Feeling weird...

By weird, well not many people in real life know this, but then I am 34 and I've never dated before...

I think in a sense this may make me sound bad, but then the cause of MI is not that severe compared to others here and in the real world. I have a good home, job, food to eat, clothes to wear, parents who love me, goals, etc. but then I feel this anchors me down.

The thing is, it's confusing to me. A lot of women tell me that I am a nice guy, and am respectful, and I tend to get more female friends/acquaintances/casual friends than anything else. I think this is conscious on my part, because as a teen I didn't date and even now I tend to make friends purposefully with women to compensate for that.

But then I'm not sure what I am doing wrong or even right. I am a bit overweight, and this can be a bar, but then I feel a bit lost. I also find much dating advice is not in tune with my personality and environment, especially stuff on Youtube or the Web in general. I've been thinking of getting a life coach or therapist, but I saw one in this regard and they were a bit hostile and kind of confusing. I know being a bit overweight can be a bar, but then they said it always is, which is weird since many bigger people get dates.

I sometimes feel as if I could go back in time to when I was 16 and tell myself then what I know now.

This is a ramble, and may not make sense immediately, and perhaps is too tl;dr. However, to suffice, I feel lost since I don't really know how to get a woman and it confuses/irks me.

I think it is hard because the man has to make all the moves. Culturally at least. If you are shy and not great with initial conversation and not a "player" it makes it real hard. Sometimes things just happen without doing anything. I have watched guys just go up to a girl pumping gas and start talking and get her number. Why can't I do that. At one point I got over that hump and could ask a girl to coffee without to much trouble. But then what do i talk about. How do I be interesting. I am great once I know someone and they know me.

I guess the best thing is take the first step and if you see a girl you like just ask her for coffee.

Weight is not always an issue. It's a personal preference. It's a major stigma in our society but there are many people to whom weight is not an issue. There are other things so much more important than weight: personality, hygiene, motivation, sense of humour, etc, which of course are all subjective as well. Each person has different preferences. I would discard what that coach told you about it always being an issue. It's not true. When I look around, I see plenty of "unattractive" people getting dates, because they're confident. And to most people that's the biggest turn-on.
I can understand feeling weird about not having a date/relationship til this far in your life but you are actually still young, and (just my opinion) there's nothing wrong with that at all. Everyone has a different path in life. I guess it's just important that you identify what it is that you want. Dates? You want to meet women? Many people have a difficult time meeting and connecting with others. And not just on a dating level. If you say that you've made female friends then that is a good sign; it means you know how to communicate with women and that you're not just starting from the ground up, so to speak.
I agree with zinco. If you meet someone you're interested in, just ask her to go for coffee. It doesn't have to be a big deal (although I'm sure it will be, to you), just coffee for starters. Get to know her. You may go on tons of coffees before meeting someone you have a deeper connection with. You may end up going on many dates with women. And once you start it won't be a big deal anymore.
I think the important thing to remember is that everyone's journey is different, and that there is no right or wrong way. (Unless, of course, it's harming someone.)

I had a friend who was in his late 30s with this problem. He finally found a therapist that really helped him, but he did go through several who were not that helpful years earlier.

If you haven't already, I would start asking your female friends if they know anyone they can set you up with i.e. blind date. Maybe some of them would also be willing to give you tips on how to develop a romantic relationship as opposed to a friendship.

I am not sure how much the weight thing affects men. I know that as a female, it was WAY easier to get dates when I was a proper weight than when I was just 25 lbs overweight. Like night and day. I do think that you can meet people when you are overweight, you just meet a lot more of them when you aren't. I've actually noticed that this seems to apply (for me) in forming friendships.

I think getting a counselor is a good idea. Of all your female friends, is there one you'd like to date? Have you asked her? If she said no, can you ask her why she said no? Now would be the time to get honest answers.

Being a bit overweight is no problem to some people. There is a guy where I work who is sometimes a bit heavier, sometimes a bit thinner but he is always a bit pudgy and he is so cute! In looks and personality! If I were his age, I'd be making eyes at him big-time!

So don't assume your weight is a bar to all dates. A supermodel might say no to you, but a woman who has her own few extra pounds to lose might say yes--something to keep in mind.

What do you like to do? Do you like to dance? Go skating? Bicycling? Go kayaking? Do you like the opera or the theater or certain bands? If you are going to date you need to get out and be seen. Doing what you enjoy makes you your most attractive self to others who also enjoy your interests or hobbies.

Do you go to religious services? This might be a way for you to meet people.

If you volunteer at women-friendly places, you are bound to meet women. Animal shelters, save the earth type organizations, charities of all sorts are possibilities.

Something I have noticed lately around where I live: Men who are no longer kids -- so your age up to their 40s and 50s -- wearing the most outlandish getups I've seen since the 60s. Old ill-fitting worn out shorts paired with an offensive t-shirt and white socks and wingtip shoes--wearing that outfit is going to make your search for a woman 10 times harder. Weird hair, bizarre facial hair and strange hats are also off-putting. The skater boy look on older men is scary. It should go without saying but apparently not given what I see on a daily basis, so I'll say it: don't smell, don't smell weird or wear loud fragrance, do keep your teeth nice, don't pick your nose, don't spit on the sidewalk or have grubby nails, or be rude to strangers.

In conversation with women, don't bring up your mother and remember most people like to talk about themselves. I hope this helps

I'm just wondering if you really want to have a relationship/date or if it's something you feel you 'should' be doing or have done because other people do?

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why not? it may go against your morality, but meh...