BF calls me twice a day. Too much. Ugh

We are doing good job communicating and contacting each other through the day when we don't see each other. I like that and it's important to both of us

But my BF got into a habit of calling me twice a day lately besides texting etc

I don't mind texting but I hate talking on the phone. I almost never do with no one. I Skype with my daughter but other than that I only text briefly.

He calls me before work and at lunch or break. I don't want to be rude or pushing him away by giving him hints that it's excessive! If I don't answer the phone he leaves the message, undemanding, and that's the end of end of it but I feel guilty not calling back.

Now I love the guy and he is awesome and things are going really well. This isn't any kind of deal breaker. And He just pretty much calls to hear my voice, it's not lengthy but I overall just dislike phone conversations! I don't hear well on the phone and I get distracted. And ok once a day but twice?

He overall is insecure person ( he still at times worries I'll dump him) he is also shy and slightly awkward so I don't want to hint that his phone calls are excessive because that would make him feel insecure. I don't want to hurt him

So pretty much I guess I am just venting. My schedule is going to get even more complicated soon so I won't be as available so hopefully excessive calls will have to stop naturally

Now we don't see each other that often due to complicated work schedules and a bit of driving distance.



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You need to just tell him that phone calls make you uncomfortable. I think giving him hints would make him feel more insecure than if you just opened up and were honest with him.

Thanks
I might have to. I just know it's going to get less with schedule change soon. It's not like I am uncomfortable I just dislike it!

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Just be honest and open with him about it. Pretty much everyone who knows me knows I HATE being on the phone - but that I will text throughout the day.

Like - I dislike it so much that if I actually call a friend, they answer and are like "what's wrong?!" because they know I only ever call if there's a reason I need their attention ASAP. Same with if they call me - I will answer immediately because I know there must be a reason! (Once... it was a call from a friend and the convo went like this: Me: "What's wrong?!" Friend: "why haven't you replied to your texts?!?!"... me: "Your call woke me up... why, what's wrong?" friend: "It's 11am! You never sleep this late! I was worried!" me: "WOW I've been in bed 13 hours!!!")

That said.... if you just don't like being on the phone, but you know it means a lot to him? Why don't you try to surprise him with a quick phone call to say goodnight sometimes? Later at night means it's likely quiet enough that hearing isn't too difficult. Plus I'm sure it would just thrill him to hear your voice when it's initiated by you. Just let him know that maybe during work-hours isn't so cool because it's noisier? (if that's the case).

Sounds like this guy is more into you than you are into him. You say you're in love, but maybe you're feelings for him don't quite rise to that level. It just seems to me that, when two people are in love, talking twice a day is pretty standard.

Rather than tell him to call less often, maybe you could just find a way to make the phone chats real short and sweet. Like, act glad that he's checking in, but have something you've got to get back to.

You say he's insecure. Maybe you are overly secure and don't find any challenge in holding his attention. You might be taking this guy for granted because you are so sure he is very emotionally needy of you.

Oh I am very into him. Trust me. I do not take him for granted at all. That's not my concern.

I am very secure in my life but not in relationship whatsoever. That's why I am careful not to make him feel insecure. Because I know how that feels

I am not concerned with contacts as I myself text him all the time. We both laugh at our amount of texts. It's all day long pretty much. It's way more than twice a day!

Maybe I wasn't clear enough. I don't want to minimize contact at all. I just hate talking on the phone! I've been like this my whole life! I just don't know how to bring it up without hurting him

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I am same way, I text all the time but hate phone. I do call him sometimes to make him happy. Most of the time it's him because he calls from work during break and it's different time every day. We both have crazy schedules

My ( and his by the way) hearing is not good overall. It's not the noise. I hear well in person but not on the phone

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I think you might just have to stick it out.

He sounds like a person that thrives on schedules, perhaps?

Could the upcoming schedule change be part of the stress of it all?

You are very much on to something. Yes he is stressed over schedule changes. We are both very much schedule oriented and in fact me more than him as he is more laid back. I work two jobs but only one in the summer. It's gonna get crazy soon. Yes he worries that we'll see each other even less.

This morning I worked and now have doctors appointment so there was no way for us to talk. We texted. Works for me!
Thank you!

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Thank you. Looks like it. It's gonna change soon anyways as my schedule changes. I might even miss phone calls?lol lol

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