What do you think about dating older man?

Now you all can be happy - he realised its wrong.
We stayed friends but he said he has feelings for me but its wrong. I dont think so and it hurts so much. Because I liked it and I lose it.
So yeah I would like to cut myself. Sure I wont, I have drugs to forget these pains.

Please don't harm yourself over this! You don't really know him and things always work for the best, this is for the best. I hope you find good therapist to help you with improving your self esteem and self respect.

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I was 21 and dating a man 15 y older than I was. Great relationship, really intelligent man and I have learned a lot from him. IMO is nothing wrong with 20 dating 40. Men age gracefully, some of them, and look really attractive, manly and hot at 40s.
Now I am older and I would not date a 50 years old man. Too old, usually less energy for anything.

I was trying to be supportive in helping you get what you really want, not at all happy to see you fail or be upset. I am completely optimistic for you about finding someone new that offers you the relationship you want. You probably feel rejected by him right now, but he did you a favor. His feeling that the sex talk was wrong must have more to it than what he's saying.

I honestly thought he felt bad about sexting because he perhaps is in a relationship with someone. It also explains him not asking a woman on a date but sexting instead. Different cities and jobs don't stop men from asking women on dates when they are so inclined. I'd count your blessings and try to think it is a good thing he bailed out early on.

I don't feel happy that you are hurting but I am glad you didn't get sucked in to this nonsense

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He is single, he lives in small city and my friend knows him and its really small city, so if he had official relationships I knew it.

His job doesnt allow to be with me officially anyway. He doesnt even want me to see him in his city.

I took tramadol, now Im fine. I think I hate him.
I talked to my friend who knows him. Yeah Im evil. I just wanted to say her that he is sick abuser. he wanted only sex. you were right. im sure I wasnt the first and the last.

If man wants only sex with me- its okay. if man wants sex with me and also with another woman then.... no.
Im suprised he was so honest. Im mad at myself that I fell for him. I wouldnt if he didnt try so hard and if I didnt feel so alone.
I wouldnt mind to have sex but if Im not the only one than no.
He lied to me. He killed all my feelings. I was such a fool. After saying its over and so wrong he asked me can i send a pic where Im completely naked. sure I didnt. he also said- you can text me sexual things but I wont text you back anymore. Sick.
Then he said he would be my friend all my life anyway.

Sounds like predatory behavior on his end. It's cliché, know this isn't your fault.
You mentioned speaking of depression...how does he know about mental illness?? In what context have you discussed mi and at what length. How much of your mi history does he know??

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((((hugs)))) to you!

You misunderstood me. I said he felt depressed and people say it very often and dont mean mental illness.
He saw my scars so he knows I cut myself but I said I dont do it anymore. I said Im dying inside without love and feel so alone. Thats all. I didnt see he cares about it, he cared only about sex with me.

What exactly did I misunderstand?

I've scars on my wrist, too.

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The posts have gone from only wanting sex, no relationship to ideation talk, almost overnight..

Ummm??

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Sorry I didnt understand what you mean.
You asked me about talking about mental illness but I didnt talk to him about mental illness only about feelings which included feeling depressed.

When I was younger I dated and even lived with older men. My boyfriend was my mom's age or 27 years older than me. It didn't matter to me then but now I want to date men my age or younger because I am much older now and don't really want to date 80 year old men. Nothing wrong with them, just prefer them younger now.

Sorry i cant understand what you mean by saying this.

I will try to explain. We mostly were texting also about sex.
Then he confused me by saying its wrong but at the same time asked me to send him a pic of me naked which i didnt. He said that we are not together so he can think about other women too. I felt hurt and jealous and gone mad.
He said he doesnt want relationships with me only sex but it would be wrong.
He wanted to stop our conversations.
I felt like a fool who believed he is interested in me more then only sex object because it seems he would like to f*** my friend too.
Its be okay if man wants sex with me, it hurts when man simply wants sex but could f*** my attractive friends too. Okay he didnt say so because he doesnt like to answer to some questions.
I think i dont feel anything anymore, my feelings were sexual but also emotional, i dont think i need him.

That's the thing. When you're wired to self harm as a coping skill, unhealthy, but still not out of the blue in recovery, being around toxic individuals is as triggering as it gets.
Predatory on his part, even if unknowingly on his own levels, because he's seen your pain/wounds and he needed to take care with you without selfish behavior. Telling you a darn thing about other women falls into its own category of unhealthy behavior.

It's up to you to self care. Of course, it's a blow to your esteem because as humans we know innately, albeit most often subconsciously that we deserve healthy companionship.

Be gentle and kind to yourself, 'k.

He might be older, but it doesn't mean that he's reached maturity.

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I am glad you are safe. Stay safe please

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