I did unrequited love again and now I'm screwed

Yes large age gaps can sometimes work out but they have their challenges and certainly aren't for everyone.

If you feel more depressed from reading about these things and it's triggering you then it's something to avoid.

If what happens to other people depresses you then avoid reading about it.

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This strikes me as being depressed because someone else won the lottery.

Maybe you can win the lottery too, but the odds are very low. Very low.

You can get in contact with large numbers of young women by using a dating site and saying that you are seeking a relationship with a 20-something woman.

That is akin to buying hundreds of lottery tickets. Your odds improve some.

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Another option would be to speak with someone about why you are insisting on this one specific, highly unlikely type of romantic relationship--and how you can get past the self-imposed isolation that this insistence entails.

If I was that obsessed with wanting men 35 years younger than me ( which would make then 15, ok that's a minor uugghh I'll change it to 30 years younger which make him 20), then I'd go see someone about it. Not to sound like diagnosing online but this sounds obsessive. If i repeatedly wanted 20 year old guys I'd make therapy appointment for sure. I don't understand how this doesn't bother you and you find it ok. My nephews and my daughter are in their 20s. This is all bothersome to me to even read about that they could be pursued by people in their 60s.

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Of course they are out there. Pretty much everything happens.

It isn't common enough for anyone to be like "hey I am going to meet a significantly younger person, become friends with them while they are in a relationship, and then they will fall in love with me during that".

Did you learn details about those relationships? What did they have to offer each other? I think there is usually more than just love being offered to each other (hence the stereotyped terms of sugar daddy, gold diggers, boy toys and Cougars). And did you find out how they met?

Your chances are significantly reduced if you aren't able to offer more than just love, and if you are expecting to meet one of these rare women in a random way.

It'd be much easier to be more realistic and find ways to meet women your own age. It's.... Kinda insulting to women if you are so shallow that you're only looking for women young enough to be your grandkids. And yes, it will creep almost all of the girls you meet out when they learn of your infatuation with them. If you absolutely can't get past this kind of fetish.... Then you need to find somewhere to meet girls looking for men older than their dad. Meeting them randomly isn't going to happen and you're just setting yourself for unneeded pain.

Thanks, I put that up because I'm still really struggling about this whole episode. I'm so vunerable it's scary. I didn't really go looking for this it just happened over a period of time. I guess I'm just really bad at reading the situation. It may take a while for this to be okay - the last thing I needed at this point was a lengthy healing process. I'm more crippled than usual. Thanks again.

Macd123 I can only repeat what I wrote earlier in this thread.

You didn't consciously go looking for this situation, but there will be reasons behind it, as this is I believe the second similar situation you found yourself in.

From what you wrote it seems you have a lot of regret over your younger years, this could be what draws you to obsess over young women.

Say you did have a relationship with a younger woman, this would not undo your past. You may even feel more aware of your age in contrast to her and her contemporaries. Success with dating this young woman may not have brought you peace and happiness you are seeking.

I don't mean this harshly, I can see you are really hurting over this. Yes it may take a while to be okay, but sometimes time is what it takes, and reflecting over what we can do differently not to go down the same road again.

I did experience that as an older dating adult, recovery was MUCH harder than when I was in my 20's. Young people are generally very resilient, bounce back quicker, whereas, older people are generally more sincere, invest more of themselves, and take longer to recover. The only thing I can tell you is that it WILL get better, you will feel better, just taking your time. And during that time, try to learn from it. That's the only way to avoid repeating the same mistakes over and over.

Problem is that it was not really a breakup as you were never together.

You can't relive your past. You can only go forward

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All the more delusional - yikes.

I feel your pain, Mac, except the situation is reversed. There's an older person in my e-life who previously seemed interested in me, but as I'm becoming more attached to him, I worry/feel that he's withdrawing from me. It's very painful and anxiety-inducing. I am so sorry that you're going through this.

Here you are, Mac. A belated Valentine's Day rose.

I am still confused on why she can't pay student loan back. If one obtains education and professional job they can pay loan back. If you borrow 50k, your payment could be as low as $300 a month. If you hold professional job, that's not that much. If you drop out of college a year from graduation then you still need to pay debt back, yet you have no degree! Doesn't sound logical. One doesn't need to be wealthy to get education

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Actually, with that amount the monthly payment is higher. If you're lucky to score a "professional" job straight out of college. Typically they stick kids down at the bottom of the barrel as inexperienced and low wages. Imagine a little more making $11.54 an hour. But that's off topic

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