[Direction]

You will find that this (some form of mental illness) will try the best of friendships...some will go away and some will survive!

The loss of "Jan" as friend is an incredible blow for me...as a friend and someone to depend on...then there is the fact that "Joe" her husband and I played strategic board games...I'm doubting he will be able to come over...my roommate is best friends with "Joe"...Let's see that also means my daughter and sons loose their children as friends...then "Jan's" best friend and her husband (who also played games with), I will loose as friends...And of course my daugher and sons loose two more friends

I just feel ill and sick to my stomach...I've already let my children know that we will be unable to visit the "Jan's: house the two weeks I am off of work and that we may not be able to see them again. We always taught the children that sometimes our actions may hurt someone so deeply that apologizing will not cure the problem...so I told them unfortunately I did something that I don't think I can fix...

So in one sweeping motion I've lost all those I've cared about as well as my children's closet friends...

I have only one person that I recently got to know better that I haven't driven away...and looking back over the last two weeks...I think I almost did...I talked to my mom today...she knew something was wrong...I usually don't talk to her when things aren't going well...anyway I explained to her that I feel like I just lost everyone in real life who ever cared about me and that I cared about actually being friends with until I was of old age...

With my borderline tendencies this puts me in severe risk...

Anyway I'm starting to babble...I hurt so...I went over to an ex-girlfriends just to have a live person to hug...I feel so alone and abandoned and it is all my doing...it really makes me feel ... well I just use the word "crappy"...for those who have borderline tendencies...you'll know what I mean...

[(JD)]

(((((hugs))))) I'm so sorry you are struggling now.

[sabby]

((((((((((((Direction)))))))))))))

I too am sorry this is hard for you now. I have an idea, don't know if it will work, but maybe it is worth a try.

If these friends that you are having difficulties with are level-headed folks and caring individuals, maybe you can find a way to arrange play dates for all the kids, while keeping to a minimum your involvment with those who you are having issues with. You can explain to them that even if you all cannot agree or something, the kids are innocents in all this and as such still deserve to have a connection if at all possible.

Just a thought, don't know if it will help or not.

(((((((((((((((((((((((Direction)))))))))))))))))))))))))

Hugssssss
J

[Direction]

I think it is a great suggestion and maybe in time I can try that...my abandonment issues are in high gear (dad abandoned me when I was 12 and really before that...that was only when the divorce was final)

...and I don't know when my system can handle the strength not to worry about the fear of rejection...

[sabby]

I understand.....and I know it's not easy for you. I'm sure you are doing the best you can....for that I commend you! Try not to be so hard on yourself hon....Keep putting one foot in front of the other....things are bound to get better!

Hugsssssss
J

[UCLAFan]

Direction I Hope things get better for ya and your kids can still have their friends.

thinking of you... hope things work out....

[meander]

((((((Direction))))))))

I've lost friends as well through depression. But once or twice, I thought I had, but after a few weeks they came back... turns out they didn't quite understand it, but thought about it, and got over it. Hopefully Jan's not gone for good, but if she is, I'm hoping you make new cooler friends :-)

I like sabau's idea too, but only if it isn't too hard on you... kids bounce back pretty quick in my experience...

Direction--

I am sorry you are feeling so bad. I understand and know it is hard. I hope and pray that things will get better. You have your friends here at PC always pulling for you and in that you are never alone. I hope that you will cut yourself some slack, you are doing the best you can. Keep posting and know we are here listening whenever you need.

purplesecrets

direction,

holding your hand right now and sending you a caring hug. i know what you are going through. i agree with sabby. i have been in this situation but the kids are innocent in all this and should still be allowed to keep in touch, if the other side are adult enough to speak about it, otherwise what examples are they setting to their kids? i know not everyone is as compassionate as you. good luck, here whenever you need me you've helped me so much.
love you sweetie, take care, enjoy the kids while you have them and stick to your rules.

kerry xxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

[Wants2Fly]

I am sorry that you are feeling so alone and lost. We all have abandonment issues, some of us more so than others, and for me that feeling of abandonment is one of the worst. I feel so worthless and like an absolute nothing.

But as others have stated, sometimes people who at first turn out educate themselves and return.

Best wishes for finding the support you need and deserve.

[Direction]

Well I had a chance to meet in person and have a sit down candid conversation with the person I had hurt...I think we both were able to assert how we felt and are feeling now...overall a good experience...the kids got to play too...

I'm glad she got over the pain and anger...and was willing to talk through it as I value our friendship...

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( Direction ))))))))))))))))

[meander]

That's good news, Direction :-)

[jacq10]

(((((((((((((((((((direction)))))))))))))))