[Yismymindblank12]

I'm asking why do they have to. Why do there needs to be drama why is there a need for dependence on added fights to stir up fun and excitement. I don't see the stupid fights as in the serious and not fun ones. The other silly arguments even when they get vicious at times, but aren't foul are not what I am talking about.

So why do we teach people to be jealous and survive with someone else when we live in a time where most developed places people can survive on their own. I am saying this, from my perspective not as in it's how it should be, but just asking. I don't have much money or good income at the moment, but I don't find it a reason to date or marry anyone ever. I don't want them to be better off. I'd rather be with someone without all of those things, without any possessions and things people worry about all the time.

Why don't people want someone who understands them despite their flaws and why do people like giving up so easily?

I'm asking, because I find it a bit weird, why I even should bother having these feelings. Not that it makes me sad, I'm not in a relationship. I'm content without one or with one. I find it sad for me, that people put emphasis in areas I don't want to be near when it comes to relationships.

I want to just leave behind what I see in front of me and venture in a big adventure with a close friend. Someone who is like a twin who is bounded by me by friendship not a wedding band. Someone who feels the same cold brisk wind hitting my face on a prairie in the middle of the Euprhates mts and the bite of hot sand in the deserts of the gobi and the saharah. A friend who is venturous as I am and doesn't need what everyone else desires.

I'm saying this as an interpretation into my own desires and soul, but the thing I should account is that it maybe only what I want for that, but it be better if it's someone who could bring in a new light with the same adventurous spirit someone enlightened intelligent and wanting to see more, but in their own wants and needs to make them a whole to tag alongside.

Why isn't that a thing? Maybe I don't want to be with someone, because I like them for what many people have feelings for someone else...

I guess I'm entitled to love, but I don't want love itself. I want trust, respect, and a friendship. Something real, not in the future of planning and going day by day through laboring at our jobs. I want it to me much more much grander and exciting in the simplest ways outside of the norm.

Maybe I'll meet this person when I visit other countries, or in my own city, but really I feel it's hard to come by as how our world is today, but that's my two cents.

[sideblinded]

I'm still awed by your mind. I hope someone comes along who can relate to how you feel about relationships. I don't need to have someone in my life in the worldly sense by a wedding band either but it would be ideal. I don't believe in ideality anymore so I can appreciate your views very much.

You seem to know exactly what you want. This is far reaching from others in many respects. Somehow you have come to know yourself and your wants on a very intimate basis. I don't know how you accomplished this but keep on reaching and hoping.

Best wishes!

Hello Yismymindblank12: If I understand your post correctly, it sounds to me as though you simply have a different perspective with regard to what life should be about & what is important. This is wonderful. But it can also be a burden.

Most people want pretty much the same things: a home, family, security. A few people want something else. They want adventure. They want to meet new people, see new places... conquer new worlds, so to speak. It's a good thing we have these individuals too. Without them we would probably all still be living in caves!

I heard recently, on a local news program, that there are already over a hundred or perhaps several hundred, people who have signed up for one-way trips to Mars. These are the kinds of people I'm writing about here.

The problem with all of this is simply that the pull to just be one of the crowd is strong. It can be allot easier, especially in the beginning, to just go along with what the majority wants & not strike out on your own. And if one does strike out on one's own, one can expect to lose both some people & some things along the way. But this is the price the adventurers pay for being the ones to break new ground.

[Yismymindblank12]

I keep very quiet my own mind is an adventure alone on it's own. I think very much like an omniscent presence one that is ahead and behind in the now and has everything in tune. I'd rather not go to mars, I don't really care to colonize that place nor the moon, but I'd love to walk on it.

I though of my own version of this, which I found easily enjoy able, get sucked into my own mind. Kinda like tibetan monks on meditation or hindu spiritualists who live in isolation. I find them fascinating people, and that hence why the reason I think scientist's don't acknowledge their efforts hence while equally confused on their success of not eating and meditating for many years.

Someday I'll find the strength to try this on my own. I had my own guesses on some of the techniques used, on this. It would require not just meditation of over my anxieties, but a mastery of turning off my body parts at ease and full control of my self in the surroundings I'm in. I could get nutrients from dirt and the air that hits me and the moisture from the trees and rain/snow from just sitting there.

