Do you think hitting children should be illegal?

This is a subject that has been highly debated in Australia for the past decade and while i don’t know if it is still legal in countries like America, Canada and England smacking children is still legal here and many groups argue smacking is violence towards children and it causes them to become violent later in life while others say it is a form of discipline that teaches them respect. My Wife and I don’t smack our daughters but I grew up with an abusive Father that smacked and punched me regularly because I had disabilities and wasn’t the perfect son he wanted and I know couples that hit their children and I think it is violence against children which is why I am happy to see we are finally going to ban it and starting from next year parents that smack their children in Australia could very well be charged.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you hit your children or were you hit by your parents as a child?

Thankfully my parents never hit me. The concept of hitting your child repulses me. What is wrong with people?! I'm sorry that your father abused you for something out of your control.

I hope that it is banned in Australia soon. Kind of sickening that there is even a debate on it!

I was only spanked mainly. I don't really have a lot of thoughts on it.

I visited the Philippines lately and I found out that it is a crime to hit children. You could go to prison for that. Human rights. Even at schools, teachers are not allowed to hit children. Compared before, everybody got whipped/ hit before.

Hi bobby

I got a spank or two when I was growing up. Nothing abusive though.

I don't personally spank my kids. Just because I've never seen it as a suitable consequence.

Thanks for the heads up that it's going to be illegal here in Aus from next year.

I'm like Hooligan, I got a spank on the booty from time to time but we have other methods my wife and I use.

Now punching and hitting on the fact and stuff? That's abuse. They need to start a line for everyone that thinks it's okay to punch a spouse or child that starts at the door and ends at a meat grinder.

I was abused as a child, so it's a touchy subject for me. I think as long as the punishment isn't done in anger, it can be acceptable. Well, depending on what it is, of course. There are some real sickos out there.

I've swatted my kids on the butt a few times (not in anger), and they usually laughed at me. Lol So it sure didn't work as a correction!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My husband and I have never hit our children. Being hit leaves terrible scars. I have been slapped in the face in public and hit with a belt, shoe, etc. It is humiliating and had me questioning what a child could do so wrong as to have to be beaten. It adds to low self-esteem/self-loathing. Verbal beatings are also scarring! My parents I guess didn't know any better but I promised to do better by my own!

I don't believe in hitting, paddling or "switching" children, as punishment, and view it as abusive. However, in raising our three kids, we sometimes would give them an open-handed swat on the butt to get their attention and reinforce what we were saying. It's non-abusive, IMHO, physically harmless but effective.

I think children shouldn't be smacked. Ever.

It's more a matter of culture and upbringing (therefore education) than law. Even though law punishes the parent, what could punishment be, sum of money paid for smacking the kid? This of course hits the low income families, so kid is additionally being hit by poverty.

New law can be used as means to induce fear from consequences, but I doubt it leads to eliminating violence towards children in the long run. People living in fear are more reactive, therefore more likely violent.

People living in poverty (economic, emotional or mixed) are living in fear already.

I've only been hit in the face a couple of times by my grandma but I didn't really think of it as abuse. I tend to think spanking is okay.

I think swatting, spanking, slapping ANY OF IT is wrong and shows that the perpetrator has little to no ability to control their anger. Get a grip and treat your children with the respect they deserve. NONE OF US asked to be born, we chose to be parents.

It should be against the law, but as someone already pointed out, pretty hard to enforce.

I can count on one hand the times that I had to spank my daughter . Shes 23 now and perfectly fine.

When it happened she was in a full rage on 3-4 year old temper tantrum on the floor in a store and I physically wasn't able to pick her up , smack on her butt , broke the bond of her anger long enough for me to get her walking out the door and home to where time out and loss of toys and her books were the punishment.

I did swat her in anger once, She was 6 maybe 7 and was playing in the back yard with our dog , she walked out the gate and when I saw her on the edge of the pond I ran and jerked her back from the edge and smack her backside very hard... and she knew she was never allowed down the street to a pond full of gators. My fear of what could have happened is what cause me to lash out in anger. I dont regret that at all... She could have been killed.

There is a huge difference between a wack on the butt and abuse .

Just my opinion.

I was hit as a kid and I definitely think it should be illegal. If my parents did what they did to me, to any adult stranger, they could have easily pressed charges.

Hitting a child (even spanking) IS illegal in my country, and it's a law I support. Hitting a child doesn't teach them anything you can't teach them through other, less violent means

I was only ever spanked three times as a child. One time was a couple of pops on the hand and the other times were a few taps on the booty. I think I turned out okay. I definitely know that the spankings established a sense of respect for my mom but fear for my dad. i tended to be more disciplined with my mom and more honest and respectful with her. With my dad he tended to be abusive so the one time I got a spanking from him just put fear into me.

I don't think there's anything wrong with a well intended hand, but I can see how the lines get blurry. With my niece I've only ever spanked her twice when she was really out of control.

I was abused as a child and made a vow to never hit my children. I never did. Hitting a child or any living thing doesn't teach them anything ; only fear, resentment, etec.

As children's brains don't become fully formed until adolescence it seems absurd to punish them harshly for things they don't understand. Worse corporal punishment of children is reported to lead to adverse brain development. Most European countries accept this: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...Europe.svg.png Australia too its seems, to its credit.

I don't think it should be illegal. Lots of very well adjusted kids have come out of both kinds of homes - those that hit and those that don't. And lots of very maladjusted kids have come out of both kinds homes. I would be slow to let the law micromanage what parents can and can't do with their children. There seems to be a consensus among reasonable people about what constitutes abuse. In the U.S., most people don't seem to thing that a smack is automatically abuse. I don't think you can enforce a law that is not in line with what most people think is fair.

