Am I less worth than my sister?

Hi you guys! I'm completely new here, but I guess this must be the right section to put this in.
Ok so, I was looking for a place where I could let out all those thoughts I've been harrased by for a long time.

It's about a familly issue. I'm 21 and I have a 15 year old sister. I also have an older brother (24y). When I was in my sister's age I would be in the city a lot with my friends on weekdays afare like "oh smk school. Usually I didn't mind taking the bus home. But on late evenings it wasn't the most pleasent feeling to be alone at the bus stop for up to 45 minutes or so.
If the bus would take very long, I sometimes called my parents to see if they could pick me up. They didn't cause "they wouldn't be in town before the bus anyway" (not true, it only takes 15 with car).

That's how it went every time. They even seemed annoyed when I called to ask for a ride. Moving on to my sister - she's never taken the bus home from town. Not even once. I wanted a ride cause it was dark and lonely by the time. She's getting picked up before it's dark - because she don't want to sit next to someone on the bus. Maybe I'm being childish but this really hurts. I was afraid of being alone in town on a late evening. She's afraid of sitting next to a stranger on a crowded bus.

Then there's another thing that has been eating me up from the inside for years. I was bullied a lot in school. Eventually I often went home before school ended because I hated how it made me feel. One day I got home and my mom would barely talk to me. Apparently she was just "so disappointed" in me. My sister have been home from school for pretty much 90% of school time these past 3-4 months. My mom happily lets her stay home, and even try to convince me that my sister is so so sick all the time. I'm still young myself so you can't convince me when I know my sister's very much into lying.

I'm sorry this turned out so long. I'd really anyone who reads it though. I feel like a spoiled kid for complaining about this, but I just can't get it out of my head. These things makes me wonder if I've done something so wrong in life. I feel like I'm just a big failure.

Hi. I think situations like these where parents treat their children differently doesn't mean that they love you any less. I know that this feels unfair to you but many times, some parents may treat you differently than your siblings depending on the circumstances. They may have trusted you more when you were that age, perhaps they thought you were more mature. Or they may regret letting you take the bus when you didn't want to and the fact that you were bullied and they're trying to prevent that same mistake by not letting it happen to your sister. I can't speak for your parents, but you need to analyze the circumstances before concluding that you're worth less than your sister; no one is worth less than anyone, we're all equal no matter how anyone treats you. This isn't your fault and you are not a failure, I'm sure your parents love you as much as they love your brother and sister.

Yes that ^^^^^ is what I wanted to say, but I'll try not to repeat it all.


Sometimes parents screw up with the eldest and try to avoid those mistakes later, and sometimes children are treated differently based on their strengths, weaknesses and personalities.


Buuuut, other times, parents are just a.s.s.holes.


You're a better judge of which category yours fall into. Better yet, talk to them, I know what I've written because my sisters said it to their eldest daughters

agree with both above replies.

By the time the parents in many cases get to the youngest one, they have changed a lot of their ways. sometimes trying not to make the same mistakes as mentioned, other times because they are worn out from parenting (for lack of a better way to put it) and have grown lax and a lot more easy going about the same issues that may have been different for the older child. Either way it sucks for you, I know...

I don't think you should see it as worthiness though, necessarily.

You are not less worth, as another said no one is worth less than anyone.

I think that your parents should take your feelings seriously.

I think I know how you must feel and I am sorry for that. I experienced similar thing, I couldnt be picked up, so got told to take the bus and I would get some coins to the bus, all because they didnt know my adresse ( which was an excuse ). I was the only one not being there at christmas eve because they didnt bother to pick me up.

Maybe the other posters here are right, but I think if you talk with your parents about how you feel, they should show more consideration for how you feel.

Thanks for your input guys. I'm just feeling more hurt than usual by this. I'm changing my depression pills right now, so maybe that's one reason, I don't know. Some times I tell myself just to drop it, but soon those thoughts arethere again. But pperhaps that's just life. I mean, I have a succesful older brother and a "sweet" little sister who's kissing my parents feet with those "I love you" all the time. Me? I'm in the middle. Not succesful and certanly not very sweet. I've dropped out of three schools because of mental health. So maybe I can't blame my parents, cause there's no reason whatsoever to be proud of me.

Thoughts and emotions come and go. Another approach to consider then is simply observing them without actively trying to get rid of them.

I'm so sorry that you feel this way about yourself. I do wonder though: what would your parrots say about you?

Thank you for that thought. It actually made me smile.