[Psyclox]

I saw Brenda on Sunday and God she looked beautiful and even after she tore our friendship apart and my hart and even though I tried to forget her and get on with my life I still love her more than ever before. Why is love so difficult? I mean why can't we just fall out of love as easily as well fall in love?

(((((((((((psyclox))))))))))))))

sorry you feelthis way. i 've been there.

sending you a heartfelt hugbaby xoxoxoxoxo

[sabby]

(((((Psyclox)))))

I'm sorry you are feeling so down. I wish I could say or do something to help you feel better.



Hugssssssss
J

[Wants2Fly]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Psyclox said:
Ieven after she tore our friendship apart and my hart and even though I tried to forget her and get on with my life I still love her more than ever before.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Is it love or codependency or hormones?

Please don't read that question as a snide effort to belittle your very strong feelings. I have suffered, too. Along the way, I had to learn that feelings I associated with being in love with nonreciprocal men who were not good for me. Sometimes our emotional wires get crossed for a host of reasons, often dating back to our dysfunctional childhoods, and some of us develop strange ideas about what constitutes and an exciting relationship and mistake love for other strong feelings.

Perhaps your tangled history is something to reflect upon.

I am so sorry that you are hurting so much.

[Psyclox]

Its love and that I am sure my heart cries out for her every day and all I want is to just be with her grow old with her and have kids and spend our golden years together but in this life we are not meant to be so I am to spend the rest of my life with out her but at least I know this, it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

[Juliana]

I've been there Psyclox (more than once). I know how painful it is. (((Hugs))) to you.

The man who I used to think was the love of my life is now my best friend. After a very long, emotionally exhausting relationship, we broke up 8 years ago. We spent some time apart, but then we began to work on rediscovering the friendship part of our relationship -- because we both missed each other. For the past 7 years we have been close, supportive friends to each other. Even though we couldn't make it work as a couple, we still love each other and we're still in one another's lives -- and that feels so much better than when we were hurting each other in an intense relationship. I believe that once you love someone, you love them forever, but the nature of that love can change -- if the other person is willing and worth the effort.

I hope you can move on and fall in love again... and I hope that you and Brenda (if you're not meant to be together as a couple) can go on to be great friends.

[desperado]

(((((((((((((psyclox))))))))))))

I have been there several times, too.....not fun. Can you distract yourself w/ sports, other friends, clubs, reading, movies, hobbies, etc. -- anything -- to try to get your mind off of her?

It's really difficult, I know.......but time does help heal.......hang in there, psyclox. I am thinking of you.

P.S.: Wow, Juliana -- I am really impressed that you developed a great friendship w/ your former lover.......that is very, very hard to do, imo.

[Psyclox]

That the thing I havn't seen her in like 6 months and then all of a sudden she is at my house going with my brother and another friend to go and buy drugs and that for me is the worst thing, to see the women I love go and buy drugs even after my friend Gareth committed suicide she told us all not to do drugs cause thats what killed him and then she goes and does drugs plus Gareth was her ex-byfriend.

[Wants2Fly]

Please take care of yourself and be sane. It sounds like you want to be her rescuer. In the end, the only person I can change is myself. Take care.

[greenpunkergirl]

well, ho easily do you fall in love? I know that I fall in love rarely........ because it is such a special emotion it doesn't happen easily, just naturally. This is probably unwanted, harsh reality kind of advice, but when my hubby ran off with my friend so many months ago, this is what I was told...... "you didn't fall in love in a day, you aren't going to fall out of love in a day. Lose contact with 'em, and get over it on your own time." It's hard to hear, but it's true. I am dating again, and I am going on with my life. It takes time to fall in love....... 6 months for me and him, and it took me about that much time to get over it when he left me. Love is a devestating emotion, but if you open yourself up for the joys, you have to accept the possibility of pain.

[MadKitty]

what if u havent seen a person in 4yrs - both are married - but the chemistry/feelings are as strong as ever - what then - how do you move on - i know you should treasure those memories - how can u just forget those feelings.