In modern times, it seems that there is a trend away from smacking kids, which I think is a good thing. But I would hesitate to say that it is never appropriate.

It seems like America is evolving in the direction of people separating into two camps - those who are disinclined to smack at all and those who are excessively inclined to use physical force on their children. I'm not sure what society can do about the latter group.

I see, after a bit of research on the web, that there are many European countries that have made smacking totally illegal. A link is below. See the map. I wonder how that is working out.

Corporal punishment - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

I don't think anyone other than parents (or whoever is the legal guardian) should smack a child.

Do you think spanked children turn out well because they were spanked, or in spite of it?

Is it possible that well-adjusted children would be even better had they not been hit?

I was just thinking of my own experience as a child. I was smacked by my father only twice that I can remember. Each of those two times, I eminently deserved it. I was smacked by my mother only two or three times that I can remember. Again, as I remember it, I brought those smacks on myself.

I was the eldest of four children. The youngest of us came after a gap and never got smacked. I sometimes think it might have done her a world of good, if she had been now and then. She was brought up much more permissively than we three elder kids were. She was shown much more physical affection too. Plus, she had a lot of attention from us older siblings. I can't see where all of that led to her being any better adjusted. Not at all.

Interesting that you feel you deserved to be beaten - why do you feel this?

I was never in my life "beaten" by anyone.

When I was four years old, I saw my father resting on the sofa after work, while my mother made supper. I thought it would be a funny joke to sneak up on him and hit him. So I did. I whacked him in the face. He reached out, grabbed my little arm and pulled me over to him. Then he returned a nice little slap on my little face. Without any anger whatsoever, he said, "How do you like it?" Well, I was quite stunned. I felt like a perfect little fool. I remembered thinking, "I don't suppose I'll do that again."

It still makes me smile to remember the incident. I had been somewhat spoiled and didn't think my father would ever in a million years hit me. (He never had before.) I learned two big lessons that day. 1) Don't do to others what you don't want done to you. 2) Don't make assumptions about what other people will, or won't, put up with. They might surprise you.

A few years later, I was sitting at the table, teasing my brother, while my mother was putting food on our plates. I had a knack for upsetting my younger brother and he was getting flustered. Our father wasn't there. I thought I was real clever being obnoxious and needling my brother. Suddenly I got a sharp little smack on the face from our mom. She said, "That's enough out of you." Well, again, I felt like a perfect little fool. I was stunned. I never imagined that she would do that. I came to the conclusion that my mom did not feel under any obligation to put up with much crap from me. I never acted like that at the table again.

I suppose that in both those instances, my parents could have reasoned with me. Somehow I think that what they did communicated much more, much quicker that a bunch of talking would have done. In both those situations, I was being a little smart alec. The best antidote to that kind of attitude is a swiftly administered dose of just the right amount of humiliation. That's what I got. Seemed totally fair to me at the time.

The fact that these smacks totally surprised me was actually a good thing. I decided not to ever take my parents good will for too much for granted. Parents shouldn't have to verbally advise their children of a million different behaviors that might be infractions of the household code of conduct. Children should feel motivated to try and anticipate what those undesirable behaviors might be. I sure did with each of my parents after those two instances. It's amazing how much a kid can figure out independently, with a bit of incentivization. I think it helped develop my mind.

IMO spanking is outdated. It was a shortcut to when you had 12 children and you needed to change their behavior without them actually understanding why to do or not do something, but just obeying.

Most parents these days have the time to reason with their kids. You can actually do this on a very young kid's level and with understanding, the child knows why not to do certain things. Which of course fosters intelligence and also teaches the child that physical things are not the way you get your way.

In my country it is also illegal to hit children, I dislike the word spank because it implies that it does not "really" hurt and the child is in control of the "spanking", that it is somehow different from hitting. I don't think it is, both is the adult getting their way because they are bigger and stronger.

Kids here don't grow up worse than in any country where you "spank". People think parents here are taken away the right to teach their children but I don't see it that way. Also, of course even here you are allowed to hold you child or prevent it from getting harmed, even if you have to grab them or similar. People assume parents here just stand there passively and no, that is not the idea.

I don't think the respect for adults should come out of fear, rather should the child be able to feel it can come to the adult with anything if needed. Not using physical violence does not mean you become your child's "friend". You are still the parent. Your child has choices in some matters but you set the frames. Children often understand at a young age why rules exist, especially if the adults also live under a set of "rules" and routine.

I grew up in a weird era where children were seen as a creative power to count on and individuals who could easily be taught empathy and respect of others. It might have been a tad naive but I have to say it didn't hurt me and most gen X'ers turned out fine.

Thanks for the interesting discussion! In my opinion, children, animals, and adults should not be hit in any way. I now view this as a form of bullying. I grew up thinking that spanking, slapping, whacking with a paddle, and raging were normal behavior. (There was more, but it doesn't fit here) I thought I deserved it. Weirdly, I did not understand why my siblings seemed to also deserve it, and I tried unsuccessfully to protect them. As a young adult, I chose my love interests for the familiar quality of raging while I cried. That was my learned definition of normal family relationships. Of course those relationships failed. It was only when I began to see therapists that I redefined what it meant to be healthy in love and friendship. I believe now that I and my siblings were abused. A hand raised in training uses fear to teach. The line between healthy spanking and abuse is far too thin. That's just my view.