Do you think 50 Shades of Grey is partly to blame for the rise of domestic violence?

I agree but how would you differentiate a drunk dickhead that goes around attacking other men for no reason to a man that abuses his partner?

A drunk dickhead acts on impulse, usually due to poor decision making skills caused by inebriation.


An abuser is cold and calculating. He grooms his victim until she's ripe for abuse. There's also a distinct cycle of abuse, and every abuser follows the same pattern...

Good distinction Trippin2.0. Now what would you say those two people have in common? Recent statistics show many abusers in Australia are heavy drinkers and are often under the influence of alcohol when they are physically abusing their partners which is no surprise since I grew up with an alcoholic abusive father who regularly abused me, my Sister and my Mother. Was it his poor decision making skills that caused him to drink even when he knew what he did to us when he was drunk and would apologise to my Mother every morning or was he cold and calculating and following some type of pattern?

It's your father, Idk the man from Adam.


If I were to guess tho, I wouldn't put him in the drunk dickhead category. His abusive behavior was repetitive, and thus can't be attributed to poor decision making skills or lack of impulse control.

Abusers usually show remorse and promise never to do it again, only to continue their behavior.


Drunk dickheads, can and sometimes do choose to change their behaviour...


For the record, my abusive ex didn't have to be drunk or high, the day he beat me to a pulp he was as sober as can be.

True, can't disagree with anything you've said there.

Right, can you explain to me how women are getting the **** end of the stick if you admit that domestic violence is close to 50/50 yet most female on male domestic violences isn't reported? Isn't that a bit of a contradiction?

You also mention that men are encouraged to overachieve, but women are partly to blame for that. Especially young women, who are becoming so materialistic and shallow that men feel they have to own own it all, a nice house, car, great looks, macho, unemotional tough guy, bad boy, just to impress a woman and get a date.

Also you mention men should take care of their children, and whilst I agree, you forget that some women won't let the father have contact with the child? is that the man's fault?

That's all well and good. Just remember women not to treat men as cash cows. Remember equality and all that

Well the hearth of the feminism issue was to break the family unit apart and for that it has succeeded. Women are now being forced to take on the male role, something they cannot cope with and now the child suffers as a consequence. I know feminists cannot accept we're a sexually dimorphic species with different traits ( one not better then the other may I add) but that what it is. And that's why things are so messed up and will continue to be so until women start actually getting back to being decent mothers to their children rather the being materialistic, stuck up, obsessed with their appearance and trying to play the role of a strong independent man.

I'm afraid women do need protection more then men. Unless you believe the average woman is capable of defending herself as well as the average man. If your country was invaded tomorrow, who do you think would be more likely to defend your country form under attack? Men or women?

I agree parents need to change, feminism is part of the problem not the solution though.

50 Shades is as responsible for domestic abuse as spoons are responsible for making people fat and guns are responsible for killing people. 50 Shades is nothing but a poorly, poorly written book.

I haven't read it but I believe many media outlets and other things that feed into our brains can cause many different rising issues

What I find similar between these two aggressors is both are violent and both set out with intentions of causing harm to another person whether it is physically abusing their wives or girlfriends or taking the life of a young person inside a club with a coward’s punch (king hit) but under the current laws in New South Wales and Victoria a man can kill a person with a coward’s punch and only get four years for it and can even be out for good behavior in two because there is no real way prove a man set out to cause harm to another person when they were drunk inside a court. This wonderful little loophole in our system has been around for a while and if these people weren’t under the influence of alcohol at the time of the attacks they would have received up to 20 years. There was another case last year where a bloke lit a woman on fire but only got five years for it because he was under the influence of alcohol.

Now, I am not saying alcohol is to blame here because I have known many people over the years like my Father In Law (who was a drunk) that made some very bad decisions when they were drinking but the big difference between them and my Father or someone that king hits people is they weren’t violent people nor did they engage in violent activities. Alcohol is becoming an excuse for violence in Australia lately and if our courts are going to continue with this ridiculous Jekyll /Hyde loophole then we might as well do what my Wife wants and illegalise alcohol since it has the power to make people violent and ‘turn men into monsters’ but I believe most of these people are violent to begin with and are in control of their actions but unlike the sober aggressor are even more calculative in some cases because they hide behind being drunk to excuse their actions and it often works inside a court.

They might not mean to intentionally take a person’s life when they king hit them but they do it with the intentions of causing that other person harm and should ultimately be held accountable for their actions and sentenced the same way as a sober person. I agree with your descriptions and both have different methods to their abuse but they are both abusers and they both see violence as power and a sick part of them enjoys it immensely. When your ex-boyfriend or husband abused you it was most likely his way of having power over you just like it was when my Father abused me and the man who raped my Wife when she was younger raped her. When a person king hits another person it is about power too which was why king hits were renamed coward’s punches by the government. This might be going a bit off topic but the question is what makes these people like this? Everybody is innocent at some point of their lives even serial killers and pedophiles. What causes this to change?

I don't know that there's been a rise in domestic abuse, I think there's always been abuse of women only now it's a reportable thing. Women have been treated like slaves throughout history, just in the last 100 years have women had any semblance of equality.

I read 50 shades and yes it's poorly written, but it's not about rape and abuse. It's about women who consent to BDSM practices. For someone like your wife who is not into it, consenting to be whipped etc during sex probably sounds awful. But, for most of us ladies it is a huge turn on. In the bedroom most women want to be dominated by a stronger man, and there is something very sexy about being so passionately desired by a man. I do think that domestic abuse and BDSM are very different though, mainly in BDSm there are safe words and it's done consentually.

That sad thing is, you really believe what you posted there. Just shows that if you keep repeating something over and over, people can believe anything.

The really sad thing is people like you. But, since you're the history buff, please point me to the statistics where as a society we're getting more violent and abuse against women is more prevalent. LOL!

Have we burned many witches lately? Do we still have laws condoning female genital mutilation? Are women traded like property still? Do men still have the legal right to chastise their wives or beat them to death for disobedience? Are women still widely viewed as subservient to men? Are we forbidden from playing sports, seeking education, and politics? Are women still married off with dowries and can they be killed if the dowry isn't fulfilled?

No, society is more violent towards men and always has been. Look up the statistics on that throughout history. And actually still is now.

Men were crucified as well as other tortures throughout history. Men were used as slaves, murdered, beaten, left for dead.

That game goes both ways. This idea of women being oppressed is complete BS for the most part. It does indeed happen in some Islamic countries, it's not a worldwide thing and never was. But of course you'll believe it, because you've been told it by your TV and your media there.

I never said anything about "abuse" of men. Men have always been violent period. I said violence against women (and on a whole) is going down and has been throughout history, and this is well documented.

The idea of women being oppressed is not "complete BS" unless you've got literally no grasp on reality. Women weren't allowed to vote or work outside of the house a hundred years ago, how can you say there's been no oppression, that is the most asinine thing I've ever heard. I suppose you get your facts from the voices in your head right?

Sorry, folks, I'm closing this thread so the team can discuss what needs to be done with it.