How do coworkers usually react when ur comments are always off?

Every other comments they make is off, sometimes profoundly. Usually it's during small talk. Would coworkers usually shun that person? Complain to management about not wanting to work with that person?
1. Getting off topic without realizing
2. Making irrelevant comments in conversations or adding irrelevant details when answering questions
3. Making false statement demonstrating lack of common knowledge or common sense
4. Making true statement that are already obvious to everyone
5. Always misunderstanding what others are saying
6. Being unable to make yourself clear
7. Finally, telling ppl everything in a small talk like a little kid (e.g. Mom got mad at dad)
I'm talking about adults who converse that way. Children up to 10 or 11 who do so are actually within the normal range. Thoughts?
The said person is also loud half the time but never rude unless unintentional.

Does this person have some type of limitations or disorders etc etc what you described sounds like a person with ASD. I even unintentionally visualized particular people I know. Why are you asking?

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I'm asking if it's common for coworkers to react unfavorably to that person. These coworkers don't know of any conditions the person may have. Btw, if u don't mind, can you describe those particular ppl? What reactions do they get?

I remember when I was doing product demonstration and my coworker was stationed near me on the sales floor. We were by the coffee aisle.
Her: is anyone making coffee? I smell it.
Me: I don't see anyone making coffee. It's probably the beans. They're everywhere.
Her: could be...
Me: coffee beans give off that smell too.
Her: well it's not a constant smell, just on and off
Me: if it's not constant smell, then they're not making coffee.

She never talked to me again. How was I supposed to know I argued with her at that moment? A handful of ppl told me I was rude in that dialogue. Now multiply that few times a day, every day. I just don't appreciate anyone reacting badly.

Pretty silly. You stated the obvious and they never spoke to you again? Pretty friggun stupid if you ask me. Should we just all agree? Of course not, if people don't like what you say too bad.

It does sound a bit argumentative. Not really mean but just not pleasant. Not a big deal but do you always interact in this manner?

I have no time right now to describe interactions as I am at work on 5 min break, but overall people avoid such folks unless they know it's certain conditions that cause them to behave such way. Then they might be more patient with the person but again they would probably stir away. I don't have colleagues like that as we wouldn't survive on the job if we talk to people this way as it is antagonizing. But I understand that social interaction that we take for granted just isn't easy for many people. That's what i do for a living

If you do have a condition that makes your social interactions difficult, do you work on it in therapy or otherwise? Are you receiving any help through therapy or medical etc? Is there anyone who can model some interactions for you

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Hi ruby! Long time no see! Boy you could be describing me here. I didnt realize it, but i inherited always saying no and reacting negatively from my mother. Plus my dad taught me it was good manners to always say no - would you like a drink? No thanks!

Its a hard habit to break. Very very hard. I took a comedy improv class, and they trained us to say "yes and..." in improvisation exercises. Like, "yes and doesnt that coffee smell yummy? Do you think we can have some?" That way you give your comedy or talking partner a way to continue the skit or conversation. Just remember to say "yes and...". I know i still say no to my therapist WHENEVER he says anything. Its awful.

I actually see this as nothing more than a socially awkward person; one eager to fit in, one likely with a great deal of anxiety, one probably with a very poor sense of self esteem.

Unfortunately these people tend to get shunned and laughed at behind their back. I think it takes but one person to do the opposite and others will follow and do the same.

It was the way I said it and the context. This would be taken as arguing.

Yes I regularly interact in this manner. Ppl have complained from time to time. The only reason I was at that job over 3 years was bc my supervisor liked me and was patient.

I don't know how people "usually" react, but at my place of work its definitely not tell the manager and never speak to that person again.


We're a close knit group and we like joking and taking jabs at each other. All in the name of fun, no malicious intent.


We all have our quirks and so those become running office jokes.

So the two coworkers that are seemingly off side, they just get poked fun at like the rest of us for whatever reason.


And then its forgotten, until someone else says or does something silly or weird, no big deal.

I think it depends on the work environment and also how much general life experience most of the coworkers have.

Like I once worked in an office environment where things were often pretty boring, so a lot of people were into gossip and drama, forming cliques and conspiring with each other, etc. Also most of them were the sort of people who had lived relatively "normal" carefree lives (with some secret special exceptions, I am sure, since you never know). But anyway so they had a higher tendency to actually give a damn about insignificant things.

However my current work environment is totally different. For one it is busy and stressful as all hell, so frankly anyone who is willing to work hard and help others out is highly valued. We all rely on each other heavily and have to hold together our camaraderie just to make it through a shift. Aint nobody got time to worry about how Cindy talks funny or Jerry's pants are too small. In addition most of us have come from tough walks of life. A single mother of two desperately trying to make ends meet. A young lesbian who has been ostracized by her family and trying to put herself through college with no family support. A woman who has lost multiple immediate relatives to cancer in recent years. Me with my plethora of mental illnesses and history of child abuse. Etc. We are all a little bit wiser than average having been through lots of **** and know that little personality quirks don't matter, we are all good, hard-working people in it together.

So I think more often than not, different places are gonna be different. And if you're in an environment full of people who are bored and privileged enough to freak out over someone being a little socially awkward, well that's the environment, just carry on.

I guess every place is different. Then again, it depends on the ppl around you. During the first year and a half I was there, no one complained or snubbed me. Still, all this woulda been avoided if I knew how to talk to ppl.

