politics really do suck!

Thanks so much for your kind reply.

I am so miserable person and life is too tough to be afforded
I do not want money, I do not want any thing from this life, I just want the peace of mind

[healingme4me]

I'd toss his non work items in the garbage.

I'd see to it those emails casually made it into my bosses office.

I'd ignore him, focus only on work.

[hvert]

Go to the manager/supervisor and say that you need help dealing with this situation. You can phrase it in a way so that you don't sound like a tattle-tale. Explain what happened and say you don't know how to resolve it. Maybe you could ask for mediation. It's in management's interest to settle this as well.

[lilypup]

First off, stay off Facebook with coworkers. He doesn't need to know what is going on in your personal life. This "friending" and "unfriending" sounds really childish. If I knew two of my co-workers were wasting time on this it would definitely be a negative for a better job or recommendation.

[QuasiM0d0]

My opinion is you need to go to the HR Manager. That is their job. Your friend will more than likely receive a formal warning. Let the HR Manager advise you on what to do.

Kind regards,
QuasiM0D0