My girlfriend choked me twice

I'd this was unusual behavior for her then she should see her doctor as there may be a serious medical issue

The only witness was our dog! Pity he can't talk!

Slightly. I know that she has slashed the tyres of her ex boyfriends car, threatened any of her younger sisters (who she is protective of) boyfriends and says if they wrong her then they will have my fiancé to answer to.

I've never been in trouble with the Police at all.

I think that would be a fine idea if the courts did insist on this.

That's a good point actually, yes her parents know full well that the room was dark when the attack took place so there's no way that I'll be held accountable for 'knowing' where I was lashing out at.

If they do lie then it's very much a case of like mother like daughter.

I will try going round there obviously when my fiancé is out so that I don't create any further tension between us and telling them exactly what happened.

I believe there is an undiagnosed condition of some sort that has caused her to flip like she did.

She is a bit of a Tomboy if that's any help.

Your GF should get psychiatric help. She has issues that need to be addressed.

Personally, I'd drop her like a hot rock, but then I'm not the forgiving type.

Good luck.

Do you have an idea of what issues she could be suffering from, just so I know what to pinpoint to the Doctor?

I'm forgiving and I've done all I can with apologies etc but she just won't budge.

She sounds bipolar.

I suspect this too.

I think she would benefit from a bit of medication. She's got an edge to her that is, as you well know, not under control.

That's all it could take to help her.

But the difficult part is getting herself to recognise that she has a problem.

I wish so much that she would do something about it and I really want to help her because I still love her despite what she did to me.

I used to say that all the time about my ex. If he'd only this....if he only that. Wishful thinking on my part, despite knowing there's help to regain health.

Even if he did, the dynamics of the marriage were set in stone.

Was better to address my reasons and excuses and my self and my role, than to try and fix/rescue/force to see the light.

It's a bit co dep, or so many attest to...

Wish you well in your choices.

Bipolar disorder doesn't automatically mean violence at the flip of a switch. She could have any number of mental illnesses, or a brain tumor, or just a really bad case of PMS.

We can't diagnose her over the internet, or by snippets of information we received from a concerned third party. And, until she seeks help, she isn't going to get a definitive diagnosis, let alone treatment for that diagnosis.

And although I am under treatment and take quite the cocktail of medications to manage my symptoms, I still lose my temper and sometimes I even lose my mind. And I do not have Bipolar Disorder.

After reading some of the other comments I'm inclined to agree that you will never have any kind of meaningful relationship with this woman based on her blatant disregard for the truth. And if she would lie about being abused, what else would she lie about?

Best to steer clear of this one.

I suppose that's if she chooses to get treatment because she is very stubborn and bitter.

She has proven to me that she is capable of anything now, she is not the girl I thought she was nor is she the girl I loved and knew.

To be honest, I'm more shocked & disappointed at her attitude to her behaviour than scared, it's just....not her. She was always reasonable before.

Have read most of the thread and just had a quick question - has she been on any psych med of any kind like an antidepressant? The reason I ask is that you have said that she was always reasonable before and it's now known that in some people these can cause adverse reactions and a person can become delusional or aggressive.

If not, then I definitely would agree to stay clear because of her unpredictable aggression.

Not that I'm aware of no.

But she has always been moody and sulky but this was more extreme on the night of the fight.

She is like a Jekyll & Hyde character, she's nice and normal in front of people then when we're behind closed doors she gets sulky.

The right thing to do.

Have you given her an expensive ring? If you havent seen her in a month, and she was so testy that last time - it really bothers me that you had to see to your own supper, even before the altercation - i think its possible she is seeing someone else. It sounds like she has moved on psychologically. She was literally trying to get rid of you, make space for the next guy.

The value of the ring doesn't bother me, it's purpose mattered to me more.

I have retrieved the ring back now.

I know for a fact that there is nobody else, she is not the sort of girl to cheat & when she tried to get me not to leave, that means she put up a fight (no pun intended) for me to stay then because she wanted me.

But that said ,,, You never thought she would try to choke you to death either .....

your fiancé sounds quite unstable and violent with trying to choke you, slashing an ex's tires, threatening others and hitting the dog. you don't even know what the "episode" is her father is referring to.

i would consider yourself lucky she doesn't want to be with you anymore. i'd stay as far away from her as possible and i'd get some help regarding why you'd be with such an abusive person. you have been ignoring multiple red flags for awhile now about this woman. cut your losses, get help and run far from her.

Her father was a bit vague when he reffered to her as having an episode but I think it will be related to some sort of disorder.

I have a meeting with my Doctor tomorrow about Depression.

I think anyone who is choking their partner and trying to strangle them should be dumped immediately and reported to the police.

I still have the option to do that but I am trying to be reasonable with her beforehand. I have given her ample opportunity to talk to me and for me to understand her reasons for getting violent but it's falling on deaf ears.

I just feel that she is keeping me 'hanging' and I'm getting rather frustrated by her childish behaviour so maybe if I do report her and she gets a little visit from the Police, that will shake her up & she will be held accountable for her outburst.

Seems the longer one waits on police involvement, the less serious one is taken. Maybe, that's just how it is in the states?

I'm reading that you are going to give her a certain amount of time to fess up, or else police? Is she aware of your intentions to involve the police?

But I'm in the United Kingdom.

No she is not aware that I intend to inform the Police, it was just a thought I had lately.

She had the cheek to say to me that she is scared of me! It should actually be the other way around but hey ho, classic abuser language.

If YOU were a woman the she were man she would be in jail... Cut and dry..Your giving out excuse after excuse and spending all kinds of time and energy trying to figure out what in the world is wrong with her .. You will never know the what and why for what she did and what you once had with her.. Thats the past. Im glad your seeing your doctor about the depression that this entire mess has cause you. You are doing the right thing. Close the door on her and move on to the future, You seems like a wonderful person with much love to give the right loving woman.

Only because it's driving me insane with the.....not knowing!!

Thank you. This is as a last resort because I no longer recognise myself & I am emotionally drained.

Thank you.

She is the right woman but she has shown a side that I don't like or think I can return to.