Police got called me and mum have come to a compromise

Today I have learnt a valuable lesson my issue was I wanted to do everything and I didn't respect my mother, one thing lead to another they wanted answers on how i became a camgirl who sees I didn't know how to say it without feeling judged and hated on and when I told mum she said I was immoral and disgusting for it. Without a better word for it I felt degraded, worthless and empty like if I am going to be made to feel so worthless. So I came to a compromise I quit for her also because the cops came because there was some verbal fights and my sis hit me but I didn't tell the police. I just was to numb to say anything, I kept on crying the police asked me if I wanted to harm myself because I looked upset I just cried. He told me if i needed to see the hospital I could. I just feel so upset and sad that I am wasting others time that I couldn't just disappear from exist that I had to exist. It is sad and I feel worthless for simply existing. I have decided to delete everything it doesn't matter what I want I have to respect my mothers wishes as I am living under her house that is all she asks. All in all I learnt how to respect others and not just think about myself and my needs and wants I am finally learning to met everyone half way.

If your mom knows you're a cam girl ... well that's grounds alone for a lot of contention between the two of you. Seems that your mother knows a lot more than the 'average' mother might know about their daughter (I won't digress into some of the things you've mentioned in previous posts).

You hold a lot against her and seem to blame her for a hell of a lot.

I question what's bought on the sudden change of heart.

I say this because you make a hell of a lot of posts about how angry you are with your mother. I'm sorry to sound so sceptical here but your past pattern of behaviour indicates it's something you're going to need a hell of a lot of help with - something that's been suggested to you a few times here.

And I don't know that you'll learn with the click of a finger how to let go of that anger you have towards her.

And the slightest thing you may perceive as her doing wrong you'll fly into a rage again.

In having posted the above I get what you're saying about the reasons that may have lead you to being a cam girl.

Sorry that I digressed (I focused too much on what you were saying about suddenly respecting your mother and it made me digress).

I just viewed her differently to what she really is and wants for me I thought she was trying to control and suppress me no she was just wanting to protect me. I guess I saw her as the villain not the carer I had in mind it was just a distorted way of mind

Her house her rules

Black-roses, do you see a therapist? I think a T could help you sort out these feelings of anger and remorse that you bounce back and forth from.

Seesaw

Hey, Roses! I am glad that you are able to see, at least for this moment, that your mom may not be the horrible person you have painted her to be. It doesn't seem likely to stick, though. Borderline personality disorder possible. plays a large part in your relationship with your mother. If you could get the BPD under control with the help of a therapist, your relationship might improve. Your conflicted self-views would also benefit.

Wishing you the best.

Black-Roses. Its great you could see the positive in this rough situation. You saw your mother wanted to protect you. Next thought. Yes I am that ignorant. What's a cam girl?

They like model for the webcam either naked or not but you don't need to be naked to get views.

Trust me, they're not going to keep paying you $50 if you don't take off your clothes. Who wants to jack off to someone with clothes on?

I've never seen a webcam because normally they PAY to see it. And those webcam girls start off in lingerie fondling themselves with a dildo or a butt plug. Nobody wants to pay to have a conversation with someone because ultimately, you getting naked and masturbating on camera is what you will actually be paid to do.

Yeah, it's not modeling.

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Yeah, I know I quit the exposure really is not worth the teeny tiny amount of money. I fact I deserve to treat myself with more respect