That's why I asked are you working on your people skills in therapy or elsewhere? It's not easy to suggest anything not knowing you in real life.
I don't suggest blaming those insensitive colleagues but rather improve your skills as much as you can

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It could be that I'm a bit sensitive and/or clueless on the issue, because I tend to be rather socially awkward myself. But the exchange about the coffee beans doesn't seem that bad to me. I mean, honestly my impression is that most of the verbal exchanges between people are empty and meaningless. Most common example being the typical, "How are you?" (and variants of), when the answer is completely irrelevant and always just a standard "good" or "fine" no matter what the truth is. Then it's like when someone has actual communication skills and interest, and communicates in a genuine, straightforward way, people wrinkle their noses.

The coworker asked a question about whether or not coffee was being made. I guess most people would have mumbled some noise like, "Mm.." without really listening or caring about what the coworker had said. But the OP actually engaged and talked about it, and formed a conclusion in response to the question. I mean heaven forbid? Now OP seems to think they don't know how to talk to people. My impression is that OP's coworker doesn't know how to talk to people, doesn't know how to handle an actual engaged conversation when they start one, if they actually had an offended reaction to the OP.

But again I also admit upfront that it could be my own "socially awkward" perceptions tinting my view on it.

I'm with Copper here and im not socially awkward, never have been.

The OP's coworker seems more like the one who blundered during that convo.


IMO the OP didn't come across as argumentative or anything negative, all the OP did was explain how there is no coffee being made and the logic behind that conclusion.


The coworker was offside on that particular field. If she didn't want an ongoing exchange she could've ended the convo with "oh" after the "beans are everywhere" bit, but she chose to further engage, which points to her being argumentative, if we're going to use that word at all...

I don't think the issue is this particular exchange that might be ok not a big deal but the fact that OP often gets into similar situations with people not liking conversing with him. No way it is always everyone else's fault. Telling op that it's all good and dandy isn't accomplishing anything in how he fits in a society. He clearly is not happy how things go

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Yes I'm doing that in therapy. Last year, I learned not to ask detail about other ppl's lives. As for being generally off, idk when that would improve.

At my current job, a coworker who transferred from another store started recently. I assumed it was his first day with the company. While he was working, I went, "wow u already know how to bag orders!"

He shot back, "I worked with the company 9 months!" And he snubbed me ever since.

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This is why I'm confused. These comments irritated others because they were quite off, but it had nothing to do with the tasks itself. They happened during small talks.
Might I add that given the high turnover rate, we could have anywhere between 15 and 25 ppl in the dept at any given time. The number of ppl who complained never exceeded 3. Also, during the first half of my 3 years there, nobody complained or snubbed me ever.

I resent that it has to happen that way just bc these 3 ppl didn't like my comments. I didn't even know my comments were inappropriate at that moment so why hold it against me? I understand it's bothersome to listen to, but these 3 ppl coulda just snubbed me, which they DIDN'T do. They were actually nice to me to my face and talked to me. Why complain if they were the ones who initiated the conversation half the time they talked to me?

I see. Even if it was his first day he might think that bagging orders isn't a rocket science. Many people work in retail as a part time doing something else elsewhere or have worked in retail before. When you meet someone the very first time try not to make comments but more like general oh hi nice to meet you!

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I don't see these comments as being off. I think someone is looking for something that isn't there

But I do not understand how and why so many people in OP's life think his comments are off if they are really not. Like everyone around him is wrong?

I just don't get it. Everyone on this thread keep saying there is nothing wrong in his interactions and he is doing great yet he has trouble with other people. I think it's huge disservice telling the person he is doing nothing wrong if he clearly struggles with social skills and is asking for help .

How is that helpful for op?

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Well its helpful in that we are sharing our perspective based on what the OP has shared...


I know I certainly wasn't lying when I said the OPs comments did not seem off side, and I doubt anyone else said that just to agree with OP to make them feel better.


The OP mentioned 3 individuals that has a problem and or complained about them, that's hardly "everyone around him" as quoted from above.


Maybe those 3 are just buttholes.

He said every other comment he makes is off. That's a lot. It's not occasional miscommunication. He also stated Specific 7 things that he is doing that are off ( bullet points in his original post). If he said in his life he's met only 3 individuals who had concerns, then sure they might be jerks, but he said those 3 complained, others appear to just avoid him. Also the title of this thread is asking what tondo when his comments are "always" off. That clearly bothers him.

If I say I want to lose weight and want nutritional advice I don't find if helpful to tell me that I look just great. Op seems to be asking how to improve his skills.

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Fat is obvious, weight loss is straight forward. What the OP is doing "wrong" is however not obvious to everyone, or we all would have agreed.


So forgive me for not being able to remedy it.


Maybe its up to you to help as you're the only one who has a clear understanding of what the OP is doing wrong, and what kind of help they need.


In case I'm unclear, as this is text and no body language, my post is sincere.

Not snarky, sarcastic or any other negative tones implied.

Op says he is improving through therapy and learned something last year. . I made couple of suggestions how to improve but it's hard to provide specific help as I am not observing him in real life. Our help on here is very limited.

No I am not the only one who sees these interaction as potentially bothersome. Op himself does and he is very specific about which behaviors are concerning. Him being concerned is enough for me.

I hope he continues improving through therapy.

OP if you are still reading, have you tried CBT? It was very beneficial for my BF who often converses in awkward manner due to OCD and Tourette's

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