Flirting Hubby says I should have 'claimed' him

I'm confused about situations I get myself into. I have a 56 year old handsome hubby that loves to flirt. It does bother me and I get anxious when we go to gatherings, parties, bars, etc because he always heads for groups of women and starts conversations with them. I usually begin chatting with other women and before I know it, flirting hubby forgets about me and pretty much ignores me. Well tonight a friend of mine intervened and said 'aren't you with _____?' because her friend was drunk and all over my hubby. She was also with her boy friend and he said something too. Hubby simply lives for these events, or so it seems. I have mentioned it and told him that people tell me 'oh, your hubby is VERY friendly'. The terrible thing is that this is how we got together. I thought I was special to him. He made me feel good with his attention and kindness. I fell in love with him and so many people warned me. In the beginning, for about a year, we didn't attend many outings or social events together. So I had no idea how he behaved. But I do always talk to him about his over friendliness. We had a terrible argument about his behavior and that I did not want to be with him any more since all he can do is flirt and ignore me when we go out. I would like any advice on his comment: " you should have come over and claimed me". What? I said 'well, that will never happen, that's high school behavior'.
Am I wrong? Please advise me, I'm on the way out.

I dated a guy who said I am being insecure when he flirted with other women. What an idior

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Well, you married a guy who cheated on his first wife to be with his second wife, and cheated on his second wife to be with you. I think we now know how these relationships started, right?

Your husband doesn't know boundaries. If you want to keep him, you've got to start setting boundaries. Its going to be tough because he's probably lived his whole life like this.

It sounds like he likes to be the center of attention. And if your attention isn't enough for him then that's a problem. He will eventually begin to wander in the marriage. What if you walked up to his little group and put your arm around him? Would he even include you in the convo or just treat you like a piece of decor? The kind of guy that likes to hear himself talk too I bet. I know the types and they are usually the ones looking for the next best thing. Now I apologize if I have him all wrong seeing I don't know the guy. I'm only speaking from experience. I've dated a guy like this. I eventually started waking up in the middle of the night with him and my car gone. Pass codes on his cell ect. Just be very careful and be observant.

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Honestly after realizing that this is a man who cheated on both of his wives and left them for the other women I think he might be the type of guy who just can't keep it in his pants. If he doesn't cheat now then he probably will at some point. When I first responded I thought this is a guy with bad boundaries now I think he has bad morals which is way worse

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He actually cheated on his first wife because she refused to have sex for over a year. They sought counseling but she would only listen to their Church counselor that couldn't help them. Actually that counselor gave terrible advice.
The hubby did finally have an affair which did end his marriage to his first wife. He later found a new girlfriend, after the divorce. That's when I met his 2nd wife that told me she regretted being with him and wanted to leave him anyway. I never told him about this conversation, even during our affair. But your right, I think bad morals come into play here, along with bad boundaries. He seems pretty open to advice and we try to figure out these things together. I'm always suspicious of my lack of confidence and lack of experience in relationships too. I will search for more information on boundaries, great advice. Thanks so much.

I don't know how long you have been married to this guy but it seems obvious the chase is exciting to him and that is unlikely to stop, because it seems engrained in his character and because he continues to get payback in the attention of other women and in your negative reaction. Some women can shrug it off as long as he is coming home with them. Me? I wouldn't put up with it; but you can try giving him a few minutes to pretend he is still the young stud and then come over, smile, pat him fondly and say: "Come on lover boy, you've had your playtime, let's dance/get a drink/get something to eat/go speak to our hosts" whatever seems appropriate.

Since you mention your lack of experience in relationships, I can tell you that it's likely that most men who engage in affairs minimize to their lovers how much sex they are still getting from their wives; affairs are not just about sex, although it might seem that way; and most 'bedroom' problems usually start outside the bedroom. Some examples of intimacy killers: not appreciating one's spouse; humiliating one's spouse; putting upon one's spouse; abusing one's spouse; being personally disgusting (stinking, having disgusting personal habits); addiction; hostility and constant argumentativeness; refusing to take part in any other aspect of married life but sex; and insisting on weird stuff after marriage when the marriage was predicated on not-weird things. And everything I said applies to wives about their hubs, too. Being an inconsiderate louse of a spouse is equal opportunity behavior.

Frankly, it sounds to me like you married a good looking horny teen in an old man's body and now you are seeing that maybe that wasn't such a good idea. You can try counseling and explicitly telling the hubs what you don't intend to put up with. But he's had a lot of years getting away with playing so he's liable to pout now that you want to redraw the contract. Decide what you are willing to put up with and act accordingly, with a counselor's help if need be.

Oh of course it is somebody else's fault. He cheated on her because she refused sex ( most likely a lie but even if it is true he sounds like a bad husband plus it's dangerous to have unprotected sex with man like him!)

Now he blames you that u didn't come up and claim him. Never his fault

I hope you aren't legally married and nothing is on his name and i
wouldn't have unprotected sex with him. For safety reasons

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Great advice. I do appreciate your response and I think you're right. Really sad, I really liked him. Thanks so much