I figure it's a serious strength of mind over matter, it's why I see those monks fascinating people. They aren't just physically adept humans, but mentally too, but some are far beyond the scale of them and become what people try to achieve there even dahli lamas can't get to it in their life times of nirvana.

What my calling of that enlightenment truly is, is that your body is no longer tied down by the physical substance it's required whether it's breathing, eating, sleeping, and drinking water. It requires some serious concentration and years to reach once reached the true enlightenment begins of the mind adapting to the new perception of what the world truly is without the limitations of the body to hold it back.

Basically think of it as your body not actually there to begin with and you are existing as you without needed to keep you going. It may also grant the ability to look beyond into yourself over everyone else like when scientists say we only use 10% some people use more, but the rest is used for other parts and subconsciously and the other for storage.

Knowing about human anatomy. I'd love to be around someone who wants to know the same things I do.

I had these dreams and out of body experiences understanding things when I say it back to people I know they think I'm on drugs or I'm psychotic, when I didn't choose to think this way. I'm pretty happy I'm living like I am, because I'd be bored out of my mind just to make up new ideas from doing drugs just to get where I'm at constantly.

I only tried hallucinatory drugs once, just to know. It enlightened me on how a brain works and the responses of the waves of pulsing activity in the parts that were being affected. I've had my vision skewed to see many colors and distortions and my voice changed pitches so my findings were marvelous, because it shown how fragile and natural the brain works even under the circumstances of lack of reality. People think they are in a different world or altered state.

On the outside yes, but really no. Their brain is working it's way how it should, the drugs are doing what it should do, but the consequences people get from psychosis, it's an anxiety of constant response of like, for example when you get lost from your destination in your car and you aren't in the area you should be on your map or gps you freak out and need to find the nearest way back on track.. That's exactly how psychosis works and schizophrenia, how it feels, but for people who have schizophrenia by text book definition never know what it means to be schizophrenic even when told how it works, because they are so lost on the road they can't find their way back on their own even with medication to reduce the inhibitors to fire of signals that enable those positive and negative symptoms.

I'm a really unknown case of psychosis, I am completely aware of myself and everything, but I suffer like everyone else who has it. I was almost given schizophrenia at age of 8. Why this is relevant, because this ties into my need for companionship just someone who feels like forever whether present or not because they existed in my life it made me feel I'm not so alone. I don't care who they are as long as they show up when they do on time, as on time I mean in my lifetime.

[Yismymindblank12]

Yeah it wasn't really my upbringing or much that brought upon this, but rather myself and just me finding my own way alone. I guess from being so used to it, I just wanted answers and didn't ever settled for the easy answers. Whether it was for religion, anatomy, astronomy, and anything that had the abstracts destroy the facts from the basic equations. I just find all that measurement a waste of time, because you aren't getting closer if you aren't applying it to the right areas. It's good that they are currently building from the the complex to the more complex, but that shouldn't be the only road. They need to reevaluate how things are handled, look at it as if the measurement of whatever they are trying to prove shouldn't require complexity or simple ?'s. I should have relevancy, but a lot of time being put into trying to like apply math and science to ways it couldn't had been thought of before till now, because we now can do it. I find that the math itself is too subjective hence why there are so many theories and not so many just basic facts of basic building block functioning. If we were to ever get off the ground we should not build a ship out of artificial means, but build natural stuff how mother nature does on that scale through measurement of all things.

I want to prove death, life after death, without religion or what we used to use for science. I want to prove perception and how we are limited by our perceptions even more than we realize. For example, perception is like a muscle when you work out. Even with a good attitude and happy life, your perception can hold you back, doesn't matter how good and bad you have it, if you work it out more through life experience and mental training you can see much easier how to build it like a muscle to tip top shape so not matter what mood you are still grounded.

[Yismymindblank12]

Oh btw I don't like using diagnosis of mental health or just anything really, because it's almost like a profanity. It muddy's the idea I'm trying to show you and makes it murky. It's just used as a point of reference for me to make it easier to sound relevant.